Blurting out with ADHD. Did I Just Do It Again? — ADHD Tip O the Day 796

ADHD: Impulsiveness, Distractability, Poor Social Judgement, Blurting Out

Impulsivness is one of the defining criteria for ADHD.  Products of ADHD impulsivity include both distractability  – I get a  distraction and I impulsively follow it, off task – and also blurting out. I get a thought and impulsively say it, sometimes even when I know better, but the impulse fires a microsecond before the alarm bell.  OK, let’s be honest.  Sometimes the alarm bell sounds soon enough and I go ahead and say it anyway.

When my wife kicks me under the table, that’s an external warning signal, but often I go ahead anyway, although sometimes I ask her to stop kicking me.  She doesn’t like this. But sometimes I pause and decide she’s probably right and I change the subject.  Sometimes.

I’m having trouble thinking of a good recent example, but here’s an old one:  

We were dining with good friends, very nice people, although bigotted (an oxymoron?  People can’t help where they were born?). They started in on some racist stuff and I interrupted them to deliver an educational lecture on the topic.  My wife kept kicking me but I just kept going.  They got very quiet and when I finished they started a different topic, and my wife stopped kicking me. (I am aware that people’s opinions are not affected by facts, but they had stated theirs, and I couldn’t just let it stand.  Could I?)

You know, that’s not a good example of blurting out, although I didn’t stop to consider before I started the lecture.  But I would do it again.

Anyway, I just asked my wife and although she agrees I blurt out all the time, she couldn’t think of an example either.  Maybe it’s not a bad as I think?  Maybe I can post an example next time.  She does point out that sometimes I post things that she thinks would go better unposted. Did I impulsively push the publish  button or is this an example of poor judgement, which I also have?

Strategies:

I don’t really have a strategy for this.

‘Stop and think before you speak?’ Seems like that’s like saying, “Just try harder.”  Could I really make that a habit, or is it that if I could do that, I wouldn’t have ADHD?

‘Stop talking when I’m getting kicked?’ But sometimes in my opinion, it’s not inappropriate.  Still, that might be a good strategy, percentage wise.

‘Keep your mouth shut?’  I do this a lot, and surely it keeps me out of a lot of trouble, but sometimes I need to speak.  Can I speak without blurting out?  Is it like all or nothing?

Any suggestions?

doug

 

Bonus Links:

intelligent   Oh, did I say something wrong?

Blurting out, I said it before.

#ADHD @dougmkpdp

 

Oh, did I do something wrong?

Life with ADHD.

ADHD mind

I can really use these.

Oh, my! Did i do it again?

There are no words to describe it

Whoops!

Prayers for Tom

ADD ADHD medicine usually helps. Not always.

 

ADHD and the Challenge of Relationships — ADHD Tip O the Day 795

If you think living with ADHD is a challenge, imagine what it’s like living with someone with ADHD.

I started to add, “And imagine what it’s like to live with someone who is living with someone who is living with ADHD.” but I decided that would be a little too much.

See, I don’t always blurt out. Note: That is a subtle clever segue to what I’m planning for the next post (planning).

 Is therapy the answer?

ADHD and Relationships

Six Secrets for an ADHD Relationship

Question O the Day:

You know that moment when you just pause and ask yourself, “Now what would be the very best thing to say in this situation?”

Me neither.

Quote O the Day:

“The only thing worse than being married is not being married.”

      Unknown Sage

Hopeful Note O the Day:  I plan to really do the third helping tool for ADHD once I get home, and then I plan to do a series on updates on medications.  I plan to.

What?

Whoops!

ADHD and marriage

Another favorite that’s been a problem.

I can really use these.

Send me to the store with ADHD? I think this one is worth repeating. Again.

right!

Marriage can be quite a challenge. Like most everything else, with ADHD.

 

#adhd,@dougmkpdp

Vacation! and ADHD. Vacation? — ADHD Tip o the Day 794

Have been on vacation a week now.  It’s wonderful!  But-

I had two goals for this vacation:

1. To relax.  It’s about time,
2. To get some things done, get caught up.

Unfortunately, the two goals are incompatible.  And guess what?  I’ve been busy, busy, busy.  Just like at home.  Lots of enjoyment, but no relaxation at all.  Until this morning.

I’ve had things to do:  blogs to write, papers to sort, folders to organize; medications, diagnostic criteria, lab values to learn; books to read.  And songs to polish, calls to make, passwords to update and organize, fotos to take, Japanese beetles to eliminate.  Exercise (gained 10 pounds on last vacation.) And not least of all, fish to catch.  Yes!

And I bought a used guitar, good one, but turns out it’s not playable.  I need to repair it – the action is way too high.  So needed to research on the net how to do that.  Hoping I can manage and not ruin it.

And besides, need to remind myself, this is not just MY vacation.  Martha has places to go and things to see.  So that takes time, too.  And even here, there’s still only 24 hours in the day.

We went to see Christina’s house in Cushing, after seeing an Andrew Wyeth exhibit in Rockland.  It was amazingly impressive and powerful; very glad I went.

Still, busy, busy, busy.

But this morning, I caught myself.  Got a cup of coffee and went out on the deck and just sat.  Well, mostly.  Did take a few fotos, but mostly just sat.  A very good ADHD tool which I haven’t been practicing for quite a while. I need to get back to it.

Strategies:

1.  Sit every day.
2. Prioritize my to do list, underline the essentials, and have a goal of one a day.
3. Use breathing techniques.

Need to be careful about my other goal, which is to catch more fish.  

Want to unhook from the busy,the  pressure, the ever turning internal flywheel.  Isn’t that what vacations are really for?  And also for getting a better perspective.

doug

Fantastic People O the Day:  Martha, Lucy, Jim, Katie, Will.  (wife, hosts – daughter and son in law, extremely generous and hospitable;  granddaughter and grandson in law)

Question O the Day:

Did anyone notice the little pun up above?  Anyone?

Link O the Day:

Christina’s World

Quote O the Day:

‘And you think you got troubles.’  related to Christina (progressive neuro muscular disease)

Striper (bass). catch and release.

yes

#ADHD @dougmkpdp

ADHD Help Number Three — ADHD TIp O the Day 793

I had finished this post, had it ready to go, and now – wham!  It has vanished.  So, what is my strategy?

I can procrastinate, and maybe it will magically turn up somewhere.

 Wait!  I’m on my laptop, away from home.  Maybe it’s on my home PC, just waiting to be posted.  What a waste it would be trying to recreate it now when it’s already done and just waiting,  So I’ll  wait til I get home and check it out.  That’s not procrastinating.  Is it?

Anyway, it’s a great post and the last of the three part series on ADHD helps.  So you can wait for it.  Can’t you?

In the meantime, you can enjoy this typical example of Life With ADHD.  You’re not the only one, see?

And if I can’t find it, then I will recreate it.  Then you’ll have all three helps and your life will be better.  Your deserve it.

Strategy O The Day:

Keep plugging away anyway.

Doug

Just wait a little longer.

The ADHD life

We ADHD guys are creative.

ADD ADHD has just been practice?

 

Anguished Cry O the Day, just to further illustrate the point:

I had this post all set up with great cartoons, then managed to erase them all.  Arggghhhh!  But that’s OK, I managed to salvage these.  This is just life with ADHD.  RIght?

#ADHD,@dougmkpdp,@ADHD

 

ADHD Help Number Two — ADHD Tip O the Day 792

Three Basic Ways to Improve Your Life with ADHD

1.  Sleep  2. Exercise  3. Get Outdoors

Help Number Two — Exercise.

Our son Duane had ADHD and learning disabilities.  He was extremely smart but couldn’t actually function.  The only thing he was good at was theater,  certainly not sports.  But – he finally discovered cross-country running.  He didn’t need to cooperate with anyone, learn any rules or plays, or be organized – all he had to do was run.

He was not a star, but he did well, for the first time in anything except theater.  It was a real help to him in many ways. 

The Dirty Word

Exercise is a dirty word to many people, but there are ways to change that:

Find something you are good at, enjoy, or at least isn’t an abhorrent chore.  Then you’ll be able to stick with it.

Don’t let it be an unpleasant ordeal.  Exercise with music, or TV, or a friend, or in a nice setting.  If you dislike it, don’t do it.  I never do push ups – hate them.

Make a schedule (ie structure).  Then that is a priority – “Sorry, I can’t do it Wednesday morning; that’s my exercise time.”

Set goals to challenge yourself.  Make them reasonable, and achievable.  Use small steps.

It is advised to do moderate exercise at least 30 minutes a day at least 5 times a week.  But, anything is better than nothing.  Do what you can.

