Child to Adult ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 859

About 8% of US children have ADHD.

About 50% outgrow it during adolescence. For the rest of us it changes somewhat. We usually get less impulsive and less hyperactive.  For example, at a business meeting, we don’t keep leaping from our chair and running around the room or yelling inappropriate things; we just fidget and occasionally say something inappropriate. And maybe knock over our water glass or forget to bring the essential notes.

Some of the improvement is due to maturation of our brains. But even if we are in the fortunate 50 and no longer have enough symptoms  for an ADHD diagnosis, our brains are still different from vanillas and we probably  have  mild ADHD problems.

Another reason for the positive change is that we’ve learned some strategies and we cope better.  So maybe we won’t forget the notes.

My experience of ADHD in children is  limited.  Of course, I experienced  my own childhood, plus my son Duane’s. I’ve heard a lot of others’ childhoods, and I follow the literature.  I haven’t evaluated nor treated children for ADHD.

If you read the comments on these posts, which I highly recommend, you’ve read the discussion  Ken initiated (Post 857).  We have somewhat different views on the use of medication for children with ADHD. Ken’s comes from his experience with his son and his experience as a teacher.  I’m hoping Ken will continue the discussion a bit further.

Kens’ comments stimulated this post and a few to follow, addressing medication and other interventions for children, many of which apply to adults.

Just to give you a preview: colored manila folders are wonderful!

Feel free to share your childhood experiences.  (Or your opinions, or almost anything else  you wish. Almost.)

doug

Hopeful Note O the Day:

I think we have some guest posts lined up.  I’m eagerly awaiting those.  Feel free to contribute one. Or more.

Book Notes O the Day:

The Your Life Can Be Better book would be useful for teens, but I don’t know about children.  Certainly the principle of how to formulate and apply strategies would. The 365 Tips book is on the 11th draft and is being edited by Tom. Thank you, Tom.  Progress in a long slow process.

Irrelevant Note O the Day:

I have a miniscule amount of experience of teaching kids with ADHD and was able to help some. That was very gratifying.

ADHD Links:

Helping ADHD Kids Focus

Improving Adult ADHD Without Medicines

(Or I might say, in addition to medicines.)

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

“Why not just let boys be boys?” Because with ADHD, they can’t function.

 

 

Did your ADHD show early?

 

 

A Radical Change — ADHD Tip O the Day 858

Maybe ADHD Pushes Us Too Hard?

I started school when I was five and started working when I was eleven. I’ve always liked working. And I was always competing, with myself and others.

Now I’ve reached a certain age, and I’m shifting gears, entering a new phase of life.  I call it  coasting. All my life I’ve been striving, trying hard to do better, to improve. I don’t think I’m gonna get much better, and I’m tired of striving and competing.

At the gym, I lowered the weights on the leg machines by 5 pounds, and I’m no longer pushing to increase the weight every day.

In my job, I am no longer trying to do excellent work, just good enough. We have so many patients to take care of that good enough is  all that’s reasonably possible, and my striving for excellence was messing things up.

I am still trying some things: trying to relax, take it easy, sit more often, do mindfulness more often. But generally, I’m trying not to try.  This doesn’t come naturally, but it feels good.

I don’t regret the past, but it’s time to change.

Are there areas of your life where you don’t need to try so hard? Then would you maybe function better in the other areas?

doug

Snide Comment O the Day:

Well, we’ll see.

Thought Experiment o the Day:

In how many ways does ADHD make you try harder?

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Really??!!

 

Just keep on keeping on.

Snuck up on me!

Medicine for ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 857

Some people are on too much medicine and too many meds and some on not enough. Meds are helpful to some people and not to others. For some people meds are miracles and for some not helpful at all, or worse. We are each unique. Meds are mostly helpful and certainly worth trying. 

ADHDer “I don’t want to take that medicine; I read the side effects.”

Me  “What side effects are you afraid of and what do you think the chances are that you will get them and if you do, how long do you think you would need to put up with them?

Some people are afraid of side effects, not understanding that side effects are only possible side effects; some people get them and some don’t. If you get them you stop the medicine. Nothing to be afraid of.

You won’t know until you try it.

Sometime the first medicine works fine. Sometimes it takes a while, trial and error, to find the right medicine, the right dose, and the right time to take it.

I need my Daytrana.

doug

Semi-relevant Story O the Day:

I told my wife I was going fishing.  The water is running high right now.  Too high to go really, but I need to get out.

She asked, “Isn’t it dangerous?”

I said, “Yes.”

It is dangerous.  I’m also going to walk to the library. That’s dangerous, too.  I could get hit by a car, fall and hurt myself, get mugged. But walking would be safer than driving.  Flying would be safest of all, but that’s not feasible.

If I wanted to be safe, I’d stay at home in bed.  But then I’m in danger of developing blood clots, falling out of bed, getting injured by a fire or a tornado. Fairly safe from flooding here, though. 

Life is not safe; everything is a gamble.  Figure the odds.

Links:

I Don’t Need Any Medicine

Previous Comments

Ritalin?

Me off my ADHD medicine

Efficient with ADHD. Huh??—ADHD Tip O the Day 856

I’m trying to get more done in less time and with less effort.  Tthat sounds like trying to be more efficient, not one of my strong points. So I asked for advice from my son-in-law, Bruce, who is sharp and knowledgeable.

Bruce  recommended that I tie these posts together with a theme and include quotes from the book.  I’m trying to follow his advice but Ineed to ask him to clarify what tie them together means.  Are they tied together  already by the theme of ADHD, and specifically, how to live with adult ADHD  and make your life better using strategies?  The tips are to give you help with that, but maybe they need to be more focused on the theme?

In the interest of efficiency, I’m sending Bruce this post instead of calling him.

The Tip for Today is to try to save time when you can, and sometimes you can make one thing serve two purposes.

Chapter 31 of the book is about trying to avoid being rushed and pressured.  Not only are these states of mind unpleasant, but they increase our rate of making errors.  Which  will lead to feeling more rushed and more pressured.

So think about ways to be efficient.

Your comments, critiques, concepts, conclusions, criticisms, and contributions would all be enthusiastically welcomed.

doug

Definition O the Day:

efficiency

noun

1. the state or quality of being efficient.”greater energy efficiency”

   synonyms:

   organization, order, orderliness, planning, regulation, logicality, coherence, productivity, effectiveness, cost-effectiveness Does any of that sound like me?

I can hyper focus. Sometimes.

Links:

Habits of highly efficient people (easy for you to say.)

How to be efficient

Stay Ahead

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Best ADHD Blogs of 2019 — ADHD Tip O the Day 855

The Link: I can’t swear these are the best blogs, they may have left out some (snicker, snicker), but I’ll admit these are  darn good.

I’m not posting often enough for one thing.  I can give several reasons.

I’m not getting enough guest bloggers.  There are some really good ones out there, but they’re busy.

Well, I’ll try to do better.  I try to do a lot of things.

Question O the Day:

How can you tell an explanation from an excuse?

Answer: If I say it, it’s an explanation.  If you say it, –.

Quote O the Day:

You know that little voice that says, “Oh no, you can’t say that.”?

Well, I have one of those.  It’s just that it runs about eight seconds behind.

Second Question O the Day:

Who out there would like to do a guest blog?  How about you?

ADHD and Screens — ADHD Tip O the Day 854

ADHD Book Review??

I got a negative review of Living Daily with Adult ADD or ADHD.  Well, kinda.  Starfish had not read the book, nor  had she bought it. So it wasn’t really a review; it was a complaint, a cry of frustration. 

Starfish:

            1 .0  out of 5 stars     Why isn’t this book available in paperback?!

Format: Kindle Edition

My ADHD brain doesn’t process or remember info on screens. The minute it’s not visible, it no longer exists. Out of sight, out of mind. Seems ironic that this possibly helpful book is dangled out there as out-of-reach as an untranslated foreign language version. Makes me question the author’s expertise with the condition altogether, other than as a fellow victim.

I rarely reply to a book review, but this one caught me. I appreciated that she thought the book would be good, and I              appreciated that she took the trouble to write a review. But even more so, I agreed with her.

I don’t like reading off of the screen,  not anything of any length. I miss more information than I do from paper.   And I like to hold a real  book in my hands.

The good news is that I’m revising Living Daily, and it will come out in a book and e-book. I’d like  send Starfish a free copy but I don’t know how to reach her.

The bad news is I don’t know when it’ll come out.  My ADHD does slow me down.  Maybe six months?

doug

Questions O the Day:

1. Does anyone else besides me and Starfish have trouble reading off of screens?
2. Does anyone know Starfish? How can I get in touch with her?

Bonus Links O the Day:

ADHD and Reading

 

Good ADDitude Posts

Marriage Tips

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Momma Tried Meds— ADHD Tip O the Day 853

Should you give medication to your ADHD child, or take it your self?

Diane Yvonne shared her post on another site.

“Just wanting to share my experience. My 11 year old son has ADD. We opted not to try medication for some time, just personal preference and fears of the unknown stopped us. Now I feel like such a terrible Mom as we put our son on medication for the first time in January and he is doing GREAT! He just brought home his first report card and he has a 3.0 GPA. That is a first! He describes ADD unmedicated as a big bright room full of distractions and he describes being on medication as being in a room big room with light shining on the task he needs to focus on. This was how he describes a classroom setting. He is getting class work done now, so happy I let go of my fears and finally tried a medication for him.”

There are a lot of people afraid or unwilling to try ADHD medication for a number of different reasons.  It is important to educate yourself and deal with facts and not fears and unfounded opinions. I believe that every child with ADHD deserves a trial of medication.  Ritalin would be my first choice However, the current medical guidelines recommend trying other behavioral approaches first, so apparently sometimes they work.

I’ve said before: for some people the medications don’t work; for some people, like me, they help some; for some people, like Diane’s son, they’re a miracle.

Diane, thank you for sharing.  I applaud your courage.

doug

Meds can help ADHD.

Bonus Links:

Big Discussion

Meds for ADHD kids

Non stimulant meds

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Gift O the Day:

I’m going to try to send a free E booklet to all new subscribers. Six Basic Strategies for Coping with Adult ADD/ADHD.

If you have already subscribed and would like one, get me your email address and I’ll send it.

Some Little Things that Help — ADHD Tip O the Day 852

Little Things Can Make a Difference with ADHD

One of the keys of living well in spite of ADHD is making habits. With a habit, you don’t have to remember, think, or make a decision; you just do it.

Here are some little things I’ve made habits for.

1. Whenever I use my credit card, I put it back into my billfold. Then I stop and check that it is in my billfold. Even though I just put it there.

If this seems like silly nonsense to you, a waste of time, too much effort, then you have never spent a day looking for your credit card, calling to cancel it, and having to call  to update your automatic payments (and then find it in your shirt pocket, where you never looked because you never put it there.).

2. Before I leave home, I tap my left pocket to be sure my billfold is there, and my right pocket to be sure my iPhone is there. I’ve found it is better to have them with me than to have forgotten them.                                                                                                                     
3. As I’ve mentioned before, before I drive away from the pump, I always check to make sure the nozzle is not still in the gas tank. This can save some hassle.

These are small things, but they can prevent some big things.

Doug

PS O the Day

In her book about compulsions, Can’t Just Stop,  Begley says that many of our minor compulsions are not problems or mental illness, but necessary and useful ways we cope with the anxiety from the chaos of our lives. We need to have some areas where we feel we are in control (even though that may also be an illusion.)

My little habits are not compulsions. I don’t have to do them. I don’t get anxious if I don’t. But they reduce the level of chaos in my life and my life is better.

Quote O the Day:

And O the day before, and O the day before that, and O —

“Well, I won’t do that again!”

Links:

Habits

How to form a habit

Make a new habit – your life can be better.

Life with ADHD

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bad Words — ADHD Tip O the Day 851

Don’t Use These Words If You Have ADHD
or maybe even if you don’t.

Ram recently stated that “Stupidly, I fell off the bike– .”  I suggested that that wasn’t a good word to apply to herself, but she explained that she didn’t, she was applying it to the situation.

OK.

But

I’m recommending that we eliminate “stupid,” and all variations from our vocabularies. We ADHDers tend to suffer from low esteem, tend to get abused by others, and we don’t need to compound it. You wouldn’t call your child “stupid,” so why would you do that to yourself? It may be okay to call someone else that, but I don’t recommend it. Instead, I recommend you eliminate it.

Another Bad Word- “Should,” and also, “Have To.” 

These words stimulate our unconscious resistance. “You can’t tell me what to do!” They actually make it harder for us to do whatever task we were applying “should” or “have to” to. I recommend you eliminate them from your vocabulary also. You can say “I need to,” or “It would be good if I -,” or even “I’d like to-,” if you can believe it. Form a habit of using alternative statements.

Words have power. Let’s use them wisely.

doug

“Stupid” ( I think made a mistake about the Spanish here.  Was that stupid?)

“Have To” – Alternatives

The Power of Words

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Our inner child has ADHD

 

 

 

JADE and ADHD —- ADHD Tip O the Day 850

Ram, who is a great contributor to the ADHD blog, has written about the difficulties of dealing with family.  I couldn’t refrain from offering some advice:

“Ram
Families are truly difficult. Ignorance makes it even worse. You need to manage your way. you know them and you know you, and I don’t. One alternative way it could be handled is, when you feel there is reason to say that you have ADHD, say it. Then if they come back with crap,  you can just say, “That’s an interesting viewpoint.“ And then do not engage further on the subject. If they keep saying crap, just keep saying, “You have an interesting viewpoint there. “You don’t have to answer any questions or explain or defend.”

Principle O the Day, from AA:

JADE:  You don’t have to justify, explain or defend.

Confession O the Day:

I am biased towards encouraging people to come out about their ADHD when possible.  The more of us who come out, the less stigma there will be.

Wise Saying O the Day:

The best thing about good advice is that it does so little harm, because no one ever follows it.

Analogy O the Day:

Trying to educate someone about ADHD when their mind is already made up is like trying to teach a pig to sing.  You will just get frustrated and it annoys the pig.

doug

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

You don’t believe in ADHD?

“I love hearing your opinion about ADHD!”

You don’t have ADHD!

What is it really, ADHD?

Outgrow ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 849

Questions Abound About ADHD

A follower asked if  children outgrow ADHD. Research shows that 50% of children with ADHD will “grow out of  it” by late adolescence.  This means that they might still have some symptoms but the symptoms are  fewer and mild enough that they would no longer meet criteria for an ADHD diagnosis. 
The research also shows that  their brains do not change to normal but do  improve in that direction.  Those who have been treated with stimulants show more brain improvement, but still don’t attain “normal.”
For the 50% of us who continue to have the full syndrome, our brains did not change but our  symptoms do moderate somewhat. This is presumably due to some brain maturation and to our learning how to cope, getting strategies. For example, hyperactivity usually becomes less and manifests more as fidgeting.

Controversy O the Day:

There are some reports of adult onset ADHD but I have found no substantiating data and I do not believe it.  Almost by definition, we are born with ADHD.

Doug

 

Irrelevant Note O the Day:

I’m experimenting with different ways to post an image to facebook.  Maybe one of these will work.  I think perhaps demonic forces are working against me.

 

 

Link to specific data about ADHD brain

About brain imaging

Video on ADHD brain.

Life with ADHD

There Is a Solution to the Problem— ADHD Tip O the Day 848

My job put me up in a beautiful big old house. When I come in in the evening, and when I  leave in the morning, there are no lights. It is dark.  Very dark.  It is a big beautiful old house with a big beautiful staircase, which is dark as the pit. I’ve been very nervous going up and down the staircase in the dark, carrying two heavy bags.

Strategy: I suddenly realized I can just turn on my iPhone. Not even the flashlight, just the iPhone.That is already a habit, or maybe not even a habit. My anxiety on the dark staircase is the anchor, or the cue, for automatically using the iPhone. 

Problem solved.  

But this is really kind of silly, because once I realized it was A Problem, I could have easily just carried a small flashlight in my brief case.  That’s the real trick, acknowledging that it’s A Problem, not just one of the inevitable many small annoyances of life.

It would’ve been A Real Problem if I’d broken my leg.  Or my neck.

doug                               

 #ADHD

Odd Note O the Day:  You may be wondering why this is printed in such a strange format.  So am I.

ADHD decisions.

 

Another Way to Look At ADHD—ADHD Tip 0 the Day 847

There are many different ways to look at ADHD:

Some people deny that it exists. The fact that they have no idea what they are talking about does not deter them.

Some people say it is an executive dysfunction problem. I think that is one part of ADHD.

Some focus on the neurotransmitters (norepinephrine, dopamine), some on structure (basal ganglia, cerebellum), and some on networks (connecting amygdala, hippocampus, frontal cortex, cerebellum). I think it is all of these.

Some see it as a disease or disorder. Some see it as a variation of normal. Others see it as a gift. I am not one of those. I see it as a difference which, since it causes so many problems, is a disorder. I also believe there is an abrupt significant difference between us ADHDers and the vanillas, not just a gradual change on a curve.

Dr. William Dodson, an expert on ADHD who I highly respect, has a different view from mine, regarding the basic symptoms and dysfunctions:

“three defining features of ADHD emerge that explain every aspect of the condition:
1. an interest-based nervous system
2. emotional hyperarousal
3. rejection sensitivity”

from dr dodson  on the three main features of ADHD

More good Dr. Dodson links

I see ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder, highly genetic, present from conception, with differences in the networks, structures, and neurotransmitters. To me, the main issue is lack of control of focus, and that our “focus center” is not turned on in the same way as the vanillas. This basic feature causes a number of problems, which themselves cause other problems or symptoms, such as rejection sensitivity due to shame and low self-esteem, for example, which is caused by our frequent screwing up and the resulting criticism from others and from ourselves.

doug

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Sometimes it drives me up the wall. Or beyond.

What is it really, ADHD?

You think what about ADHD?

Can a Month Cause ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 846

Can A Month Matter in ADHD?

The research show that kids who are born in August have higher rates of ADHD than those born in September.
The strong implication is that starting school when you’re younger makes you susceptible to a diagnosis of ADHD. This makes sense, because you will be more immature than your classmates. Does your immature behavior cause you to get diagnosed with ADHD, or, do the social and intellectual difficulties you’re having cause you to behave in such a way that you get the diagnosis?  In either case, wouldn’t this likely be a misdiagnosis.
It is too easy to jump to conclusions. Maybe kids born in August have had higher exposure to certain viruses, or perhaps mothers pregnant in December had more or different infections? Or maybe there’s some other correlation?
But the implication of the effect of immaturity is probably valid. So I wonder how many of these kids were misdiagnosed because of their immaturity and did not actually have ADHD?  The study ended when the kids were between six and eight years old, so they might have outgrown their ADHD diagnosis.

I suspect that a good diagnostic evaluation would have differentiated those with true ADHD from those who were just immature and not behaving or performing appropriately.

I was always the youngest, or second youngest in my class. Before the fourth grade, I was average and nondescript. I clearly had symptoms of ADHD starting in the fourth grade., but not obviously before. That seems a little strange. After that I did well scholastically, and poorly behaviorally, no longer average nor nondescript. Til college, when I hit the brick wall scholastically.

Were you the youngest?

doug

Multiple Bonus Links:

• Pediatric Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Fast Five Quiz: Test Yourself on Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in Adults
• Fast Five Quiz: Do You Know the Signs, Symptoms, and Best Practices for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder?
• A 12-Year-Old Boy With Falling Grades and Behavior Problems in School and at Home

Treatment of ADHD in children

• ADHD and Age: Can a Month Really Matter?
• Prenatal Valproate Exposure May Boost ADHD Risk by Almost 50%
• ADHD

1.  Lavender’s Antianxiety Effects Nothing to Sniff At
2.  Childhood Infections May Trigger Mental Illness
3.  One-Time Cannabis Use May Alter Teen Brains
4.  ‘First Evidence’ Music Improves Brain Connectivity in Kids With Autism

V

• ADHD and Age: Can a Month Really Matter?

 @addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Children with ADHD tend to have problems in school. Duh.

Did your ADHD show early?

ADHD Strategies Work, Eventually — ADHD Tip O the Day 845

ADHD Medication Side Effects

I didn’t get much sleep tonight. Took a long time to realize I still had my Daytrana patch on.

One of the two side effects of the patch is that if I don’t take it off early enough I’ll have trouble sleeping. I’ve been working on this problem.

I’ve been using the strategy of setting my iPhone alarm for 5:10. Unfortunately, this hasn’t worked very well. When the alarm rings, instead of thinking, “Oh,  I have to take my patch off.“ I think “Oh, I have to turn the alarm off.“

But I improved the strategy. I set the alarm now for 5:10 and also for 5:15. Now when the 5:10 goe off, I’m somehow that the 5:15 is coming and that I need to take off the patch. That’s working.

Usually.

The Point: If you can identify that something is a problem, you can come up with a strategy.  If your first strategy doesn’t work, you can come up with another one.  Your life can be better.

Related Note:  The second side effect of the Daytrana patch is red welt where it was when you take it off.  Goes away in a day or two, doesn’t hurt, itch or burn, no problem.

doug

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

As I was saying -. What was I saying?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ram’s Comment—ADHD Tip O the Day 844

Repeating a good comment from Ram.  I do love the comments.

“I guess we’re all guilty of thinking about what could have been. I certainly am, as I dropped out of college to take the hard road of becoming a poorly paid pastry baker.
But then I think of what might have been, had I discovered my ADHD when I was in college – and had I stuck with it. I might’ve graduated and never have moved away from my homelandm to Germany, which would almost certainly make me end up with a dead-end job (which is so much the case in Portugal)
Instead I came to Germany. I suffered many years until I was diagnosed (jumped from job to job because I couldn’t stand people, went from one bad situation to the next one) but then I was diagnosed. I got a handle on me more than ever before and although I’m not 100% happy with my life, I got a grip on myself enough to try and change the things I can change.
My life might’ve been great. It might also have been worse. This is my reality now, the reality I have to live. And I strive to make the best of it. It’s all anyone can do. 🙂
As always, thanks for a lovely post.
Confession: I’m a bit tipsy. I had a strong beer with my dinner (don’t have to work tomorrow) and I’m enjoying my tipsyness. It usally makes want to hug the world! (more so than usual, anyway) 🙂”

Ram  is on a good path, making her life better. We grieve what we think could’ve been, but who knows? Occasional tipsy may be a good thing, recharging the brain if it doesn’t kill too many cells – I don’t know for sure.  If it makes you want to hug the world it’s probably good.

doug

Sad Story O the Day:

You may have read where I went  to get my car to drive to work and my battery was dead. I think I had shut the door on the seat belt.  So I had to take my wife’s car. That worked fine for me, not so good for her. So I drove to work, had a good day, came out to drive home. Got in my wife’s car.  The battery was dead.