Also, be sneaky.  In addition to your regularly scheduled sessions, find occasions to walk, climb stairs, or take a two-minute break and do stretches and isometrics.

Be Knowledgeable:

 You can do cardio-endurance exercises every day, though I don’t recommend it (jogging, walking, treadmill)’ but strength exercise need to be done on alternate days, to give muscles a chance to recover.  Try HIT – high intensity training.  You get the same benefit in less time spent.  Avoid buying expensive equipment or member ships – you’re just setting yourself up for defeat.  Stay on your schedule but maybe schedule different programs for variation.  When you miss or skip or don’t do well, avoid judging yourself.  Just start again. Keep records to give yourself positive feedback.

Benefits of Exercise:

Exercise will make your brain function better and you’ll function with your ADHD better.  That’s the main point here.  But there are so many benefits,  in addition to the obvious general health benefits: Good treatment for depression, anxiety or stress; improves self-esteem, reduces risk of Alzheimer’s.

Questions O the Day:

1. Can you add some tips about exercising for the benefit of our tribe here?
2. Did you notice all the applications of ADHD strategies in the above post?

Links:

ADHD and Exercise

Sports Help Children with ADHD, But IMHO, Help Adults Also

Exercise Helps ADHD with or without medication

How Much Exercise Do You Need?

Isometrics

HIT – High Intensity Training

 

So try something.

We learn from experience. Sadly.

Enough is enough.

Exercise helps with ADHD

Do something!

Oh, my, yes!

Three Simple Proven Helps for ADHD, or Maybe More — ADHD Tip O the Day 791

Making Your Life Better –  Even With ADHD

Here are the basics of dealing with ADHD:

1. Get enough sleep, whatever it takes.    Your best bet is to practice sleep hygiene, and/or use melatonin, or whatever.
2.  Exercise
3. Get outdoors

More helps for ADHD:

1. Use strategies.
2. Omega 3 Fatty Acid ( Fish Oil).

Additional Helps with ADHD:

1. Coaching
2. Therapy
3. Medication

Links:

Sleep hygiene

Melatonin

The instructions say 3-5 mgm, about an hour before bedtime.  Start there, but many people need 10 mgm before it works.  I need 15 mgm.  It doesn’t work like a sleeping pill, just helps you sleep better.  It works for about 70% of people.

Make Sure You Don’t Have Sleep Apnea.  

doug

Looking Ahead:

1. I plan to expand on the other points above, soon.  I plan to.
2. The June copy of Psychiatric Annals just arrived, dedicated to the topic of, guess what—“Adult Attention- Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder.”  I hope to glean some interesting stuff to share with you soon.

The State of the Books:

1. Your Life Can Be Better needs a few typos fixed.  I’m still procrastinating. Should be simple, but guess I’m afraid it won’t be.
2. The Bully is undergoing significant revision.  I’m not happy with this version and have been incorporating many suggestions.  One more beta copy is out and then it needs  major rewriting.  I’m not looking forward to that, but don’t want to give up on the book.  It’s aimed at helping bullies, parents, teachers, and administrators to understand bullies and how to effectively intervene.  It has morphed somewhat into a book on violence in general.
3. Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD, 365 Tips O the Day, is undergoing major updating.  That’s on hold until the first two projects are done.
4. Transformations, my autobiography, is in rough form.  It’s primarily for my descendants; who else in the world would be interested?  But I’d love to have had more information from my ancestors, so hopefully it will get completed. It’s the last book on the agenda at the moment.

Grimace O the Day:

Remind me not to shut my finger in my car door please.

addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp    

There are many alternatives to sleep.

Escape for a little while?

I just want to sleep!

I must’ve been waiting all day for a chance to have good worry.

That isn’t the way i planned it.

It really does help.

Is exercise a dirty word? Find something you like, not a horrible chore.

Cross Off Your ADHD —ADHD Tip O the Day 790

The Power Of Positive Reinforcement

We all need positive reinforcement, ADHD or not.

One way to give it to ourselves is crossing off.

That’s one of the side benefits of the to do lists; we get to cross things off.

That builds our self esteem and our confidence, and gives us more motivation to do things.

Go for it!

doug

Sour Note of the Day

You do realize that before you cross it off, you need to have done it?

Links

What is positive reinforcement and how does it work?

Lists

More about lists and ADHD.

Life is different, living with ADHD.

The ADHD life

Never been that good with time, either.

A Little Extra Benefit

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Comprehensive Treatment for ADHD: An Update —ADHD Tip O the Day 789

OK, So I Lied – Here Is More From the ADHD Article by Rahil R. Jummani, MD,

This is actually the end of the article I’ve been reviewing, somewhat edited, with my comments in italics:

“CDC surveys have shown that about 17.5% of children with ADHD are not being treated for the disorder. Research demonstrated the superiority of medication for the short-term management of ADHD symptoms.¹¹ However, the long-term effects of treatment, such as therapeutic benefit and adverse effect burden, have been fiercely debated.”

True.  Some studies show that meds really help most people, but that over the years,  there is no long term benefit.  I find this quite unbelievable.  If a boy is in danger of failing a grade, driving his family and teachers crazy and interfering with the learning of other children, turning to drug abuse, turning to delinquency, having trouble making and keeping friends, having depression – or a girl is significantly underperforming, with some similar risks – and medication can help them do better, even if for only a few years, aren’t they going to do better later?  And even if not, what is the value to everyone to have the symptoms abated for those years?

But, in fact, most studies show very significant long term benefits, including lower incidence of drug abuse, for the ADHD children who are treated.

 I won’t go into the benefits of treatment for adults today.

“There is also rising concern about stimulant misuse, especially among adolescents and young adults; they may feign symptoms of ADHD to obtain stimulants for performance enhancement. It is therefore imperative to assess both current and historical symptoms and to clarify the degree of functional impairment. Careful monitoring of treatment and requests for prescriptions is critical.”

True.  Studies show that the stimulants do not actually improve performance in non-ADHD people, but give them the impression that they did.

“Both the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the American Academy of Pediatrics have published clinical guidelines for the evaluation and treatment of ADHD.^13,14 Treatment should be comprehensive and include psychoeducation for the patient and his or her family, cognitive-behavioral therapies, academic accommodations and services in the school setting, and executive functioning and social skills development. Although medications for the management of ADHD address core symptoms, it is increasingly recognized that they must be paired with other therapeutic interventions to achieve the best prognosis.”

True.  But just the medication alone can give significant help to many, just not the best.  The consensus is that in very young children, the interventions should be tried first.

doug

Bonus Links:

Many Links to ADHD treatment articles, most but not all are negative, the more positive ones are near the bottom.  Not very up to date (unlike my post!)

Reports That Are More Positive 

The Whole Entire Complete Article by Rahil R. Jummani, MD

Notes O the Day:

1. I think that if the meds help a child with ADHD, that’s a great thing, and if they don’t, there is a fair chance that the diagnosis is not correct.
2. I plan to go more into the effects of treatment, pro and con, an into treatment of adults.  (I plan to.)  There is a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding out there.

So try something.

Enough.

So try something.

(Not really.)

Children with ADHD tend to have problems in school. Duh.

Life with ADHD.

Anyone can make a mistake, we just do it more often.

Here’s my latest post.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

“Are We Overdiagnosing and Overtreating ADHD?” – Part Three, the Last and Maybe the Best— ADHD Tip O the Day 788

Final Installment On the ADHD Article by By Rahil R. Jummani, MD, highly edited.

My opinions and comments are in italics. For what they’re worth.

Prevalence:

Prevalence estimates have been increasing, with a prevalence in US children of over 8% now and 4% in adults. However, prevalence estimates of ADHD remained static for older adolescents and decreased for children who were multiracial or of other races.  Because?

 Of those diagnosed, 69% were treated with medication—6.1% of US children.

Increasing prevalence

There seems to be a generally increasing prevalence of ADHD in the US. This upward trend may reflect better public and medical education and awareness of the disorder,  increasing recognition of the inattentive subtype, environmental factors such as pollution, prematurity, and food additives, although no clear relationships have been established.  This will not, however, stop some people from having very definite opinions. 

Methodological and criteria changes may also contribute.

There are also realistic concerns that the increasing prevalence of ADHD may be artificial and reflect poor diagnostic practices and that treatment that is increasingly reliant on medication. When child and adolescent psychiatrists  evaluate children, they are less likely to initiate medication management immediately upon diagnosing ADHD. But child and adolescent psychiatrists represent a small percentage of clinicians, and the vast majority of ADHD cases are identified and treated by primary care practitioners.