I was unfamiliar with her car’s control system and possibly I’d left the lights on. But knowing I have ADHD, I’d done the smart thing and after I got out, I’d turned around and looked at the car to make sure none of the lights were on. Still, it’s possible.

Two dead batteries in one day. That may be some kind of record, even with ADHD.

Quote O the Day:

Oh, crap!

Yes, that’s right, ADHD.

 

Reply

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Bee Gee, on Older with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 843

Bee Gee Diagnosed at 68! Wow! I feel I’d love to talk to this person… being 51 and eagerly awaiting diagnosis it occurs to me that perhaps there are a few positives with late diagnosis. Sure we have all heard about the grief over lost opportunity “what I could have been if someone had recognised this in me”.. but a distinct positive has started to crystallise for me…. perhaps not being diagnosed meant that we clumsily found our own expert solutions to help us navigate the world without having the label of ‘broken’…

two and a half weeks ago I read something about adult ADHD in women… I’ve been reading ever since… talking to people and learning so much about myself… I felt at first elated, then broken, then confused over recent weeks. … so ‘broken’ is part of being self identified as ADHD.. and I imagine is a big part of it for many people… so perhaps those of us who are diagnosed late in life have a special role in communicating how it feels to be an ADHD person… because we now have the comparison of “what I thought I was” vs “what I have realised I am like”… and perhaps with that experiential distinction as an adult we are better equipped to point to strengths and solutions rather than labels and deficits …    

Doug Puryear bee gee – you have many good points here. we do need to grieve the lost possibilities, but not spend much time or energy on it. I don’t think it as broken, but different in a way that makes life harder. and yes, I had many strategies before I ever knew I had ADHD or that they were strategies. and I think getting the right diagnosis, even if its ‘at last’ is a great thing.

Bee Gee For me it has meant that I have a reason..when I do those little things which I know are rude.. drifting off, interrupting etc. a few years back when I thought my cognitive difficulties were due to inflammation from auto immune stuff I turned up to have my hearing tested. I had made the appointment that morning and had been given the address and directions over the phone. The address was in a street I know very well in a suburb I have lived in for most of my life. when I arrived there was no record of the appointment. There was discussion about ringing and booking so she phoned her bookings person and they said they hadn’t spoken to me or booked me in. I was feeling really like I was in the twilight zone.She asked to see my referral.. the referral was for a different place … when I was given instructions about where the place was my mind leapt to ‘know already, don’t need to listen’ and told me that it was the place my dad went to to get his hearing aid… it wasn’t. Silly me.

Anyway those mind thwarting moments of being sure but being wrong which I had gotten used to continued and always seemed worse when having an RA flare. it is only since a friend told me she had just been diagnosed with adult ADHD and she explained how it is often missed in girls and why that I started to really go through my life and look at it through this lens. I recognised so much of myself. Every new bit of information seemed to colour in the detail of my vague life. I’ve now realised that what happened was I built some very successful skills to mask and deal with the ADHD but when I got sick those tricks and work around started to fail. I know this because these same little things used to happen a lot when I was little and right up until my teens… but I guess I just thought I was really misunderstood and/or teachers, parents, other kids were just being mean.

Doug Puryear bee gee. that sounds just right. would it be ok with you if I posted these comments on the ADHD blog? they would be good.

Bee Gee  sure

An Autobiography: Life with ADHD.

Thanks, Bee Gee.

doug

   @thebullyonline #bully #bullying #thebullyonline

Quote O the Day:

“Where is my phone?
Oh, there it is. Thank you, honey.
Now, where is my wallet?
Ah, I found it!
Now, where’s my phone?”

 

I Don’t Get It!— ADHD O the Day 842

Isn’t technology wonderful?

If you have recently subscribed to this ADHD blog, you are most welcome here. I hope you will find it useful and enjoyable. And I hope you will make comments. I love the comments.

But:
I’m no longer sending individual welcoming messages, because I’ve suddenly been flooded with new subscriptions. At first, I was delighted, but I quickly realized that they were fake. Spam.

Question O the Day number one:

What in the hell is going on?

The links below give some information, but I don’t totally understand them.  That’s nothing new.

Apparently, this has been happening for some years. I was totally unaware. (I recently wrote a pretty good song- “We’re over the hill, out of the loop, and our warranty has expired.”)

Strategy:

Don’t believe everything you read. Especially these days, when lying has become routine, facts no longer matter, and half the posts on Facebook are from the Russians.

Question O the Day number two:

What are they getting out of this?

Question O the Day number three:

Do you think having ADHD makes us more naïve, gullible, vulnerable, and susceptible to scams?

Quote O the Day:
Trust everyone and always shuffle the deck.

Links:

Spam     from Margret

Spam sign-ups

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

What?

 

 

I do not appreciate it

An ADHD Christmas — ADHD Tip O the Day 841

I wish you each a very Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, and whatever else you may wish to celebrate, and a very blessed, joyous, productive, low stress new year.

People ask me, “Are you ready for Christmas?”  I always reply, “I am never ready for Christmas.”

But actually, I am ready this year. No more shopping on December 24.

I suggest next year you buy your Christmas presents in November.

And that when you unwrap your presents, carefully keep notes of who sent what so you can thank them, and also so that you may return the things you want to return.

And try to use moderation in your eating and drinking. I have noticed that moderation in my drinking is essential to keeping moderation in my eating.

I am hoping to keep my weight gain to 6 pounds. I can lose 6 pounds in two months. I can gain 6 pounds in one evening.

Thank you for your support this year and keep the comments coming.

Best wishes

Doug

Bonus Link for Christmas

Procrastination

Santa’s addicted. too.

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Technologically challenged. Isn’t that part of ADHD? – – – ADHD Tip O the Day 840

With ADHD comes a lot of challenges – geographical, legibility , technology,—.

I had an iPhone 6. The screen was cracked, but I was used to that. Charging was slow and it didn’t hold a charge well, especially with my music, although the readout said the battery was 85% healthy.

I indulged myself and got a new 8. I soon had a problem. It wouldn’t ring when someone called me and wouldn’t give the swoosh sound when I sent a message.

I spent a long time last night trying to fix this. I googled the problem and found some solutions. I made adjustments in notifications  and in sounds and in the mail folder. I finally got it to vibrate.

That was not good enough, so I called Verizon tech today. The gentleman spent a lot of time patiently going through all the different settings with me. The result of this was that it not only didn’t ring or swoosh, it also no longer vibrated. No indication that I was getting a call or sending an email.

I was either going to have to follow his suggestion and call back and get a higher ranked tech, or was going to have to drive to the Verizon store and try to find an associate who could fix it for me. Either seemed a time-consuming hassle.

There is a sound control switch on the side of the phone. It silences the ringers and other sounds and you just get vibration as a signal. This is good for when you’re in church or at the movies, for example. You push it down to silence the phone and there is a little orange patch that shows you it’s on silent. You push it up to get the sound back on when you leave the church or the movies, if you can remember to.

In my spare time, I googled again, putting in a different phrase.

Well, turns out, that’s the way it was on the 6. On the 8, just the opposite. And no color indicator of which setting it’s in. I had it turned off.

Wish I had found that out sooner. Anyway, it’s working now.

And that, folks, is life with ADHD and technological challenge.

Doug

PS: The volume buttons on the 8 are hard to use. And it has no jack for headphones. You have to buy a separate attachment for headphones, and then you can’t charge it and use headphones at the same time. That’s what I used to do while driving when I had my 6.  But it charges fast and holds a charge longer. There is no other benefit I’ve found yet. Well, the screen is not cracked, yet.

yes, that’s right, ADHD.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Traveling with ADHD. Oh, My. — ADHD Tip O the Day 839

This ADHD post is too long. As you’ll see, that’s kind of the point.

We flew from Santa Fe to Dallas to visit our new foster great-grandchild. Yay!

But:

Checking in, I left one of our bags at the security checkpoint. We nearly left without it except I thought maybe I heard my name called.  But when I went over, they were calling  “ Burger. Burger,” so I told them the bag wasn’t ours. They couldn’t read my printing on the tag. It was Puryear, not Burger. But we got the bag.

The flight was OK. We got turned around in the Dallas airport and couldn’t find baggage claim. By the time we got there, all the passengers and bags were gone. Then I saw our bag sitting in the airline office. I went in and said, “This is ours,“ and walked off with it. No questions, no ID. Nothing.

Then we had a long cold walk with our bags, outside the building, to the pick up area for the rental car shuttle.  Then we waited. Then the shuttle took us on a very long ride to the office. No problems there. We had a  very very very long ride to get out of the airport, which is huge. Then a long slow drive target to our granddaughter’s house, partly because it was raining.  Bumper to bumper. Slow.

Trip back was similar in reverse, but less so.

Now to get to the point. We’d flown from Santa Fe because it’s more convenient. It saves the hour’s drive to Albuquerque to get Southwestern and fly into Love Field, which is close to our granddaughter’s house. And the hour back to Santa Fe. As it turned out, it probably took us over two hours extra doing it this way, and a lot more frustration.

Long trip, long post.

Strategies:
1. Always count all of your bags at every transition.
2. Always research your travel plans and see that they make sense, that you have chosen the best options.
3. Consider trying to avoid flying in the first place. With all the hassles, with security and lines, it’s clear that bin Laden won.

4. Oh, and make sure your bags have a tag with your name legible.

Doug

Link: What Living with ADHD is Like

 

Addadultstrategies.wordpress.com

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Life with ADHD.

ADHD decisions.

It’s Always Something – – – ADHD Tip O the Day 838

It’s Always Something – Especially with ADHD

I made today’s today to do list last night:

Breakfast. Quiet time. Walk dog. Gym. Shower. Lunch. Library. Work on 365 book. This blog. Fill in December calendar. Practice guitar. Refresh aquarium. Figure out what two thumb drives are.

I knew that was more than possible, but thought I could probably do most of it, and I was determined not to push myself, pressure myself, or get in a hurry.

Slogan: You can only do what you can do.

Then my wife bumped a post in the parking space and showed me a hand sized piece of black plastic off her car. She didn’t know where from.

Nothing on the piece looked broken, so we thought maybe I could fix it (Me? “Thumbs” Puryear?) So I bundled up and went out to the car.
Of course, I couldn’t find where it came from. Everything looked intact. Both sides looked the same. Got down on my hands and knees and checked everywhere with my flashlight.  All intact. But finally I found it, on the underside of the big right hand outside rearview mirror.