A study of  pediatricians showed significant variability:

• Parent and teacher rating scales were used in only about half of the cases

• DSM criteria were not universally documented

• 93.4% of patients with a diagnosis of ADHD were treated with medication

• Only 13% received any form of psychosocial intervention

Although rating scales are  sensitive, they lack specificity, leading to a high false-positive rate for the disorder. Rating scales must therefore be combined with a comprehensive assessment of patients, and in the case of children, their parents.

Obtaining information about symptoms in multiple environments with the use of multiple informants is critical. For example, it is good clinical practice to interview teachers and, at times, conduct observations in the classroom before making a diagnosis. This is ridiculous, given the time pressure on physicians.  

Meticulous assessment for ADHD reduces misidentification of the condition when symptoms are caused by another disorder, such as a mood, anxiety, substance use, learning, or disruptive behavior disorder. Conditions that frequently co-occur with ADHD must be a focus of treatment as well.

All true, but of equal concern is the number of undiagnosed and untreated children and adults who suffer from ADHD.

doug

The Whole Entire Complete Article

Another New York Times Attack on ADHD?

On Diagnosis

Blessings of Facebook and ADHD.

You don’t believe in ADHD?

Blessed with ADHD creativity?

Life with ADHD.

Me and my computer – a strange love affair.

More about lists and ADHD.

Life With ADHD. Oh, My! — ADHD Tip O the Day 787

With ADHD, I need a wife, an iPhone, and strategies.

I had an 8:30 breakfast appointment with my boss at an excellent restaurant. And he was paying. I set the alarm; it worked. I got up on time, got ready and left on time. I had a nice brisk walk, but went past the restaurant.  I soon realized this, turned around, found the restaurant, and was only a few minutes late.

Miraculous for someone with ADHD, right?

The boss and I  had an enjoyable, productive and delicious meeting. At 10:36 my sainted wife, who looks after me, called and asked if I’d forgotten the 11 AM meeting at my other job.

Guess what?  I had.

I wrapped up the meeting, excused myself, walked briskly to my car parked behind the house, and rushed to the meeting.

But the bridge was out. I tried to find  way around, but couldn’t. I called for directions and asked them to tell my colleagues I’d be a little late.

The directions didn’t work. I figured I’d missed the turn so I went  round again.            Same path, same results.

Pulled over, got on the GPS, and although it directed me to the bridge that was out, I was able to figure out what to do. Turns out I hadn’t properly followed the directions.

I drove as fast as I  could and got there at 11:30, only 30 minutes late.  No one was there except the administrator, who gave me a surprised look and asked why I’d come so early.

“Early?”

The meeting was scheduled for 1 o’clock. Not 11 o’clock. It’s the other day’s meeting that’s at 11 o’clock.

No problem.

This gives me time to get a head start on the paperwork, to dictate this blog into my iPhone, and to make some phone calls.  In addition, the kind administrator just brought me a snack so I won’t get hypoglycemic.

So I dictated this blog. Unfortunately, halfway through, it somehow got erased. That’s the way technology treats me. However, I remained calm, and dictated it again. Here it is.

All is well.  Surely the universe is unfolding according to plan.

Just another day in the life of a person with ADHD.

Know what I’m talking about?

doug

Written with SwiftKey Note ( while I waited for the 1:00 pm meeting to start.)

Sent from my iPhone (Which I finally got back on Monday from Springfield, Avis, and FedEx. Thank goodness.  Otherwise, this whole story would’ve been a disaster.)

ADHD Strategy O the Day:

As I said above, we need a caretaker, a smart phone, and strategies.  That’s the strategy.

Heads Up O the Day:

My intention is to finish the article on 

“Are We Overdiagnosing and Overtreating ADHD?”

next time. This is where we actually try to answer the question and look at why the frequency of the diagnosis is increasing.  Any guesses  or opinions you want to offer in advances will be welcome.

Note that this is an intention.  I’ve learned to never make promises. You can count that as a bonus strategy.

Links:

From Lisa  -The most liked comments ever

Messing up with ADHD

Some days just surviving is a great triumph with ADD ADHD.

 

Time is a booger.

With ADHD it’s hard to get started some days.

ADHD keeps life interesting.

Uh oh, I did it again!

“Are We Overdiagnosing and Overtreating ADHD?” – Part Two— ADHD Tip O the Day 786

More from the recent ADHD article in Psychiatric Times

 (Jummani, MD, et al, in Psychiatric Times, May 2017, pp 26-28.)

To diagnose ADHD formally in children requires at least 6 of 9 inattentive symptoms and /or at least 6 of 9 symptoms of impulsivity and hyperactivity, present in two or more environments, evident before age 12, not accounted for by other conditions, and        “…clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of, social, academic, or occupational functioning.”

Thus, there are tight rules for making the diagnosis and not just saying someone is a problem in the classroom.  The “let the children be children” advocates don’t know what they’re talking about.  Johnny is failing his classes, spending a lot of time in the principal’s office, shunned or teased or bullied by the other kids, losing his homework if he did it at all and at times his whole backpack, and is a source of extreme frustration to his parents.  Annie is daydreaming through class, barely passing, and largely ignored because she doesn’t cause any trouble.

To make the diagnosis in adults,  the criteria are the same, but only five symptoms are required.

Most adult ADHDers  have less dramatic hyperactivity and impulsivity.  But life is still hard. We need strategies.  And often medication.

In addition, before diagnosing, a good evaluation would include historical data, a rating scale, DSM criteria and additional information from at the least one other person who knows the patient well.  This often does not happen.

Most diagnoses are made by primary care physicians who do not have the training, and more importantly, do not have the time, for this.  They are more likely than psychiatrists to quickly start patients on medication without first starting psychosocial interventions.

I agree with the need for a good evaluation, but sometimes just getting the story and observing the patient in an interview are enough to make the diagnosis pretty clear.  I did also use a rating scale, usually more to help convince the patient more than myself, and got outside information when possible. The recommendations can be impracticable, given the limited time most physicians have and the lack of enough psychiatrists to meet the need.  One recommendation was that the physician go to observe the child in the classroom. Oh, my.

Many psychologists are better trained to make the diagnosis than many physicians, even many psychiatrists, but may lean too far away from recommending medication since most can’t prescribe. Many well trained ADHD coaches could make the diagnosis, although they are not supposed to.

I think most people with ADHD deserve at least a trial of medication to see how it works for them.

The rate of children being diagnosed with ADHD, and often treated with medication, is rising.  There are many possible explanations for this, which I will try to address next time.  Maybe.  This post is already longer than I’d intended. 

doug

News O the Day of Interest to No One But Me:

My iPhone arrived Monday morning.  I really missed it.

Links:

DSM V diagnostic criteria for ADHD,  David Rabiner, Ph.D.

Getting Diagnosed

Medications for ADHD?

ADHD is not —

Who needs an eulogy? Won’t it will be a little too late?

There are two kinds of people, those with ADHD and when I eat ice cream sometimes I get a headache.

Denial

“I don’t believe in ADHD.”

My ADHD medication supplement.

 

   @addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp    

The Cell Phone Saga: Another Chapter in My Life with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 785

My iPhone has a great GPS and since I’m directionally challenged, I use it a lot.  Sometimes it sends me on a wild goose chase, but usually it’s right on.

So I set it in the cup holder of the rental car where I could easily see it and hear it.  Once before, I’d walked out and forgot it there, so the small voice said, “This is not a good idea.”

But I also knew that if I set it in my lap I was likely to forget it and when I got out of the car it would likely fall to the ground and break, so I said, ” Oh, no, I’ll just make a point of remembering it.”

Got to the Springfield Airport just fine.  Turned the car in. Guess what?

Oh,my.

that moment of disbelief if a facebook picture comes out right

Life with ADHD.

Or it might have to do with the way your brain works. Or doesn’t.

What was I talking about??

What good is it if you cant find it

But it was early Saturday morning, and no one was in any of the car rental booths.

I left a note with my name and address and explaining the problem in the key drop box , where I’d earlier dropped the keys, which meant I couldn’t get back into the car.

So when I got home, I called the Avis counter at the airport.  See, I couldn’t call before, because I didn’t have my iPhone.  The nice man said he had it, but I would have to call Monday and talk to someone then.

Monday was a holiday, and I didn’t think they’d be there and I kind of forgot it. Know what I mean?  Tuesday I was swamped.  Wednesday I was at work and couldn’t make a call.  So my dear sainted wife made the call for me.

The Avis guy was not very nice and not very helpful, but he said she’d have to call Fed Express.  Could the guy have told me that on Saturday? The Fed Express lady was not very nice and not very helpful.  She insisted that we open a Fed Express account.  Finally my wife got it arranged.  $45 for shipping, $9 for picking it up, and $9 for something else.  

You can do the math.

Supposed to be here tomorrow, Friday.  Supposed to.

You’d think that Avis, the big company who I’ve paid a lot for rentals, could have just generously shipped it.

You’d think that, wouldn’t you?

You’d think by now I would’ve learned to listen to the small voice, wouldn’t you?

ADHD Strategy O the Day:

Listen to the small voice.  It knows better than you do.

doug

Question O the Day:

Is losing your iPhone worse if you have ADHD?  Yes, I know it’s more likely, but is it worse?

Bonus Links:

stop losing things?

lost it again

FOFA

Oh, My!

Additional Plaint O the Day:

They said it would be here Friday.  Today is Saturday.  Do you think it’s here yet?

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

“Are We Overdiagnosing and Overtreating ADHD?” Or Not? Or What? — ADHD Tip O the Day 784

This is the title of a recent ADHD article

in Psychiatric Times (reference below, for the compulsive or curious.)

ADHD was first identified as a syndrome in 1935.

(I didn’t know this, did you?  — Syndrome – “a group of symptoms that consistently occur together or a condition characterized by a set of associated symptoms.”  Usually means we don’t know the cause, and/or that it might have multiple causes.  Whether or not a syndrome can also be called a disease is debatable.)

“Untreated, the condition takes a toll on a child’s self-esteem and self-confidence.”  It ain’t all that helpful in adults, either.

ADHD often co-occurs with other disorders, tics, anxiety,depression, unstable mood, disruptive behavior, substance abuse, and/ or learning disabilities.   Not surprising, given what it’s like living with ADHD.  Don’t know of any studies of the incidence conditions of these in our significant others, but –.

Adults with ADHD have increased rates of divorce, unemployment, traffic violations (and accidents) substance abuse, and arrests.

From the Net:

After adjusting for a range of factors, including age, sex, family history of psychiatric disorders, and employment status, people with ADHD were found to have a mortality rate ratio (MRR) that was more than twice as high as individuals without ADHD (MRR, 2.07; 95% confidence interval [CI], 1.70 – 2.50; P < .0001).Feb 26, 2015

Having a diagnosis of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) increases the risk of death and reduces overall life-expectancy, a large study published in The Lancet shows. It finds that people with ADHD have a more than doubled risk of premature death – and that accidents are the most common cause.

Well, if that doesn’t cheer you up, I don’t know what.

Can we give ourselves some credit for doing as well as we are?

doug

Heads Up O the Day: I plan to cannibalize this extensive article for a few posts. The rest is not quite so morbid.  Not quite.

Query O the Day: I’ve implied some follow ups on previous posts.  Does anyone remember what, or care, or want to suggest another topic?

Principle O the Day: I’ve learned never to promise anyone anything.

Irrelevant Comment O the Day: I start every morning with a prayer and a laugh. Some days, the laugh is forced.

Comment On the Comment: But the prayer and laugh actually do help. That is the ADHD Strategy O the Day.

addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Be informed about ADHD.

ADHD and marriage

What?

At any age.

ADHD is interesting.

ADHD is not —

We learn from experience. Sadly.

Life with ADHD. Clumsy or inattentive?

I almost forgot, surprise, surprise. The ‘promised’ reference. Article by R. R.
Jummani, MD, et al, in Psychiatric Times, May 2017, pp 26-28. So there.

Is My ADHD Messing With Me Again, Or Is It Something Else? —Tip O the Day 783

Is it ADHD or Human Nature?

Puryear’s Principle of Human Nature #2:

Once we find something that helps us  cope with a problem, we will quit doing it.

And this does apply to me.  Oh, my.

The Index Card System for ADHD

I was doing great with my index card system, but gradually I let it slip.  I started putting every new task, or even ideas or phone numbers, on the red to do card, which is supposed to only have 5 things on it – the list of 5.  It was easiest to just pull out the red card, write on it and move on.  Bad.

A New ADHD Strategy

Once I realized this  wasn’t going well, I changed,  But I didn’t go back to the old way, using the yellow index card for new things and then putting them onto the red card or others as appropriate.

Instead, now I use a yellow sticky note on the inside cover of my appointment book.  It is much easier to pull  out the big appointment book than to search for the yellow card among all the other cards in my pocket.  And it’s easier to change the sticky for a new one than it was with the yellow card.

How ADHD Works

With ADHD, we get bored easily and  our focus center gets turned on by novel things.  So maybe after we’ve done something for a while, we need to change it.  Even if it has become a habit, although I hope that’s not true.   So maybe it’s ADHD, or maybe it’s just Puryear’s principle number two.

More on this next time.  Or soon.  Maybe.

doug

ADHD Questions O the Day:

Can you contribute an example of this phenomenon?

How could you use this ADHD strategy with technology instead of index cards or stickys?

Irrelevant ADHD Comments O the Day:

Just for fun, I put ADHD into each heading. More instances of ADHD in a post are supposed to make it come up earlier on google if someone googles ADHD.  Who knows?

I don’t really know if today’s principle is  principle number two or one or three.  With my ADHD I can’t keep the numbers straight.

#ADHD @dougmkp #adultADHDstrategies

What good is it if you cant find it

The ADHD Creative Mind

Where am I now?

ADHD can make the simplest htings difficult.

Its not ADHD, he’s just being a normal kid – in detention, expelled, flunking, ostracized, etc.

 

 

Is It Ethical to Diagnose A Public Figure? — ADHD Tip O the Day 782

It is unethical for a psychiatrist to diagnosis a person, either private citizen or public figure, without personally examining him.  If the psychiatrist has indeed personally examined a person, it is then unethical to make that diagnosis public, or even the fact that the examination occurred, except  in some rare exceptional circumstances  which would almost certainly include having the examinee’s consent.

The exception would be in legal cases, where the person examined is informed in advance that the examination is not confidential and will be discussed in court.  Still, the psychiatrist’s information sharing would be confined to the court, not in the general public.

In other words, a psychiatrist cannot ethically comment on the psychiatric status of any other person if they have not examined them, or if they have examined them.

I don’t know what the rules are for psychologists, but suspect they are about the same.  Not my problem.

However, there is no reason that I cannot share my own diagnosis, it’s adult ADHD.

My ADHD causes me a lot of problems in life, with the following symptoms:

Often makes careless mistakes and lacks attention to details
(Examples: overlooking or missing details or handing in work that is inaccurate)

Often has difficulty paying attention to tasks
(Example: difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy readings)

Often seems to not listen when spoken to directly
(Example: mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of obvious distraction)

Often fails to follow through on instructions, chores, or duties in the workplace
(Example: starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked)

Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities
(Examples: messy, disorganized work; poor time management; fails to meet deadlines)

Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to participate in tasks requiring sustained mental effort, like preparing reports, completing forms, or reviewing lengthy papers

Often easily distracted by other things, including unrelated thoughts

Often acts as if “on the go” or “driven by a motor”
(Example: is unable to be or uncomfortable being still for an extended time, as in meetings or restaurants)
Often talks excessively,  blurts out an answer before a question has been fully asked, blurts out inappropriate comments. (Examples: completes people’s sentences; cannot wait for next turn in conversation)
Often interrupts or intrudes on others (Examples: butts into conversations, games, or activities; may start using other people’s things without asking or receiving permission; may intrude into or take over)

Often has difficulty keeping commitments.

Often has trouble getting pictures to show properly on facebook or script to line up right on wordpress.

And this just a sample, I have other symptoms as well.

Adult ADHD affects approximately 4% of the US adult population.

But with strategies, and sometimes medication, we can manage to function.  With difficulty.

Oh, well.

doug

@ADHD @dougmkpdp #adhd

Whoops!

My ADHD and me.

ADHD mind

Or it might have to do with the way your brain works. Or doesn’t.

ADHD mind

Did ADHD make you a target? Or a bully?

 

 

ADHD Strategies 40 Tips — Tip O the Day 781

Living With ADHD, Ain’t It Awful?  No, It’s Not.

Just got a bad book review from Frances.  She said she couldn’t read the book because my life is so awful it made her feel awful to read about it.  She imagined that the “counting things and routines and patterns” made me suffer.  

But these are strategies and I would be suffering if I didn’t have strategies to help me cope with my ADHD.  Not to brag, but I have a great wife, a good job, many interests, a good social network, a good spiritual life, rewarding hobbies, good health, a great family including eight grandchildren, and other benefits. And a new dog.   I am blessed and I am happy.

And things keep getting better.  For example, I think I finally just caught onto the secret to “living in the now,” which had always seemed a meaningless phrase, and it is making things even better.