I took a couple of minutes to see how it fit in there. I took a lot more minutes to finally get this son of a gun to click into place. It took a little bit of brute force, but more finesse, not one of my strong points. But I got it. I was pleased and even my wife was pleased. Saved a trip to the shop. Sometimes I am so good I surprise myself.

But of course, my list is shot to hell.

Strategies (some of which I did not use.)
1. Keep the to-do list short and not more than you can reasonably expect to do.
2. If you don’t follow number one, accept that you’re not going to get it all done and don’t worry about it.
3. When you’re making your to-do list or schedule, figure in time for the unexpected. You can expect it.

This all worked out OK. I’m getting the blog done, as we speak. I scored points with my wife and I was pleased with myself for being able to fix the car.

It’s always something.

doug

Follow-up Note O the Day:

 While I was in the middle of this blog, my wife urgently called me to the living room. She said it couldn’t wait. Found she needed help with the crossword puzzle. It was a hard one, but we got it done. Again, I was pleased with myself. But my coffee was cold when I got back.

Quote O the Day:

“It’s always something.”
Rosanna Rosanna Danna

Which one is ADHD?

It would sure help.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Link O the Day: To do list

Apologies and a Plan — ADHD Tip O the Day 837

Living with ADHD can be a challenge.

OK, I’m a little behind on my blogs. OK, I’m a lot behind.
I have a new job and that takes up some time even though it’s part time.

Strangely, I haven’t been making the big screw ups that I’ve been posting about in the past and so haven’t been developing new strategies, and therefore have less to write about. Also, although I’m trying to keep up with the ADHD science and the ADHD medications, there doesn’t seem to be any real breakthrough in recent years.

Oh, wait.  I did run over my suitcase.  Have only done that once, so far.

Also busy updating the 365 Tips O the Day book. Or at least thinking about it. It will be in both ebook and print editions, not just an e-book like now. I have a list of the posts that I want to replace and a list of the new posts I want to replace them with, but I’m stuck. Procrastinating. Primarily because I’m not confident that I can do it or do it well. And it seems like a lot of work. Those are the usual causes of my procrastination.

I do have some strategies.

First, I’m going to pick a date (you may notice that I haven’t done that yet) to do just one of the posts and I know that will break the log jam and I can get moving on it.

Secondly, I ’m lining up some outstanding people to do some guest blogs. That will lighten my load and give my loyal readers a change of pace.

doug

Wish O the Day:  Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving (although I know that family can be a bit challenging at times. Even without ADHD.)

Link O the Day: Brian’s old now extinct blog with lots of good stuff still on it.

Bonus Link O the Day:  Brian now has a new blog, for writers.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

And I’ll get to them soon.

 

New Research on ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 836

ADHD Research

I try to keep current on the ADHD research and to keep you current.

1. Some of the latest research just confirms previous findings. ADHD diagnosed in childhood persists in up to 65% of adolescents and up to 50% of adults. Hyperactivity and impulsivity become less with time, but inattention symptoms remain stable. Still, we do jiggle our foot or tap our pencil.
Many factors increase the risk that symptoms will continue into adolescence but only a few of those predict continuation into adulthood: symptom severity, psychiatric comorbidity and parental mental health.
Some adults no longer meet criteria for the diagnosis and yet have continuing problems related to ADHD.
Those of us who still have diagnosable ADHD do worse than those who no longer meet criteria but still have symptoms, and we all do worse than adults who never had the diagnosis.
We have poorer educational and occupational success, more depression and anxiety,  and use more marijuana and more public assistance. However, this study, in contrast to previous ones, found no significant difference in other substance use disorders or legal outcomes. I’m doubtful about this. For example, I know that a high percentage of people in prison have ADHD.

Finally, this study raised some interesting questions. How much were the poor outcomes directly caused by ADHD symptoms, versus by the effects of the consequences of the symptoms, such as doing poorly in school, early substance abuse or legal problems, getting involved with the wrong crowd? Interesting, but maybe not highly relevant.

Note that replication is the way research works. One study is not very important until its findings are replicated by other studies done by other people.

2. A disturbing article suggests that high levels of prenatal fluoride can contribute to children developing ADHD. They emphasize that this is only one study and it would have to be replicated and that genetics still play a large role.

I’m still a fan of fluoridation but if you’re pregnant or going to be, you need to be aware of the levels of fluoride in your drinking water. These vary widely among communities. And be careful about your toothpaste.

3. In 8% of children, elimination of certain foods, additives, and coloring improved ADHD symptoms. However, results were not confirmed by teachers and outside observers and applying these measures can be difficult and expensive.
A meta-study, a study of studies, showed that an elimination diet, taking away almost all foods and then restarting them one by one, can give over 40% symptom reduction in about 1/3 of children with ADHD. However, it was noted that these studies were not well done and should be viewed with caution.
Fish oil (omega-3 fatty acid, with EPA percent greater than DHEA percent) and micronutrients have been found to be slightly helpful in general.
Overall, the studies suggest that difficult major dietary interventions can have moderate benefit in a small minority of children with ADHD.  I suspect that these findings would apply to adults, but I’ve found no studies of this yet, just a lot of suggestions.

• Micronutrients: boron (B), chlorine (Cl), copper (Cu), iron (Fe), manganese (Mn), molybdenum (Mo), and zinc (Zn).

4. There is increasing misuse of stimulants among college students, primarily for improving cognition. Again, studies show that this does not actually work for people without ADHD, although it gives them the impression that they’re doing better than they are. Stimulant misuse is correlated with poor academic functioning.

Well, that’s the update.

doug

Question O the Day: Does anyone know of studies of these things applying to adults?  I haven’t researched it thoroughly. Your help would be appreciated.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

When will I grow up?

Adulthood, anyone?

Links:

Diet

Sugar

Pay Attention—ADHD Month- ADHD Tip O the Day 835

October is ADHD recognition month.

We have two tasks: To learn as much as we can about ADHD, and to try to educate the general public. You may have noticed that the general public is not clamoring for more knowledge about ADHD. They already have their opinions and know all they want to know, even when it is wrong.

Here are links about things going on in the ADHD world this month:

ADHD

ADHD

ADHD

ADHD

ADHD

ADHD

doug

Quote o the Day:

If ignorance is bliss, why are there so many unhappy people?

Strategy: Trying to convince someone whose mind is already made up is like trying to give medicine to a person who is already dead.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

ADHD is the explanation.

Sucess At Last, Even with ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 834

Problem: ADHD images on the post weren’t coming out right on Facebook.

Solution:  Dinos very generously showed me how to fix them, but the process was very complicated.  I kept avoiding the job. For a very long time.

But — then I committed to getting it done this week.

Outcome:

OK, so I said I would finally get to the images.  And I did it. And the process is not as hard as I thought.  I was putting extra unnecessary steps into it.

So I have run one test picture on facebook and it seemed to work, although not quite the way I expected.

I plan to run all images thru this process as I go, so it won’t be a such a huge job.

Let’s see how this post turns out.

The strategy: Make a commitment to do something at a specific time, make it public, don’t let yourself do anything else instead.  Get it done.

doug

Back up strategy: If this doesn’t work, I plan to scream, bang my head against the wall since I have no hair to tear out, and start the cocktail hour early today.  It’s always good to have a backup strategy.

 

Huh?

 

 

I don’t have ADHD!

This Is Embarrassing — ADHD Tip O the Day 833

With ADHD We Get Embarrassed a Lot (Plus I often embarrass my wife)

I’ve written frequently that I was going to fix my images so that they showed up properly on Facebook.  And a very kind follower showed me how to fix them.

It’s very embarrassing that I don’t remember my rescuer’s name and I can’t find it. Anyway, I am appreciative.

Posting that I was going to do it was a strategy.  So that it would be embarrassing if I didn’t.

Well, I haven’t and it is.

I definitely want them done.  That is not the same as wanting to do them, though.

Reasons for Procrastinating:

1. I’m not actually sure that I can do them.  I tried to use the method.  Sometimes it worked.  Sometimes it didn’t

2 The method is complicated so that it takes time and effort.  I feel like I don’t have the time. Obviously, that’s just an issue of priorities.  With ADHD we are not good at prioritizing.

3. Since it’s complicated, I always feel like there has to be a simpler way, and that I’m wasting time doing it this way.  I hate wasting time.

But I’m tired of having this hanging over my head, and I do want the images to be right.

Strategy:

I have Wednesday afternoon, and all day Thursday, Friday and Saturday off next week.  I am committing to not do any other tasks until I get this one done.

The ADHD strategy of one.

Plus, I think once I get into it and get familiar with the process it won’t be nearly so hard.  Hoping.

We’ll see.

doug

Strategy: The basic strategy for procrastination is small steps, but I don’t see how to apply that here.  Maybe plan to do just one picture, but that isn’t the issue; the issue is using the technique.

Link:

Procrastination

Procrastination 2

Bonus Links:

Trouble Making Decisions? from Attitude Magazine

What Does This Link Have To Do With ADHD?  Nothing, it’s just my favorite Song O the Day.  Maybe of all time.  And it’s worth reading the comments.  Enjoy!

The Power of One

Update O the day:

Dinos very generously got in touch after this post and again offered his help.

Maybe later?

 

Working with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 832

I love my new job, but I’m struggling with the EHR, electronic health record system, on the computer. This is the sixth different I’ve have had to use. They’ve ranged from horrible to bad. This one is the least bad.

The two main problems are, first, using an EHR, and second, limited time.

The EHR requires me to gather all the data and fill in all the boxes on the forms on the computer. (Plus several paper forms to fill out.)  So I need to be typing during the patient’s appointment. There’s no other time to do it.

Sometimes I feel like I’m treating the computer and not the patient, or that the computer is more important than the patient. I do not care for this.

What does this have to do with ADHD?  As difficult as this is, ADHD only makes it harder. I’m using several strategies:

1. I need to keep my desk organized. I need the same types of papers in the same pile all of the time. Otherwise my desktop becomes a cluttered mess and I waste a lot of time trying to find the paper I want.

2. I use colored clips. For example, I put a red clip on the top of my daily schedule. That way, I don’t lose it in the papers.

 

3. I try to complete everything about each case before moving to the next, even if I’m behind. This can work hardship on patients that are waiting, but it reduces the stress on me and therefore lets me work more efficiently, and I don’t have to try to rely on my memory later.

 

4. If they’re just isn’t enough time to deal with an issue, I can reschedule the patient to return and can request more time for the second appointment if necessary. This also may be a hardship on the patient, but they will be getting better care.

 

5. I review all the records before I see the patient. This may put me behind, but it makes me more efficient.

You’ll recognize these strategies: organize, reduce stress, use colors, the rule of one, and the principle that every problem has a solution.

doug

ADHD Pearl O the Day:

With ADHD, we need a job that is interesting, has structure but always has something different.  So this job, with a schedule and so many different patients is perfect for me.

 

Confessions O the Day:

1. I do feel guilty when I find myself praying that some patient won’t show up so that I can catch up.
2. I must admit I’ve found something addictive about waiting for an order from Amazon to arrive.

Link:

How to Be Successful

Best ADHD Jobs, the full discussion

List of Good ADHD Jobs

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

I do better without a “boss.”

ADHD Jokes — ADHD Tip O the Day 831

ADHD Jokes O the Day:

1. A guy with ADHD walks into a bar – – –

Oops, I forgot the punch line.

 2. A guy with ADHD and dyslexia walks into a rab.

3. An uncoordinated guy with ADHD walks into a bar.

Of course.

doug

Strategy  O the Day:

If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.  Start off each day with a laugh and you’ll feel better.

Irrelevant Note O the Day

My doctor told me to eat more protein, and I’ve been doing very well at that.  But I just realized that she meant instead of, not in addition to.

Links:

If your brain was a bus, who would be driving?

coaching site

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Life with ADHD

Surviving with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 830

ADHD has many clever ways to get you.

With ADHD, it isn’t hard to get stuck, or paralyzed, or stagnant, or overwhelmed, or demoralized.  Or some combination of those boogers.  But there are many good strategies that usually work to get us out of those pits.

But some days, we aren’t in a pit, we just don’t have it.  Some days are like that. There are many things that can cause that, or sometimes, seemingly nothing.

One strategy is, give yourself a break.  OK, this a day where I’m gonna coast and try to just get through.  Yes, there are things I need to get done, and yes, the pile will be higher tomorrow, but I just don’t have it today, so that’s just the way it’s gonna be.

Second strategy: So quit pushing the wall, beating yourself up, fretting.  If the day is gonna be like that, then just relax and make the best of it.

Quote O the Day
“Some days just surviving is a triumph.”
I just made that up

Question O the Day:  Does that seem like surrendering, giving up, being a weak wimp?  Or is it one way of coping and facing reality?

Poem O the Day
The desert never tastes quite as good
as you had imagined it would.

Link:

On coping with ADHD – cause that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Inane Comment O the Day: I really do need to find the time to work on images and get them where they fit into facebook correctly.  Well, not today.

Moderate OCD actually helps in ADHD

 

 

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

A Bad Habit — ADHD Tip O the Day 829

I have a bad habit. No, it’s not sexual, no matter what you may have been imagining. Still, it’s too embarrassing to tell you. It’s just a bad habit which causes me some discomfort. I don’t like it.

I’ve tried many strategies to stop it. None of them have worked.

Recently, I realize that there’s an antecedent. There was something I did every time just before I did the bad habit, and I never did bad habit without doing the antecedent first. I started spotting the antecedent. Every time the antecedent began, I said, “Antecedent!”  Then I stopped doing it.

I have stopped the bad habit. Pretty much.

The Tip:  When one strategy doesn’t work, try another one.

doug

Links:

Using spotting to change a habit. 

Changing habits

The 21 day habit myth

Bonus Link:

ADHD and marriage, or relationship.  (Is anyone getting married anymore?)

 

Anyone can make a mistake, we just do it more often.

Addadultstrategies.wordpress.com

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

ADHD Solutions— ADHD Tip O the Day 828

ADHD causes us many problems.  Life can be hard.

I believe that every problem has a solution. I know this isn’t  100% true, but it’s very useful to act as though it were. I’ve come up with some new examples.

ADHD Problems:
1. I often find myself without a pen, and that’s really frustrating. I make a lot of notes. If I have a pen.

2. I still carry my appointment book and my cards in my shirt pocket, always. Yes, I do have an iPhone. I love it, and use it for many things, but not for my appointments or my to-do list. I’m just old-fashioned.

But two of my shirts have large pockets. When I bend over, my book and cards fall out. That is unpleasant.

3. In my new job, I often need to carry confidential papers down the hall. There’s a bathroom halfway down and sometimes it’s convenient to stop in there.  If I’m carrying papers, I put them on the counter. Of course, I frequently forget to take them with me when I leave. Leaving confidential papers on the counter where anyone could get them is not good.

Solutions:
1. and 2.  If I clip a pen into the front of my shirt pocket instead of behind the card and appointment book, I’ll be aware of whether I have one or not. And it stops things from falling out. One solution to two problems! Great!

3. When I go into the bathroom, I put whatever I’m carrying on the floor just in front of the door. There’s no way I can miss it when I go out. Simple.

Note the difference between using the strategy and just trying harder to not forget the papers. In fact, I did that.  It didn’t work.

The ADHD principle:

Problem, strategy, rule, habit.

So I need to keep doing these things until they do become habit. Then I don’t have to think about them, don’t have to remember them, and the problem is solved.

First, of course, we have to recognize that something is a problem, not just the way life is. Then our life can be better. 

doug

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Bonus Link:

Just for a laugh

Many, many ADHD links

Life with ADHD

True, even without ADHD.

Ways To Live With ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 827

I find that I don’t have new tips and strategies recently, because somehow, I’m not screwing up.
I find that I am, without a plan, strategy, or intention, doublechecking everything.

I ask:
How could this go wrong? Did I really do it right? Will I be able to read it later? Do they really have our reservation?
How could it fall off or get knocked off?
Check and question, and then check it again. But then here’s the trick, I’m checking again, the third time. This seems to be working pretty well.
However, it seems to me very much a sign of aging. Young people just don’t have the time or energy or inclination to live like this. They just blaze ahead full speed.
But I think I’m  probably more effective this way.  The time spent checking and rechecking is less than the time it would take to do it over or to clean up the mess.  And it’s just nice to not be always screwing up.
Anyway, that’s what I’m doing, and it seems to be working.

Still, I need to see what my wife will comment on this.

doug

Bonus Link

The Wisdom of Rick Green – Living with ADHD

Irrelevant Note O the Day:

My doctor told me to eat more protein, and I’ve been doing very well at that.  But I just realized that she meant instead of, not in addition to.

Personal Note O the Day:

I’m considering making a new agenda:  Don’t make any more agendas.

@dougmkpdp #adhd

Or is it ADHD?

This should work.

Can I Relax, with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 826

On vacation again, but I haven’t relaxed yet.  Travel arrangements, glitches to fix, reservations to make, finding my way around the city.  Hard work.

I recently wrote about vacation in Oaxaca, but didn’t post it.  Kept getting lost there, in spite of GPS and maps and compass.  Usually I do OK with those, in spite of having no sense of direction at all.  But the map was “wrong” and the compass and the GPS seemed at odds.  Very tiring wandering around in circles in a strange city, especially with your wife getting increasingly frustrated with you.

Now doing much better in Halifax on this vacation.  The maps seem correct.  But the main thing is I can keep track of where the river is and work off that.  It’s like in Santa Fe, where you can usually see the mountains, and they are always to the east.

That’s my main strategy, to have a visible landmark to work from.

Wish I could relax, but the flywheel and the to do list keep going, as well as the added travel stuff above.  Strategy is to find a good place to just sit for a while, but I both haven’t been able to find a place and haven’t been able to get myself to really try yet.

Part of the problem is I haven’t been able to resolve the conflict between vacation as a time to relax vs vacation as time to catch up so life will be easier when I get back.

Maybe I’ll just sit here at this desk when I finish this post and cross it off the to do list.

But I’m in the middle of a good book.  That’s not working, but it’s not really relaxing either.

We’ll see.

doug

@adhd, @dougmkdp

 

ADHD Author??? Getting It Done— ADHD Tip O the Day 825

When I published the second ADHD book, the 365 tips of the day, it was only as an e-book. This was partly because each page had wonderful links to other good site. However, with time, many of those links are no longer operable. That certainly detracts from the book. Besides, I’ve wanted to have a print edition as well. So I’m re-doing it. I’ve finished the first total review, I’ve done editing and identified the pages that are weak. I’ve deleted all the links. My next review will insert better tips for the weak pages.  Then I’ll do a third review, editing everything again. Hopefully, that will be enough.

Tip number one: organize. Break the project into parts, don’t think of it as the whole or try to do it all at once.

Tip number two: remember, nothing is permanent, everything changes. For example, do not buy stocks in a buggy whip company.

The book is meant to be read one page a day, for 365 days. But, I have more good tips than that and so I am adding extras.

Tip number three: do not accept unnecessary limitations.

Just before this, I finally finished my autobiography. Many, many drafts. But I ran out of gas and I just quit and published it. The point is, it’s  really only for my descendants, not to make sales. Therefore, the many errors that remain don’t matter much. And it’s finally published and not hanging over my head anymore.

Tip number four: Sometimes, good enough is good enough.

My fourth book, The Bully, I also got fed up with and published before it was ready. It needed another draft, or two, or three. But I was tired of it. I may go back and revise it, some day. Or not. But it was for the general public, to educate people about bullies. And so that may be worth doing.

Tip number five: Sometimes, you do need to push for improvement, although never for perfection.

Tip number six: Even with ADHD, it is possible to be an author. It’s just not very easy.

Doug

Bonus Tip O the Day:

It’s hard to get myself to write these posts when I’m on vacation, but I do try to keep up. It’s easier if I dictate them into my phone and email them to myself. I’m able to fool myself into feeling that it’s not as much work.

Sometimes it feels like this.

 

 

I thought I couldn’t get any pictures off my lap top

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lessons learned while living with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 824

Lessons Learned- and relearned

If I can’t find my glasses, look on my face first.

If I can’t sleep, check to make sure I took off my Daytrana patch.

It always takes longer than you expected.

There is no easy way to write a book.

Finances

Addendum to finances :  cut up all your credit cards.

doug

Living with ADHD

Bonus Link:  A great strategy for not breaking wine glasses.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Jennie on Understanding People with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 823

I asked Jennie to do a guest ADHD post and she really came through:

If Only You Could See in ADHD

I began ADHD Coaching after learning of my sister’s diagnosis. Let me start by explaining that indeed, she and I have not been the closest of siblings, much to our mother’s chagrin.

Until I was 10, she and I had matching outfits and were always given the same presents at Christmas. If I got the red one, Sis got the blue one. Actually, I always got blue and she got red, but I digress.

Mom tried everything she could to keep us close, but I think, as many a big sister, I rebelled and wanted to be my own person. Plus, having to have her always tag along was a drag.

Why? Because she was SO different from me.

She would talk incessantly. In fact, her nick name growing up was “Molly-Motor-Mouth.” It was as if every thought in her head had to come out, even if no one cared to listen.

She also used to kiss my parents’ butt, which drove me insane! To call her a people pleaser is an enormous understatement. Of course, you can imagine her telling on me would drive me nuts, and that happened a lot. Nothing unusual about that. But it was also her trying to please me when all I wanted was to be left alone that was completely annoying.

There was the time she went sledding with me and my friends and not paying attention, as usual, she ended up in the creek. Or the time she didn’t get off the wobble horse at the park when a swarm of bees descended upon us. She was in bad, bad shape with tons of bee stings.

Had she paid attention and kept up with us, I don’t know how many incidences she would’ve been spared. But I was always the one who got blamed for these “mishaps”. So, there you go. I’ve spent my whole life painted the mean big sister, because, I know, this sounds so terrible of me. How could I have been so cold?

Well, I didn’t understand what I was dealing with. And worse, she didn’t understand either. It always seemed like something she could have controlled but just didn’t.

In Middle School she began having panic attacks. My parents never spoke to me about it and so again, it just seemed like more weird behaviors that she just “got away with”. She missed a lot of school!