So I am a big fan of strategies for ADHD.  Strategies are why I can say, “Your Life Can Be Better.”

doug

The Book Review

40 tips

Semi-irrelevant Remark O the Day:

I have heard that bad reviews are much better than no reviews, so I appreciate them.  Someone is paying attention.

Life can be hard with ADHD

Fun Fun Fun with ADHD

ADHD Blessings?

With ADHD Strategies

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hurry!” – An Unpleasant ADHD Attitude— ADHD Tip O the Day 780

Is being in a hurry an integral part of ADHD?

Being in a hurry is unpleasant and inefficient.  It is also not based on reality but it’s an attitude.  The attitude generates the feeling, which generates the behavior, or perhaps the behavior generates the feeling?

Anyway, that’s the way I feel most of the time, in a hurry, even if there is no reason.  I do try to manage situations so that I’m less likely to get that attitude.

Why?

Was in a hurry to get to church this Sunday.  Pressure.  Why?  What if I’m five minutes late?  God won’t be mad and the world will probably keep turning.  There are worse disasters than being five minutes late to church.

doug

Were you waiting on me?

The ADHD life

Eastern time, Central time, Mountain time, Western time, ADHD time.

THE INNATE PERVERSITY OF INANIMATE OBJECTS

Bonus Link:

Hurry!

Why Are We Like We Are?

Request O the Day: 

If you’re not in too much of a hurry, could you make a comment about your experience of “hurry”?

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

The New ADHD Diet — ADHD Tip O the Day 779

Many People Ask or Comment About Diets for ADHD.  Here are Some Insights:

(Actually these insights are a mixture of facts and opinion.  What isn’t these days?)

Research:

The research shows that some people with ADHD benefit somewhat from some diets.  The overall results are not very impressive, and most people find the diets too difficult to follow; the benefits do not  justify the hassle.  That said, since most research is based on averages, surely there are some people with incredible stories about the great success they have had with special ADHD diets.  I would love to hear from you.

Weight Control:

Dieting is a larger issue than ADHD.  Management of weight is a major concern.  That’s where my personal interest lies, as a person with ADHD, minimal will power, and an ongoing weight problem.

The Three C’s Diet:

So I have decided on a new diet, the Three C’s Diet.  It consists of ice cream, chocolate and Courvoisier ( a cognac brandy, if anyone doesn’t know).  And the diet allows an occasional root beer float.

Why not?  Nothing else has worked.  It’s worth a try.

Diets Don’t Work:

It is difficult for anyone to stay on any diet, especially those of us lacking will power.  But some people do manage to lose weight on a diet.  Then they return to their old eating patterns and usually regain more weight than they lost.

How To Control Your Weight (advice from someone who has not been successful.)

Avoid diets.  Change your eating habits and your exercise habits, for the rest of your life. (Easy to say.)

More Research

Research shows that dark chocolate and alcohol are both health promoting, in moderation.  Moderation has never been my strong point. Surely there are also some health benefits from ice cream as well.

doug

 

Suggestion O the Day

If you are serious about controlling your weight, do not spend two weeks lying on the beach at a Mexican resort.

Note O the Day:

Anyone will benefit from a healthy diet and good exercise, ADHD or not.

Links:

ADHD and Foods

Diet may help the hippocampus

Start of a series on will power

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Willpower, good intentions, weight management – with ADHD?

Oh, my, yes!

Postponing the inevitable. Is that procrastinating?

Life is already hard enough.

Super Comments from Ram and Sue — ADHD Tip O the Day 778

Lots of people have contributions to help the ADHD tribe

I hope each one of you reads all the comments here, but I’m not sure.  Maybe you don’t read ALL of them?  Here are two recent ones that are too good to miss:

Ram

I’m still not good with lista. But I do use some helpful tips from this page: the list of one. When I catch myself in a Netflix-induced stupor, I think “if you could do something today, what would it be?”.

I improvised a couple new ones for myself: When I’m sitting around, bored and think “I need to try and do xyz soneday”, I immediately think “what’s stopping you know?” (Usually, nothing, so I go ahead and do it).
When I’m procrastrinating on reinforcing a rule I’m trying to learn (like teeth or skin-care) by thinking I don’t feel like it, I stop and think “are you really making the conscious decision of not doing your routine?”
These variations of the list of one have made an impact in my life!

The point I want to emphasize is that Ram came up with her own strategies that work for her.  I offer strategies that many people find useful, but they are examples, or templates, to help you design your own.  Also, this comment gives good examples of using self talk, and in a positive way, and also of what I call “mottoes.”  One of my best mottoes is “Do it now, do it right, do the hard part first.”

Sue  

Sue Williams Brawn
Fresh Start Coaching
Calgary, Alberta Canada
(403) 813-5291

sue.freshstart@gmail.com
www.freshstartcoaching.ca

Great post Doug as always. With regards to my own to-do lists – I tell people I’m like a toddler who can’t stand their food touching – I can’t have say, financial and family obligations on the same list. My brain can’t process that. So I created a word template that divided my to-do list into domains – work, financial, volunteer, family, social, errands. It made it easier for me to figure out what the priority would be during the time I want to focus on work, for instance, and it keeps me from doing other things during that time. If I need to pick the most interesting thing to do because I need a dopamine boost, at least I’m choosing the most interested work-related activity during the time I’ve designated as work time.

I find my ADHD coaching clients abandon lists when they don’t really know how to make them actionable – often it’s a challenge with how to figure out priorities. Once we do that, and we work with their learning styles – ie. big white boards with coloured sticky notes might work for visual learners, notebooks or paper planners for the tactile learners – the list is more likely to be acted upon. I do find a lot of tactile, visual people try to put lists on their phone – but keystrokes don’t help us remember, and the list disappears into the phone and isn’t visual – the phone isn’t always the best place to keep lists if you have ADHD.

Sue is emphasizing some of my favorite points:

Everyone is different, unique, although we ADHDers share many of the same problems.  For example, setting priorities is a booger. You need a strategy that works for you when you are stuck, or that helps you not get stuck – when you “need a dopamine boost.”  Lists are essential, but they don’t work unless you know how to use them.  And, an important point that I have not emphasized, writing things down helps us remember them.  I often take notes during a talk or a lecture, even though I know I will probably never look at them again.  But the writing not only helps me remember the key points, but also helps me keep my focus on the talk.

Thank you Ram and Sue.

I love comments.

doug   

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @adhdstrategies @dougmkpdp

Send me to the store with ADHD?

 

 

Some days you’re just not that into it.  (I’ve been trying for years to get this foto to come up right on facebook.  Did this do it????)

Not too effective.

Is ADHD a disorder?

The Perfect Approach With ADHD (or without) — ADHD Tip O the Day 777

The Perfect Approach to Life With ADHD

OK, I’ll admit I get lazy, and that I’m still behind, but trust me, that’s not the reason for this post.  The link below is just perfect:

The Perfect Approach

Trust me.

doug

Screw Up O the Day:

Just noticed, I have two posts 722 and no 744!

Coincidence?  The work of the devil?  Part of a sabotage plot by vanillas?

You decide!

I don’t think it’s worth the trouble to fix it.  Would not be a good use of my time.  I think.

Sometimes its too much

One style of procrastination.

Getting ready

We with ADHD are different!

Sometimes its too much

@addstrategies #adhd #add @dougmkpdp

Lists and ADHD, or Not? — ADHD Tip O the Day 776

ADHD and To Do Lists?

Some people have graduated from to do lists.  God bless ’em!  I don’t know how they do it.  I can’t function without to do lists.  The long list. The short list.  The list of five.  Sometimes the list of three and sometimes even the list of one.

But some people say that lists don’t work for them.  It’s my belief that they don’t have the right strategies for using them or else they would work.

So here’s the short course, To Do Lists 101:

 

Lists don’t work with ADHD if you don’t know how to use them

Lists

Lists 2

Lists 3

Lists 4

Lists 5

ADHD Apps

One More List Post

doug

ADHD Ramblings O the Day:

As you can see, there is are a lot of posts about lists on the net.  There are a lot of different strategies and of course a lot of opinions.  The general consensus is that to do lists are essential with ADHD.  Of course, not every one agrees with the consensus.  Everyone is different.

I experimented with the fotos and  facebook.  Made a mess of my facebook page.  Finally got one to work, using one of my favorite fotos, of the little ballerinas.  Now I can’t figure out how I did it.

I’m finally trying out some apps in spite of being severely technologically challenged.

Having lots of fun with Note (thank you Martha B)

 

The ADHD life

Send me to the store with ADHD? I think this one is worth repeating. Again.

There are no words to describe it

I never colored in the lines

Plan ahead. Give God a good laugh.