Fast forward thirty years and here we are. In training to coach this specific population, I’ve learned a lot about the brain through my undergrad studies, earning my Bachelor’s of Science on Psychology.

I went on to graduate from ADDCA, The ADD Coach Academy where I learned specifically about ADHD exclusively from folks that have all been diagnosed with it. I I like to say the former taught me about ADHD from the outside looking in and the latter gave me lessons from the inside view.

And that’s what I want to share with the world. I’ve learned, as someone without ADHD, to get it, to see in ADHD.

My sister’s gabbiness is because she verbally processes information. Her tendency to drop everything in her life in order to help a friend, isn’t people pleasing out of innate insecurity. It’s more that she has challenges with boundaries and impulsivity as well as she doesn’t think ahead to potential consequences. Plus, she’s just the most loyal person you’ll ever meet.

And her anxiety is due to the design of her nervous system, not because she’s lazy or trying to get out of responsibilities.

So, again, how could I have been so cold?

Next time you find yourself feeling misunderstood, maybe share what ADHD is all about. When Doug asked me to write a guest post, I was excited to share a free resource I’ve created. It’s a free app in the app store with direct access to my podcast called See in ADHD.

I want everyone to learn as I did and see what’s really going on. That way we can lose the judgement and get to the business of just loving one another.

I think this ran long, Doug, feel free to edit as you see fit.

Thanks again for the opportunity to share my voice.

I mentioned the app so you don’t need to worry about links.

Unless you want to through in somewhere my website is www.seeinadhd.com and email is jennie@seeinadhd.com

Best,

Jennie

I liked it so much I decided to just post the whole thing and not do any editing, not that any was really needed. Jennie is a great ADHD resource. My only other comment is, Jennie, if you are still beating up on yourself (“cold”) maybe it’s time to let up on yourself. You were a kid and you had no way to know and now you are providing a service to all of us ADHDers.  So how about at least calling it even?
Thank you so much for all you do and for this post.
doug

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Oh, my! Did I do it again?

Comments About ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 822

Do you read the comments?  I hope so.  They are often better than the post.  And contributing  upgrades the blog.

Here’s two of my responses to good comments: 

Scott
Good to hear from you.
The boating sounds great. Two things, non medication, that can be really helpful with our ADHD symptoms are exercise and getting out of doors – you’ve made a good combination. I need to get myself to go fishing more often -unfortunately we are in a drought which limits it anyway.
My little voice is enormously helpful, and I am working on getting myself to listen to it more – I still make the mistake of ignoring it, often to my regret. But sometimes it says, “Don’t say that!” a second after I’ve already said it.
I think for most people the exercise is a great help but not a substitute for medications, it’s a supplement to them. Still, for some people it may be enough help by itself.
Hope you and jm read each others comments – they support each other.
As always, I appreciate your commenting
doug

JM very good comment.

There are many things that can look like ADHD but I think a careful professional evaluation can make the correct diagnosis – at least if the professional really knows about ADHD. But I also think a knowledgeable layperson can often tell if it’s not ADHD, as you have done about your manager.

Everyone has their own individual response to any kind of medication. And the ADHD medications are not for everyone. I would guess that the hyper people you describe may not actually have ADHD, but who knows? Your experience with meds, like mine, is much more typical.

“Huge misconceptions” may be underestimating it!

doug

Personal Note O the Day:

I just finished my autobiography after four long years.  Published the 44th draft, which is a mess, but I couldn’t get motivated to do anymore. It’s for my descendants, hoping that at least some of them will be interested.  I would’ve loved to have something from my ancestors.  Now, hopefully, I’ll have more time to keep up better with this blog.

Question O the Day:

Do you read the comments on these posts?       

Follow up O the Day:

Science update:  Children with ADHD who receive medication are less likely to abuse drugs than those who don’t.

This should work.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Update on ADHD Science and Controversies- ADHD Tip O the Day 821

Controversies in ADHD

In my opinion, science can be flawed, but it is more trustworthy than opinions. In the following, my opinions are italicized.

1.  There really is no controversy about whether or not ADHD exists.  There are more and more studies showing differences in our brains – connections to frontal lobe; basal ganglia; cerebellum.  Dopamine, norepinephrine.  And genes that predispose to ADHD.                                                                                                                                                   
2. There are people who have the opinion that ADHD doesn’t exit.  There are people who believe that the earth is flat.  Or that vaccinations cause autism.  Or that – I started to get into politics here, probably not appropriate.  But when have I ever been appropriate?  But this time, I did listen to the little voice.  This time.                                                   

I wouldn’t be surprised if  there are more varieties of ADHD, beyond hyperactive, inattentive , and mixed.  Based on different sets of genes, and maybe other things.

2.  Studies show that stimulants do not help with studying in vanillas, just make the students think they did better on the test than they actually did.  But some recent studies show they do help.

Who knows?  I lean to the first concept, although that may be wishful thinking.

3. Some studies show that treatment with stimulants have no long term benefits for ADHD.

But clearly with ADHD we have more accidents, substance abuse, divorces, arrests, and these are reduced by stimulant.  The difference in percentage is very significant.  How could they not have long term benefit?  If you are alive, sober and not incarcerated, that seems pretty beneficial.

4.  Some studies are suggesting that a small percentage of ADHDers are adult onset.  But Further evaluation show that most of those people are having ADHD symptoms from other causes – substance abuse, traumatic brain damage, anxiety and stress, thyroid disease and others.

I think by definition ADHD starts at conception. It’s a  neurodevelopmental disorder.  Other factors may make it less severe or worse.  Sometimes the symptoms aren’t revealed until things get hard – I had obvious symptoms beginning in fourth grade, but had no scholastic difficulty until college, when I hit the wall.  I don’t believe in adult onset.  Some of this is semantic – if you have ADHD symptoms caused by thyroid disease, do you have ADHD?  I don’t think so.  And you probably wouldn’t meet carefully evaluated DSM criteria.

5. All the studies show that people who do have ADHD do not abuse their medication. But there is a lot of misuse, especially in college.  ADHDer are hit on by friends  to get their meds, or a few may be selling it.

There are surely some cases of abuse and addiction in ADHDers, especially with amphetamines, but these seem rare, and I question if the person really had ADHD in the first place.

doug

Question O the Day:

Would you be willing to contribute your opinions?  They will make the site more interesting and I would appreciate them.

Two Quotes O the Day:

1.  “Not proven is not the same as proven not.”
2.  “Many people, including some scientists, confuse correlation with cause.”

                         These two brilliant quotes are from Doug Puryear his own self.

Personal Note O the Day:

I think this is one of my better posts, but we will have to wait and see what my wife comments, if she does.

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Living with ADHD (or trying to) — ADHD Tip O the Day 820

Life can be hard.  It can be harder with ADHD.

The day runs away from you.

You have a list of things to do today. They all seem important. You realize that you’re no good at setting priorities. Possibly some of them could be a waste of time.

The pressure keeps growing because you’re not getting them done and it seems that the list is getting longer, more important, and more out of reach with every hour that passes. 

Its getting later and later.

The day is running away from you. 

doug

Question O the Day:

Do any of you know what I’m talking about?

Some days are like that with ADHD.

 

 

Links – We need strategies, don’t we!

Old ADHD Tip O the Day

Another ADHD Tip

And Another

Plan O the Day

I really do intend to do the next post on updates on ADHD science.  I really do!

OK, So what’s going on?

I quit my job,even though I loved it,  because administration was increasingly making it impossible for me to do it well, throwing up more and more obstacles.  I’m spending a lot of time job hunting.  And since I’m off work, I decided to make a big push and finish writing my autobiography, which I’ve been messing with for four years.  It’s for my descendants.  I’m on draft 40.  Hope to finish this week, then publish it on create space next week. That’s the part I’m dreading.  So the blog has been suffering.  Plan to get it going again in a couple of weeks.

Some Days Are Like That

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

A New ADHD Strategy, Working So Far — ADHD Tip O the Day 819

Puryear’s Principles of Human Nature, number one (or something)

 We struggle with a problem until we find something that works. The next thing we do is we quit doing it.  

My ADHD Strategies 

These strategies make my life immensely better. But sometimes I’ll quit using one of them, for no reason I can explain. Maybe it’s the novelty wears off? Or maybe I’m uncomfortable if I’m too comfortable? Anyway, I change some of my strategies from time to time.  So, here’s my newest one.

ADHD Strategy – Schedule One

I’ve been a little stagnant lately, less effective, more procrastinating. Now I take one of my many calendars, and using a green marker, I put one to do in for each day. That’s on top of whatever may be scheduled for that day. Of course, I tried to remember to break the to do into small steps if necessary and just put one per day.

Now I focus on that one task for the day and commit myself to getting it done. Once it’s done, I heave a big sigh of relief and give myself a big pat on the back.

Then I may move on to doing other to dos. And that may be easier, because my morale is up and I have this sense of competence and confidence. But if I don’t do another one that day, the day has been a success.

And, if I can do enough single to do’s, one at a time, one per day, they will add up. And I am moving, not stagnant.

It is easier get myself to do one thing than it is to work on a to do list, even when I have limited it to a maximum of five.

doug

Links:

The Principle

One At a Time

The Power of One

Personal Confession O the Day

Sometimes I have to rediscover something I had already rediscovered before.

 

• @addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

The ADHD calendar of ONE

Life With ADHD, With and Without Medicine, by Ram — ADHD Tip O the Day 818

I am grateful to Ram for her many good contribution to the ADHD blog.  I don’t know if you read all the comments, so I’m posting her last one here.  Lots of good stuff in it.

doug

Great post, as usual. I didn’t know the New York Times was on a campaign against certain drugs. I am well aware that there is a big problem with prescription drugs in the USA, but campaigning against drugs that don’t even really get you high is really nonsense. I’ve been on anti-depressants for a while now. When my doctor tried to wean me out, it didn’t take long for me to have a bad reaction. I think I’ll eventually be able to be off them for a while (I have been before) but I already know how I will feel when I need them again, and it’s awful. It’s like going through the motions. You can laugh, you can smile, you can work, you look normal. But you’re overly pessimistic and whenever you laugh or have fun, that “high” you get from your body’s endorphines doesn’t last longer than 5 minutes and you just feel…. nothing. 😐 Why would anyone think that living like that with no drugs is better than risking medication?
As for chrildren, the more I think about it, the more I’m in favour of medicating children for ADHD. I’m a grown woman so my perception is a lot wider than a child’s. I notice what comes easy to others and doesn’t come easy to me. Little things, like ducking under a table to retrieve something. Normal people do this without worries and are usually fine. I duck under a table to retrieve something, and my brain almost instantly forgets that I’m under a table. The chance that I’m gonna get right up and knock my head is huge. And then there it comes: “you have to be more careful”. No one is careful when ducking under a table! Don’t they even realize that they don’t need to be careful? That if someone needs to be careful about something no one else has to be careful about, maybe there’s something wrong with the wiring? With my ADHD drugs (Medikinet = Ritalin), it doesn’t come natural, but when I’m retrieving the object from under the table, my brain flashes “remember there’s a table above your head”, and I get to dodge it when getting up. A child hardly has the life experience and vocabulary to explain this – heck, some children will say they have a headache when they mean a tooth-ache.
Incidentally, my meds also help me focus better on my private time: pay more attention to people, pay more attention to my hobbies, playing the guitar, etc. Which is why I frown a bit upon the idea of children only taking ritalin when they go to school and be off the meds on the weekend. It’s like only grades and career matter from childhood on. ADHD causes more havoc that at school. I wish parents and doctors would give it a try to at least medicate the child one day of the weekend and see how it plays out. They might be surprised. But not having been medicated as a child, having children of my own or a doctor’s degree, this is just a semi-educated guess. I wonder: how do you stand on having ADD/ADHD-kids off their meds on the weekends, Doug?

Comments from doug:

The antidepressants are very useful in moderate and severe depressions, not quite as much in mild. Just as I recommend strategies, coaching and therapy along with the medication for ADHD, I highly recommend therapy and activity along with medication for depression.
There are many other similarities between the two, including having a lot of misinformation being printed in the media and posted on the net
My medication is Daytrana, Ritalin in a skin patch which avoids the side effects. The only side effect I have is insomnia if I forget to take it off in time.

Future Posts:

I am trying a new strategy of One. Eager to write about it.

May write about John Rosemond, a well known (I think) columnist who calls himself a psychologist (does not have a PhD- is that OK?) and has a lot of nonsense about ADHD in our newspaper. He’s a denier. Arrghh!

Plan an update on the latest ADHD scientific research findings.

Now that I’ve joined the ranks of the (almost) unemployed,  hoping to do better on keeping up with the blog, and to get the images fixed so they show up right on Facebook – at last.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

You are dissing us ADHDers

You don’t believe in ADHD?

Medicines for ADHD?— ADHD Tip O the Day 817

 ADHD medicines – alway a controversy!

My View:

1. The medicines – Ritalin, Adderal, Vyanse,Concerta, Daytrana, et al – are miracle workers for some, very helpful to others, somewhat helpful to some, and worthless or even detrimental to some. You will never know until you try it.
   2. All children with ADHD deserve a trial of medication. If it doesn’t help, that raises some question about the diagnosis.
   3. The medications do not lead to drug abuse. In fact, they reduce the frequency of drug abuse in people with ADHD.
   4. The medications do not improve school or test performance in students who do not have ADHD; however, it gives them the impression that they have done better than they really have.  Diversion of the stimulants is a real problem, especially in colleges.
   5. Especially in children, the medications can sometimes cause problems, particularly with insomnia, reduced appetite, or slow growth. The growth will catch up with time. Other side effects can usually be managed by changing the dose, the timing, or the form of the medication.
   6. The New York Times has been on a campaign against ADHD and against the medicines. They seem now to have switched to a campaign against antidepressants, which I believe is equally misinforming. However, the antidepressants are indeed more problematic than the stimulants.
   7. As helpful as the medicines can be, I believe that strategies are at least as important. Dr. Goodwin stated that the purpose of the medicines is to help us focus enough to be able to use the strategies.

 

From the ADDA insider:

 

There’s a raging debate about medication for ADHD. 

Some people are against it.

 They feel “we shouldn’t be drugging our kids.” (I’m not sure if they’re fine with drugging our adults with ADHD or not.) I hope no one in their family is ever diagnosed with diabetes! 

Others think it’s a “gateway drug” and will lead to addictions. Most ADHDers I know do struggle with their medications! Their biggest struggle is remembering to take them! (Doesn’t sound like much of an addiction to me.)

 Some people are for it. 

When you get an ADHD diagnosis the first thing we ask about is medication. (I’m speaking from personal experience for myself and for my daughter.) We’re hoping the right medication will “cure” the ADHD! Of course, once we get our medication, we discover “pills don’t teach skills.” 

No pill will cure ADHD. (With luck and hard work, most of will become grateful for all the traits that make us unique.) 

ADDA is neither for nor against medication for ADHD. We are for consulting your doctor. We are for taking only your prescribed medication. And we are for following professional advice at all times. Medication is not right for everyone. And medication is not the entire solution for anyone.

 In today’s Insider, we have two articles dealing with ADHD medications. 

In Highway to Hell: Untreated Depression, Anxiety & ADHD Drove Me to Addiction, we share the all-too-common story of James. James struggled with addictions for years, addictions that started when he was self-medicating.

 

In ADHD Stimulants: Medication Diversion in the Real World, we share a podcast. Jeff Copper of Attention Talk Radio interviews a college student about his arrest. Caught diverting his ADHD medication, he suffered serious consequences.

 No matter which side of the debate you fall on, don’t miss today’s articles. 

Warmest Regards, 

Patti Schwab

Editor

Various Personal Notes O the Day:
I am struggling with procrastination on many fronts, especially on this blog, my autobiography, my other ADHD book, and my book, The Bully. I am concerned about the attack on antidepressants which are very useful medications and fairly effective, especially in moderate or severe depression. There is a lot of distorted misinformation out there. Many of us ADHDers have depression.  I should have a lot of free time in May, and hope to catch up. One trap I hope to avoid is expecting too much. I need to get back to fishing regularly.

Strategies:
1. Keep the to do list short and realistic.
2. Focus on one thing at a time and forget about the others. That is one of the purposes of the lists.
3. Try to be careful about the sources of the information you are taking in. But, be skeptical of even reputable sources.
4. Be aware that my views and opinions are simply that. They are based on personal experience and wide reading.

doug

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp    @thebullyonline #bully #bullying #thebullyonline

Life with ADHD

Life with ADHD can be hard

“You Don’t Listen to Me!” — ADHD Tip O the Day 816

Have you ever heard that?

Miscommunication is a standard part of normal human life. So is the frustration with it. 

But who ever said that ADHD is normal human life?  So we have a lot more of it.

Feeling not listened to is very painful.

“You don’t listen to me!”

There are several possible explanations:

1. You had a very clear idea in your head and thought that your words had clearly conveyed it to me, but I didn’t get the idea the way you were thinking it.  This is life.
2. I wasn’t listening to you. I was stressed and/or had so many ideas going at once that your message just got lost in the shuffle.
3. I was listening to you. I heard you.  But then I got distracted and/or forgot it. Sorry.

 

Strategies:

1. Write it down.

2.Try not to take the mistake or the frustration personally. Its life.

3. Love.

doug

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Links:

Relationships and ADHD

Distraction and ADHD

Listening and Hearing with ADHD

 

Rhinocerantes. What does this have to do with ADHD?

ADHD and Irritiable — ADHD Tip O the Day 815

What Still Drives Me Up the Wall, I Mean Up The Flipping Wall:

Politics

The minority “president.”   It is not appropriate to go into that here. I probably                 shouldn’t even have said it. But then I do tend to say things I probably should not have   said.

Technology in general and my computer in specific. Sometimes I think it may be the work of the devil.

“Thank you for your patience.”

People who think we shouldn’t “drug” our children and we should “Let boys be boys.”

Arrogance in ignorance.

Conspiracy theories, especially against vaccinations.

You may notice there is some overlap in these.

 

I try to keep The Serenity Prayer in mind.  It helps. Somewhat. When I remember to think of it.

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

doug

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Did I really just say that?

I AM CALM, DAMN IT!!!!

Don’t put up with it.

No one is more certain in their views than the one who has no idea what they’re talking about.

Stuck again – ADHD Tip O the Day 814

Well here I am again, writing about being stuck, because I’ve been stuck. Many reasons, will spare you the excuses.

In Mexico, on vacation, but still have a to do list of about six things that need doing pretty soon. Wasn’t doing any of them. One was this blog.

Made a list.  Made a four day calendar and spread them out across it. That helped a little bit.  Said I would do the first one. I didn’t. Ate some ice cream instead, which I’d said I wouldn’t do. But then I did one. Putting the reward before the achievement, probably a mistake.  But could be a new strategy?

Then I did another one, but not the next one high on the list. Trying to use my “do the hard part first“ strategy, but I’m not. The hard part can’t be broken into small steps. Well, actually, I haven’t tried that. It’s a good idea if it’s possible.  That’s my next strategy.

I have some links for you to make this post more useful than my dithering.

But at least I’ve done something now, which is better than nothing.

doug

Links

Hyperfocus

ADHD and Marriage

Distractions

 

Note: I did have a lot of distractions while doing this blog, and I wasn’t quite hyperfocused, but I committed to finishing it and did not follow any of the distractions.  It wasn’t easy.

Oaxaca dinner

oaxaca art rhinocerantes

Oaxaca patio where I am typing this

Oaxaca breakfast

ADHD, ADD,

Oaxaca

oaxaca

Goals for 2018 – With ADHD?! — ADHD Tip O the Day 813

Yes, even with ADHD, goals can help make our lives better.

I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions, but I set ten goals for 2018.

These were spiritual, health, financial, professional, recreational, and educational goals.

They are each very specific and measurable, and achievable. These three characteristics are essential for success.

But that is not enough. If I left it there, I would have just set myself up for failure and demoralization.

Steps

The next necessity is to take each goal and write down the specific steps I will need to take to reach the goal.  And again, to make each separate step specific, measurable, and achievable – small steps

This is going to work.

If I can do it, you can do it.  Or do you have another other plan?

Doug

PS O The Day:

I did not make a goal to do two posts a week. It would be doomed to failure in my current situation. I did not make a goal to do one post a week, although I would hope to do that.  But making it a goal would be too much pressure and again, too likely to be a failure. I can hope, but I need goals that I can achieve.

Bonus Links

Goals

Goals – More Tips

This should work.

it won’t be January for ever

Never been that good with time, either.

ADHD doesn’t lack focus, just has no control of it.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Make Your Life Better in 2018 — ADHD Tip O the Day 812

I  continually try to make my life better, make things easier, simpler.
One of the ADHD principles is to identify a problem. Sometimes we don’t think of it as a problem, but just as a part of life. But –.

Here are some recent examples from my life:

1.On the days I go to work, I need to leave early. I usually don’t have time to finish my coffee. That’s a loss of pleasure and a waste of coffee. And a problem.

Strategy: Make my coffee first thing. Then I can drink it while I’m fixing the rest of my breakfast, and I’ll be able to finish it by time to leave.

2. I need to take my Daytrana patch off by about 4 PM, or I’ll have trouble sleeping.  I set my iPhone alarm for four, but sometimes I just turn it off and never get around to taking off the patch. And I can’t take my iPhone into my job, so I don’t have an alarm on those days.

Strategy: I use an “anchor” – going to the bathroom. I’ve made the habit of checking my chest every time I go to the bathroom, checking to see if the patch is still there. If it’s after 4 PM, I take it off. This strategy only works because I check every time.

3. I keep tripping over the wire connecting my earphones to the computer, and my earphones keep getting in my way  when I’m not wearing them.

Strategy: I’ve found a perfect place to hang my earphones when I’m not using them. Just follow the rule of always putting them there when I take them off, and no more problem.

4.When I take the dog for her potty break, I need to take off my glove to tie up the poop bags. But I keep dropping my glove and have to go back and try to find it. A hassle.

Strategy: New rule. When I take my glove off I put it in my pocket immediately, before I try to tie the bag, and not in my other hand or under my arm. In my pocket.