I lost my to do list. I need to put finding it on my to do list.

 

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

One At A Time – – – ADHD Tip O the Day 773

With ADHD, we need to work harder, but it’s more important to work smarter.

When I got back to work after two weeks vacation, there was a huge stack of papers on my desk. I used a very good strategy and started organizing the papers, so I could deal with them more efficiently.  That was very wise, and it was a good strategy. Really, the only thing wrong with it was that it wasn’t working.

It took me a while to realize that I wasn’t accomplishing anything. I was just shuffling papers around. I was beginning to get demoralized, discouraged, and stagnant. So I changed to strategy B. I put all the papers together back into the huge stack. I started on the first paper, did everything that needed doing, and filed it away, finished. Then I went to the next paper.

It might have indeed been more efficient to organize them first. If it had worked. But I wasn’t accomplishing anything.

 from Puryear’s principles of human behavior: When what we’re doing isn’t working, we try doing more of it. 

Tip O the Day: When plan A isn’t  working, shift to plan B.

doug

Bonus Tip O the Day:  If you are going to use something from a bottle, and you loosen the cap and then get distracted and start doing something else instead, and then come back and think it would be a good idea to shake up the bottle before you use the stuff, it’s a good idea to tighten the cap before you start the shaking.   Just saying.

Links: The Power of One

Stuck

Stucker

 

Why can’t I get started?

Were you waiting on me?

The round tuit. A gift from my wife.

It takes longer with ADHD.

Life is different, living with ADHD.

Where am I now?

Some things are a challenge with ADHD.

 

 

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

 

 

 

” I Don’t Need Any Medicine!” — ADHD Tip O the Day 772

Learning More About My ADHD The Hard Way

Had a wonderful vacation.  Was amazed to find I didn’t need my Daytrana patch at all, did just fine without it.  Lying on the beach, eating and drinking, and even reading and taking notes.  And did I mention eating and drinking?

 No problem.

An Experiment

Decided when I got home to try going without it except for the days I work.  Maybe I didn’t really need it the other days.

Wrong!

I put on my patch and went back to work the first day back.  Everything went fine.  I was off the next day, no patch.  Lots of catching up to do.

Couldn’t get started, no traction, piddled around all day, minimal accomplishment, if any.

Couldn’t even think of the strategies I know how to use for these times, and it never occurred to me to just put on the patch later. 

A wasted day.

Bummer!

Strategy:

Wear the patch every day.  Makes a big difference.

Was the experiment a failure?  Not at all.  I found out that I need to wear the patch, except maybe not on vacation.  Maybe.

doug

 Bonus Links:

ADHD Medications?

Am I A Guinea Pig?

Piddling With ADHD

We Are All Similar and All Different

Paperwork?

One of my ADHD problems.

Procrastination Flowchart

How shall I spend my time?

@addstrategies #adhd #add @dougmkpdp

Medication, Science and ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 771

More new ADHD science

From Dr. Wilens and AudioDigest and others:

1. Research shows that the stimulants are not risky for the heart or stroke.  Nonetheless, I probably wouldn’t prescribe them for someone with heart trouble. Kids on stimulants may have a slowing of growth, with lower weight and height, but they eventually catch up.

2. Adding guanfacine, a blood pressure medicine that is calming and sometimes used alone for ADHD,  to a stimulant may sometimes be more helpful than either alone.

3.  Other research shows that the only alternative treatment supported by evidence is omega 3 fatty acid.  Not biofeedback, diet, etc. That doesn’t mean that no one will benefit from alternatives, but the odds are against it.  We are each unique.

4. 50% of children with ADHD will still have it in adulthood.  75 % of adolescents who have ADHD will still have it as adults. Of those who seem to recover, nearly 100% will still show brain abnormalities and have some mild symptoms as adults.

5. People who disbelieve or pooh pooh ADHD will rarely be impressed or influenced by facts. (Personal observation)

Tip O the Day: Don’t bother arguing with them.  Just laugh at them and walk off.

doug

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

No one is more certain in their views than the one who has no idea what they’re talking about.

ADHD mind

Who, me?

At any age.

ADHD is Not –

Did I ever grow up?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Update: Five Scientific Finding About ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 770

From Dr. Wilens, Mass. General, by AudioDigest, on current ADHD research:

1. Our ADHD brains are different.  When given a certain task, an extra area of our cortex lights up compared to vanillas.  This makes neural processing less efficient. Studies also found that some of our connecting tracts between brain areas are different in ADHD.  This is more evidence that ADHD is a real and specific condition.

2. In some people, stimulant medications will change these brain alterations to, or towards, normal. 

3. The less good outcomes of having ADHD include mortality, suicide or attempts, substance abuse, smoking, school problems, criminality, motor vehicle accidents, low self esteem, depression, anxiety disorders and conduct disorders, among many other undesirable outcomes.  

4. These outcomes are correlated with untreated ADHD versus treated.  The earlier medication is started and the longer used, the better the outcome.

5. Note that this a correlation and does not prove cause.  For example, maybe the kids that got medication earlier and stayed on it longer had better parents, which may have been the causal factor.  However, the correlation, along with the normalizing of the brain with meds, is highly suggestive of a causal relationship. 

doug

Footnote 1: There are no footnotes.  Use google.

Promise O the Day:  I will try to follow this up next time, with more about ADHD itself,  and both medications and alternative treatments for ADHD.

Tip O the Day: Notice how I said “I will try.” I learned long ago not to make promises.

Question O the Day: I am using medication. Will write more about this also. Are you using medication or not?

With ADHD, we sometimes have occupational challenges.

Be informed about ADHD.

Or it might have to do with the way your brain works. Or doesn’t.

Some ADHD children don’t outgrow it. Anyone come to mind?

“I don’t believe in ADHD.”

 

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkp

Back again with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 769

 Does this really have anything to do with ADHD?

I’m back.  Sorta.  Swamped.  So here’s some of my favorite clips.  I’m hoping that you will:

1. watch them.

2. enjoy them.

3.  leave a comment on the question, “What do these have to do with ADHD?”  (or any other comments you wish.) I have some ideas about it, and think that at least some of them relate very closely to ADHD.  What do you think? 

pinky 

Street musician 

Whos on first 

The dentist

Two babies 

The elephant 

Tarzan

We don’t care

doug

Feeble excuse o the day:

Struggling to catch up.  Some tips are coming.  But not today.

doug

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

ADHD and Relationships – A Followup— ADHD Tip O the Day 768

What are ADHDers like?  What is it like to live with ADHD? What is it like to live with someone with ADHD?

And why are relationships so difficult for ADHDers?  If you would like to understand, this article from Attitude nails it. 

I wish everyone in a ADHD relationship would read this:

The Link – Why is he (she) like that?

Strategy:

Read Orlov’s book The ADHD Effect on Marriage

doug

Quote O the Day:

“You can’t be married and be right.”

        unknown spouse

What?

Were you waiting on me?

Another favorite that’s been a problem.

ADD ADHD and reliability. I am responsible, I’m just not reliable.

I’ll think about it.

ADHD Skills

Happens to me all the ti

A little empathy please, OK?

Yes, sometimes I blurt out.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Myths and What It’s Like to Live with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 767

 

Some People Still Do Not Understand ADHD

There are climate change deniers, and flat earthers, and anti-vacine conspiracy theorists, and there are still many people who just do not understand ADHD.

It does no good to get mad at them.  You can’t convince those who are determined to remain ignorant, and you can’t teach a pig to sing, but we still try, don’t we?

doug

The Links:

Myths about ADHD by moshin banday

Eric Tiver’s podcast with Dr Russel Barkley on dealing with family

Quote O the Day:

“The only thing worse than being married is not being married.”

            from unknown veteran of marriage

Bonus Links:

Caring for Someone with ADHD

More on ADHD and Relationships

Repetitive Whine O the Day:

If I put enough pictures in, maybe some of them will come out right on facebook?

Don’t put up with it.

Whoops! Sometimes we blurt out.

Leave them behind.

ADHD doesn’t exist?

Ignorance about ADHD doesn’t prevent opinions.

No one is more certain in their views than the one who has no idea what they’re talking about.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add

 

 

ADHD and Relationships. Is it possible? — ADHD Tip O the Day 766

My long suffering wife  (very, very long) still gets annoyed sometimes when I do ADHD stuff.  For one example, of many, calling her to come help and then doing something to get ready while she’s standing there waiting.

I’m trying to enlist her help, as Melissa Orlov teaches, to figure out together ways to prevent these problems.

We have come up with one strategy – I’ll try to have everything ready before I call her.  But I’m afraid that may just be a strategy of “trying harder.” Which we all know doesn’t work.  We’ll see.

But we have backup strategy: if she’s waiting, I’ll explain to her what I’m doing.  That should help.

It would be great if I could just stop doing ADHD stuff, but we haven’t come up with a strategy for that yet.

doug

 

ADHD relationships by Jenna Knight

Melissa Orlov website

The ADHD Effect On Marriage by Melissa Orlov

 

Bonus note:  This post represents another strategy, locking in.  By publicly saying what I plan to do, I’m more likely to do it.

My ADHD and me.

ADHD marriage.

Life with ADHD.

What?

Whoops!

Were you waiting on me?

ADHD and marriage

Another favorite that’s been a problem.

What?

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

A New Approach to My ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 765

Manila folders are God’s gift to people with ADHD,  and yellow stickies may be his bonus gift.

I have used my index card system successfully for many years, and have written and written about it.

Quote O the Day:

“Whenever we struggle and struggle with a problem, and finally find a solution, the next thing we do is stop doing it.”

                 Puryear’s second principle of human behavior

I recently realized I wasn’t using the cards correctly anymore.  I kept pulling out the red card – habit? easier to find? something about red?- and writing all kinds of stuff on it, including my to do’s.  But the red card is only for the list of five to do’s. 

I tried to correct this.  Didn’t work. Kept doing it.

So I made a rule: Cant write anything directly on the red card, need to put it on a yellow card first and then transfer it to the appropriate place.

Didn’t work, kept pulling out the red card and making a mess of it.

My other essential tool is the appointment book, always with me.  So now I keep a long yellow sticky in the inside front cover, and everything goes there first.  Keep the red card for the 5 to do’s.

It’s working, pretty well anyway.  The appointment book is even easier to pull out than the red card. If I keep at it, it will become a habit.

I believe that for every problem, there is a solution (pretty much).

doug

Bonus Link:

Mindful sent the perfect cartoon.  Perfect!

Laments O the Day:

1.  I have tried to develop the habit of checking each link before I post.  So far, little progress.
2. I have tried, and tried, and tried to figure out how to get the pictures to fit right in facebook.  So far, less than little progress.  As you can see.

Extraneous Comment O the Day: Of course, you aren’t using cards and appointment books, are you? You’re using smart phones.  Smart.  But then, you’re not as technologically challenged as I am.  So, would these concepts still apply for you somehow?

Or it might have to do with the way your brain works. Or doesn’t.

Oh my! Life with an ADHDer.

Living with an ADHDer.

Eastern time, Central time, Mountain time, Western time, ADHD time.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Remedies for ADHD. Or Misinformation? — ADHD Tip O the Day 764

ADHD Remedies and Solutions to ADHD

I just found a post that’s an interesting follow up to the last two posts about treatment without medication. It’s an example of unsubstantiated claims and misrepresentations.

Guy almost says that he is curing ADHD, but maybe not quite.  “Remedies” ? And I was unaware that doctors were getting commissions from “Big Pharma.” Many spinnings and erroneous implications.

Only at the very bottom does he reveal that he is not “just” selling herbs.

But:

I like some of his points:  Herbals can also have side effects and need to be researched carefully.   Children should have a good evaluation and diagnosis before medication is considered.  Children need more exercise than most are getting and ADHD kids shouldn’t be made to “sit still.”  And ADHD has no simple explanation and no simple solution. (although is he offering one?)

The Link:

Check it out

Three natural remedies for ADHD

doug

Question O the Day: I wrote recently of a relative who seems to benefit from all the “naturals” he’s taking.  Have you seen significant benefits for your ADHD from diet or herbs?

Be informed about ADHD.

ADHD research and meds

No one is more certain in their views than the one who has no idea what they’re talking about.

“You believe what?!”

 

@dougmkpdp #ADHD #ADHDstrategies

Mindfullness, Meditation, and ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 763

Non-medication treatments for ADHD – part two 2017

Mindfullness – means pause in what you are doing and take a nonjudgmental inventory of your thoughts, emotions, physical feelings and situation.  The key is nonjudgmental, just be aware, that’s all you do.  Takes maybe 30 seconds?  Can you do this three times a day?  You may need anchors.

Meditation– There are many forms, and it doesn’t come easy if you have ADHD.  But the easy way is doable.  This is the simplest form I’ve been able to find.

Sit, relax (oh, yeah.), focus your attention on your breath.  In and out.  How does it feel?  Your mind will of course wander all over the place, but gently bring it back your breath.  Pay attention to it again.  Over and over.  Non judgmentally practice this, don’t assess or score or grade yourself.  Just do what you can.

Can you do this for 5 minutes?  I have tried this for years, and can finally do it for 15 minutes.  That doesn’t mean I can focus on my breath for 15 minutes, it means I can do what I described above for 15 minutes. I discovered a strategy which made a big difference for me.  I set a timer for my 15 minutes, and then I’m not thinking so much about the time.  It has a limit on it.  Helps a lot.

Three breaths – Stop what you are doing and take three breaths.  I use an anchor – hearing a bell.  That’s all, just stop and take three breaths. You can do this pretty often, especially if you find a good anchor

Results –

I don’t do the mindfullness regularly, but hope to do more.  I find the other two practices to be remarkably helpful.  Meditation makes the whole day go better.  The three breaths clears the mind for a moment and reduces that constant sense of urgency.  (Do you know what I’m talking about?)

The Basics for ADHD –

I must again mention these: Get enough sleep.  Exercise.  Get out of doors. And don’t forget strategies.

Finally –

Of course, eating healthily can’t hurt, tho I’m not sure it actually helps the ADHD.  I do advocate everyone, ADHD or not, take a multivitamin with minerals  and 2 grams of omega 3 fatty acid (fish oil) a day.  I think the fatty acid does help a little with the ADHD.  And I do prayer before my meditation, and find that very helpful, too.

doug

The  Hedging Disclaimer of the Day-

The above are my opinions, but most of them are supported by scientific research – probably not the multi vitamin. I don’t usually give references, but you can google anything you want.

Links:

Mindfulness in ADHD

Meditation and ADHD

Prayer and ADHD    

Prayer and ADHD – part two

 

Exercise helps with ADHD

Fidgeting helps with ADHD

If we’re interested —

Be informed about ADHD.

Sometimes its too much

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Non Medication Treatment for ADHD — ADD Tip O the Day 762

How can you treat ADHD without medications?

(I will skip entirely the question, “Why in the world would you want to?”

For today, anyway.)

Some of us self medicate with caffeine.   Omega 3 fatty acids show some benefit.  Some people get some benefit from a very restrictive diet, most find its not worth the trouble.

There is some evidence supporting zinc, iron, vitamin C, magnesium – I suspect these may mostly be of some help when there is a deficiency

Other things that help improve ADHD symptoms:

Exercise, get out of doors, get adequate sleep, have a routine, get a coach.  Meditation with ADHD is almost an oxymoron, but doing just the little that you can will help, and you can improve at it with practice.

Medication, or alternative substances, or diets are not the answer to ADHD, they just can be of some help to some people.

doug

Links:

Extremely good and comprehensive treatise on ADHD and it’s treatment

Non medications approaches to ADHD

Quote O the Day (paraphrased):

‘ The purpose of the ADHD medication is to help you focus enough that you can use strategies.’

Dr. Goodwin  (I can’t find out which Dr. Goodwin, but he is an ADHD expert.)

One approach to non medical alternatives to ADHD:

Here’s what a relative takes at least once daily for his ADHD.  He swears that it helps a lot, and I have no reason to doubt him.  I don’t see obvious signs of ADHD in him and he is a highly effective person.

Alternatives to ADHD Medications

Alternatives to ADHD medications

Alternatives to ADHD Medications- Some People Swear by Them

Alternatives to ADHD Medications

lternatives to ADHD medications

Question O the Day:

What other things do you find helpful?

 

Anticipation O the Day (including bonus strategy):

Planning to have more on this topic next time.  Hopefully. I have noticed that I don’t always do what I planned to.  I do pretty much do what I have promised to, though, because I have a good strategy for that – I never promise anything.

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Be Prepared, if you have ADHD, even if you’re not a Boy Scout — ADHD Tip O the Day 761

What could possibly go wrong, with ADHD?

I was recently honored to be a guest, one of many, on Jennifer Friedman’s podcast.  I must confess that I don’t listen to podcasts, don’t have the patience, probably missing out on a lot, but already have way too much demand on my time  and am not currently looking to add anything.

I was challenged to get things linked up to be part of the program.  But Jennie was a competent patient helper, and we did get connected.

But I had failed to check the sound set up.

My whole piece sounded like I was speaking from the bottom of a deep well.

When I listened to a previous podcast I had been on, I was horrified to hear that I had filled it with “ums”.  I thought I didn’t do that.  But this time I was careful, and don’t think I had any “ums.”

Then I couldn’t remember the right address for this blog, so the website address got into the podcast instead, which would’ve been OK, except when I checked the website, the link to the blog didn’t work.  I tried to fix it but couldn’t get the password right and now I’m locked out of the website for too many wrong password tries.

Oh, well.

After we finished, I’ve had a hard time finding the show on the net.  Somehow the link gets tied up with i tunes and I don’t get it.  But I found a button on the lower left that lets me hear the show, though I can’t see it.  That may be a blessing.

Do you think I may be technologically challenged?  Possibly?

My topic was on to-do lists, and how to use them effectively. Many people don’t like them, or say they don’t work, because they don’t know how to use them.

If you want to check out this podcast it has a lot of good people on it, and we each to give our favorite ADHD tips, so there is good stuff there.

The Podcast

Strategy: Check everything out in advance.

doug

Quote O the Day:

“When you are in a bad situation, it helps to realize that there are other people in the same boat.  But not much.”

             unknown wise source

Bonus Links:

Jennifer’s daily podcasts

Tom Nardone, our cohost on Jennifer’s show, his podcast- one show, I can’t make the link to his site work.  Maybe I am technologically challenged?

To do lists?

Life with ADHD. Clumsy or inattentive?

I was better with the old technology.

Or it might have to do with the way your brain works. Or doesn’t.

Tom is a funny, funny man.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

ADHD and Self Esteem? A Plan for the New Year—ADHD Tip O the Day 760

Self-esteem is essential and precarious, especially with ADHD

Our self esteem suffers when we don’t complete something, and that demoralization makes it harder to start the next job.  When we do complete something, the boost in self-esteem helps us move on to the next task.

A bonus tip – when you finish something, stop for a moment to give yourself a pat on the back.  

But there is so much more to it; like everything else, it’s complicated.

Pete Quilly is a Canadian ADHD coach and expert, who helped me get started with this stuff. And I hope he won’t mind if I just copy something from his post without permission, since I am giving full credit to him.

Excerpt from Pete’s recent post:

“What things boost your self-esteem?

• achievable goals
• affirmations/positive self-talk
• avoiding energy vampires
• being helpful to others (boosts dopamine)
• belonging to positive people and groups – that you resonate with – that do things you enjoy doing
• breaking down a big project into smaller parts and getting it done
• create something physical, making something with your hands
• doing something creative, physically, artistically, emotionally, or intellectually creative ie, make a meal
• exercise and meditation
• faith
• figure out a script with a problem you are having – start using it in front of the mirror
• gratitude journal
• groups that you resonate with, what you like
• hang around people who appreciate you
• help someone make something – use your strengths to help others
• learn what gas lighting is and how to recognize and deal with it
• learning a new skill
• notice and celebrate your successes and get curious why –> how can i use that again?
• recognize manipulation
• rewarding yourself when deserved
• short, doable routines
• spend less time on web/social media
• stepping outside your comfort zone
• succeeding at a small goal
• try something new or challenging
• try, test, measure, evaluate and adapt

 

Pete Quilly’s post – several good lists

Bonus Links:

Criticism and self-esteem

I can really use these.

ADHD is not —

New Years ADHD Note:

My biggest resolution is to not make any resolutions. Resolutions are just set ups for failure and demoralization.  The Strategy is to just do what you can do and give yourself credit for it.

Happy New Year

doug

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Five Disconcerting Facts, Relevant To But Not Limited To ADHD — ADD Tip O the Day 759

Disconcerting Facts:

1. Our decisions are made unconsciously, based on unconscious factors, mostly emotional.  After a decision is made, we think we “decide.”  Then we come up with “facts” to support our decision and make it appear to be rational.

2. Our memories, clear, strong and certain, are inaccurate. And every time we bring up a memory,  we change it from the time before. (Note:  this inaccuracy and certainty of memory can be the source of marital or other conflicts.  Not the only source, though.)

3. Natural substances, marketed for health purposes, are made under uncontrolled conditions, often do not contain what the label says, sometimes contain other substances also, some of which may be harmful, and, of course, these products are chemicals.    (Note: this may or may not disturb you, depending on your viewpoint about medicines.) 

5. Facebook and WordPress are not necessarily designed to enable you to post what you want, looking the way you want it to.  (Note: This is related to something called “formatting”, whatever that is.)

6.  Not everything you read on the internet is necessarily entirely true.  (Note:  We are now officially in the “Post Truth” era, related to “The Age of Ignorance.”)

 
A Small Comfort

It may, or may not, be of some comfort to you to realize that we with ADHD are not the only ones significantly screwed up. 

Strategy:

It will be useful to remain aware of these facts as you stumble through your daily life.

doug

Heads up Note O the Day:

I have decided that the next post will be more information about natural alternatives and medications for ADHD.  (If I remember.)

Bonus Links:

ADHD and Decisions

Avoid Decisions

Decision Fatigue

So I don’t have to spend the day on facebook?

Aging has it’s benefits. Doesn’t it?

What was I talking about??

My ADHD brain

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

It’s Christmas/Hanuka/Holiday Season -A challenge with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 758

The Holidays are supposed to be Joyful

But with ADHD, they can be just extra challenging.

Did you procrastinate on getting the gifts or the cards?

Does the prospect of  making choices and decisions terrify you?

Are you having trouble using unscheduled free time?

Are the memories of previous holidays making you feel depressed?

Does the prospect of another ‘joyful gathering’ with your family fill you with dread?

Well, welcome to the group.  The holidays are stressful and distressing to many people, and probably more with ADHD.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you.

doug

Strategy:

1. Remember to use your basic ADHD strategies – sometimes we forget.
2. Cut down – set smaller goals, do less.
3. Remember that you do not Have To do anything you really don’t want to.  Think about it; you really don’t Have To.
4. Be sure to watch the movie, Home for the Holidays. This is one of our annual traditions.

Very Appropriate Links:

An ADHD night before Christmas by Rick Green

Downsizing Christmas – from Beth

Accomplishments! Even with ADD ADHD.

Some ADHD children don’t outgrow it. Anyone come to mind?

Getting ready

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

 

Using ADHD Strategies On the Job — ADHD Tip O the Day 757

ADHD Strategies at Work

Probably everyone uses strategies for their work, but it’s more essential if we have ADHD.

I like my new job at the pen. I’ve needed to work out the strategies specific to this job.

I’m writing complicated orders that have to be written perfectly.  I also need to make sure each patient’s name and the date are correctly put on the order and on each progress note.

So I check each chart before I close it. Then, if I have time, I check each one again before I turn it in.

I also complete each chart before I see the next patient, so I don’t get behind and feel rushed, and so I don’t need to remember anything about that patient for later.

Some officers are fast in bringing the patients to me, so I have the patients wait while I finish the chart before I dismiss them. Then the new patients don’t arrive before I’m ready.  If the officers are slow, I dismiss the patient as soon as I can and finish the paperwork while I’m waiting for the next patient.

Usually, I get thru the day’s list of patients. But lots of things can go wrong at the pen. Some days I ‘m waiting a long time for the next patient to come, and sometimes they never do. My strategy to help me not lose patience, of which I have so very little, is a mantra, “I’m getting paid anyway.”   So why get frustrated?  It doesn’t help.  I use the time to prepare charts in advance, and when all those are done I study up on the medications.  And I can just reschedule the patients for next week.  Most of them aren’t going anywhere.

In a real pinch, I can go to the pods and talk  briefly with the patients in their cells.  That’s   unsatisfactory, but I can learn that some I  didn’t really need to see,   and others I do need to schedule for next  week.

I try to get thru the whole day’s list each  time, but sometimes it’s long and a  challenge.  I do some triage, although it seems unfair. For example, I’ll spend more time with a young guy who’s in for the first time, has some intelligence, and will be getting out soon.

 I’ll spend less time with an older guy who  has multiple diagnoses.   

Finally, I have another mantra, “I can only do what I can do.”

It’s taken me time to devise these strategies, and surely I’ll come up with others.  Many of them are specific applications of strategies  I’ve  already been using, like  “Set reasonable goals.”  and “Don’t get into a rush.”, and “Always  double check.”

The point of all this?  Can you identify any problems that come up in your work? Are you using strategies to cope with them?

Doug

Bonus Links:

Best jobs for people with ADHD

Other helpful mantras or slogans

ADHD at work– from Royce Flippin

It takes longer with ADHD.

Natural selection at work.