It is amazing how these little things make a big difference – more efficient, more effective, less frustrated. Less ADHD ish.  My 2018 is going to be better. In many ways, I hope.

You can make your life better.

doug

Advanced Note O the Day

Setting the iPhone alarm for 4 PM is a great strategy. Nothing wrong with it. It just didn’t work for me. So when the strategy isn’t working, it’s time to try a new strategy.

Link:

Principles for ADHD 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

Ain’t it the truth

 

More Research on ADHD (Supporting My Previous Opinions) — ADHD Tip O the Day 811

 

New Research On ADHD

Lots of important research comes from Scandinavia because they apparently keep very good detailed statistics on everyone from birth to death. That is a very valuable bank of data, but the concept probably would not go over well here. Anyway,a recent study  found that ADHD patients had significantly higher rates of both attempted and completed suicide and higher mortality rate in general, with accidents being the most common cause of death.
Previous research did not produce surprises – we have an increased proclivity to risk-taking behaviors, substance abuse, criminality, and risky sexual behavior, as well as accidents. It all fits together.
The important finding is that ADHD patients taking medication still had increased risk over vanilla’s, but a significant reduction of risk compared to ADHD patients without medication.

My Opinion

Everyone with ADHD, especially children, deserves a trial of medication. Medication doesn’t help everyone and not everyone can take it, because some get side effects. For some, medication is a life-changing miracle; for many, it is just a very significant help. I think it is always worth a try.

More ADHD Research

A study from Amsterdam showed that boys with ADHD significantly improved their sleep with Ritalin. They fell asleep earlier, quicker, and slept longer, compared to their findings before the Ritalin and compared to control boys who did not get Ritalin.
As you can see, this is important because sleep difficulties are a significant symptom with ADHD and poor sleep makes symptoms and general health worse and parents often are concerned that Ritalin will interfere with their child’s sleep.
The study indicated that the child needed to be on Ritalin for eight weeks before the positive effects on sleep were clearly significant.

doug

Another Silly Life with ADHD Story

It was time to take the dog for a walk and it was cold outside. Really cold. So I wanted my sweater in addition to my jacket. But of course, I couldn’t find my sweater. Looked everywhere that it might possibly be. No sweater. Looked everywhere that it couldn’t possibly be. No sweater.
Gave up. Started to put on my jacket. Found my sweater. I was wearing it under my shirt.
What?!?
Actually, in retrospect, I can explain that, I think. But why bother?

Bonus Links

Medication for ADHD?

Non-medication treatment for ADHD

What?

We all need a dog

ADHD– Strategies -Do They Really Work? Three Tips — ADHD Tip O the Day 810

1.  I have a fairly new strategy.  Whenever I park my car, I say, out loud, where it is.  “Second row, facing out, in line with the  I in the LIQUORS  sign.”

2.  It works. It’s a good ADHD strategy.  I spend much less time searching for the car now.

3. That is, as I learned again today, it works if you do it.  But only if you do it

doug

Bonus ADHD Links:

Memory Aids

Memory???

Memory Strategies

 

@dougmkpdp @addstrategies  #add    #ADHD

 

Ouch! Hypersensitivity and ADHD – – – Tip O the Day 809

I know I am hypersensitive.

Am I hypersensitive as a symptom of my ADHD? Or have my ADHD problems, including so many screw ups, just made my self-esteem fragile? So is the hypersensitivity an ADHD symptom or a consequence?

I am hypersensitive and overreactive to:
Put downs– Being laughed at, ridiculed, poked fun at, especially in a group.
Criticisms – although I think I handle constructive criticism  well.

I am also hypersensitive and overreactive to unrequested advice, supervision, instructions, and commands.
Is this because they imply that I’m not competent, not able to do it myself? That would certainly connect to my ADHD, wouldn’t it?
I have worked well with some bosses, those who left me alone to do my job my own way unless there was a problem. I have read that we ADHDers tend to do better working for ourselves.

And of course our actual incompetence, screw ups, forgetfulness, etc., invite people to feel they need to provide us with advice, direction, supervision and  also invite criticism, more than most people get.  Which is toxic when you’re hypersensitive. 

I am also hyper sensitive to certain noises, and a high level of noise drives me up the wall.  That may be another post (not a promise.)

So, are these problems of ADHD , or is it just me?

Strategies:

1. Recognize that I am hypersensitive, overreacting, and often misinterpreting.
2. Ask, ” Is that a criticism?”
3. Breathing techniques.
4. Try to think of the big picture, and realize that these incidents are not really significant (although large doses may be significant even though the individual ones are not).
5. Escape the situation.
6. Keep my mouth shut, offering less of  a target.
7. Never promise anything.
8. Direct my attention to something else rather than ruminating on the hurt.

How well does this work?

Somewhat.  I’m still working on it.  The good part is that I usually get over something pretty quickly

doug

Questions O the Day?

1. Are you hypersensitive, too?
2. If so, how does it connect with ADHD?
3. If so, how do you handle it?

Note O the Day

Happy Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for so many things, have been blessed far more than I ever deserved.  And thankful for you, the readers of the ADHD blog, and especially those of you who have contributed so much with your comments.  Thank you.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

Did I ever grow up?

Maybe this just isn’t my thing?

ADHD and marriage

Oh, my! Did I do it again?

 

 

Whipping Procrastination? With ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 808

 It just seemed like too much, so I kept putting it off.  Hanging over my head for six long months.

Does that sound like ADHD to you?

I want a job in Maine.  I really really want a job in Maine.

But the first step required filling out an application to a head hunting company, so they can find me a job.  Many pages to fill in.  Many documents to find and copy ,many of them  from long ago,  many of them obscure. And many questions, also about long ago and obscure.  What was my address ten years ago?

Then if they find me a  job, I’ll need to do it again for the state of Maine, and then again for the hospital. They will all require pretty much the same information but they will each want it on their own forms.  And each one will also require some other obscure document that the other ones hadn’t thought of yet.

See, I’ve done this many times before.

So why in the world, you might ask, if he’s done it before, doesn’t he have all the necessary papers in one place, and just fill out the forms, copy the papers, and send them?  Have I mentioned that I have ADHD?

I do have all, or most, of the papers in one place, but they aren’t organized.  And often I have to search through them to find some obscure piece of information.

And why, you might ask, don’t the head hunting companies and the states and the hospitals use the same forms, and why, you might ask, if the state says I’m OK, isn’t that good enough for the hospital?  Or why, you might ask, can’t the head hunters send their files to the state and to the hospital, and that will take care of it?

Yes, indeed, you might ask.

But-

Yesterday, I sat down and filled out the forms and found and copied the papers.  I did.  And I was only distracted once – got tired and said, “Oh, I can finish the rest of this tomorrow.” But I got myself to pick up the next page and keep going til I was done.

Took the entire flipping morning.  Then rewarded myself with a nice lunch and then took the fifty pages to the UPS store and faxed them to the headhunters. (Fifty pages.) (Fifty.) 

Done!

Point

Besides just sharing my lament, the point is that if you let something keep hanging over your head, it seems to grow bigger and bigger and harder and harder to do.  And it hangs there and drains energy from you.  So just do it.  Do it now.  Get it over with.

Easy to say.

Strategy

I used a strategy to finally get started. I said that I need to just start. I don’t have to finish right away; I can spread it out over several days.  That lightened the size of the perceived burden.  But once I was able to start, I pushed myself and just finished the SOB.

Done! Done! Done!

In spite of ADHD.

doug

@dougmkpdp,@adhd,#ADHD

Distra-?

What??

Let’s actually do it! Now!

 

In ADHD, Attitude Makes the Difference – But Then, There is Word Power — ADHD Tip O the Day 807

With ADHD, Everything Can Be Difficult

But

there are strategies to make things less difficult.

Last post, I said that my job is difficult, but I love it.

What helps me is using the power of words and keeping focus on my attitude.

ADHD and the Power of Words

Today is Saturday.  I get to go to work on Monday.  I get to.  I never say to myself, or to anyone else, “I have to go to work.” No, I get to go. 

Research shows that ceertain words – “have to,” “must,” “should,” evoke powerful unconscious anti-authority resistance in most of us.  This makes it harder to do the task. ‘Don’t you be telling me what to do!’

ADHD and Attitude

I think that’s enough for today.  Next time I plan to write about how to work with attitude to make your tasks, like my job, for example, more enjoyable.  Hope you’ll enjoy it.

doug

Link

You don’t have to say “have to.”

Bonus Link

New Research Refutes Myths About ADHD

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

How to Start

Moderate OCD actually helps in ADHD

Be informed about ADHD.

It probably takes someone with ADHD to think up something like this.

 

Problems in ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 806

Your Life Can Be Better, and so can mine –

if we recognize problems, and then apply the formula:  recognize, strategy, rule, habit. 

My job is difficult, but I love it.

One of my many frustrations was dealing with a bunch of different forms as I move from office to office and patient to patient. I spent so much time shuffling through stacks of papers trying to find the specific one I needed at the moment.  Frustrating!

So, if you’ve read the book or been paying attention as we go along, the solution is already obvious to you, right?

It took me a year

to finally realize that this was not only an ongoing frustration and waste of time, but it was also A Problem.  That means, in my philosophy, there must be a solution.  And I found it.

 

The Answer

 

I got two of these suckers, one green and one purple.  The green one holds the routine papers- encounter forms, order sheets, handouts, etc – each in its own pocket.   The purple one holds the consent forms the patients need to sign, assorted according to the different types of medications.

Finding the right paper is a breeze.  My life is better.

 

If something is frustrating you, or wasting your time, or interfering with your efficiency, your comfort, your satisfaction, then it probably is not just life as she is, but it’s probably A Problem.

Your life can be better!

doug

Next ADHD Project

New rule:  I will not lay my iPhone down anywhere except on my desk, bedside table, or bathroom counter.  Nowhere else. Only one of those places.  

Let’s see how that works.

Bonus Links

On Rules with ADHD – The ADHD Formula

Applying the ADHD Formula

More on Distractions

 

Halloween again already.

Did you ever wonder?

What was I doing?

The Answer

 

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

ADHD Plus Anxiety – The Podcast — ADHD Tip O the Day 805

Do you have ADHD?  Then you know about anxiety:     

Am I going to screw this up, too? Am I going to get my to do list done?  Am I going to get anything done?  Am I going to blurt out the wrong thing?  What am I forgetting? And where in the world are my keys?

Anxiety!

Jennie is an ADHD maven, coach and podcast producer.  And she raises bees in her back yard!  Inadvertently.

This is the podcast we did for ADHD Awareness Month, October.

I was anxious about doing the podcast, but I didn’t do as poorly as I feared.

For  many reasons, anxiety goes hand in hand with ADHD, and it can be a booger. But, there are good strategies to help deal with anxiety.  I discuss three of them in the podcast.

Jennie Friedman’s Podcast

Jennie’s blog

Hope you enjoy.

doug

Very Excited Note O the Day:  I am learning how to use Dino’s ingenious strategy for making the Facebook images come out right instead of getting chopped off.  This is the first trial run.  Hoping.  And many thanks to Dino.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp