With ADD ADHD we have more trouble making decisions than vanillas do. There may be many reasons for this. We have shaky self esteem and maybe fear making another mistake. Maybe there are just too many choices. But part of the problem is our misconceptions about decisions.
We act as though there is a Right Answer engraved in stone somewhere and it’s up to us to figure it out.
If it’s that hard to decide, then probably there’s no right answer. It’s a toss up.
If you’ve done a reasonable amount of homework and made a decision and it turns out badly, that doesn’t mean you made a mistake. It just means you made a reasonable choice that didn’t turn out well.
You can’t ask every adviser, read every article, google every possibility. You’ll just get more confused and you’ll never make a decision. You’ll miss a lot of opportunities.
So do a reasonable amount of homework,taking a reasonable amount of time. Not too much (obsessing, procrastinating ) nor too little (impulsive). If you still can’t decide, flip a coin. Then stick with your decision. No second guessing.
Homey has some good suggestions about this, including listing pros and cons (I love lists) and setting limits Set a time limit, a research limit, a choices to consider limit.
All of this applies to the many choices we have to make, large and small, including setting priorities.
doug
Quote O the Day:
“At some point you have to stop doing research and decide.”
Homey
Comment O the Day:
Every morning we wake up with a certain amount of psychic energy. Every time we make a choice or decision or exercise any willpower, we burn some up. Then there’s less available for the next challenge. Aint that a booger?
from homey – on how to make decisions
ADD ADHD work arounds.
Bonus Link:
#add #adhd @addstrategies @dougmkpdp
ADDadultstrategies 
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I do stress over making decisions. I didn’t in the past – when I was younger. But now even the simplest decisions stress me out. This was a really great post and you said something that I think will make a difference for me in the future:
“We have shaky self esteem and maybe fear making another mistake. Maybe there are just too many choices. But part of the problem is our misconceptions about decisions…We act as though there is a Right Answer engraved in stone somewhere and it’s up to us to figure it out…If it’s that hard to decide, then probably there’s no right answer. It’s a toss up.”
Thank you. That’s extremely helpful.
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homey- glad it was helpful. this was hard for me to learn.
thank you always for commenting
doug
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Great post, Doug! I’m about to face some tough decisions again. While it’s allways a stressful process, over the years I’ve been getting good at my mantra if “everything happened exactly as it had to happen. You just need to make the best if everything!”
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ram – good to hear from you!
i like your mantra. one of my favorites is “This too shall pass.”
thank you for commenting
doug
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jeff- good for you for helping your wife. sometimes we need to just do one thing as our fulltime job and let other things go for a while – like if you were on vacation or sick yourself.
also good for you for finishing section II – sounds like you are taking a bit at a time which i think is the best way to use the book.
one of my time strategies, which you will read: i also estimate how long something will take, then I add 50%.
thank you for commenting
doug
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Doug, More good advice from you and Homey. Thanks to both of you! I had a bad day today. My wife recently had major surgery, and I’m stressed to the max. Since her surgery 3 weeks ago I’ve been helping her out a lot (which I enjoy) – but it really messes with my schedule. Especially with all of the interruptions.
I have a lot of difficulty with decision-making. My wife says I do too much research. So I have to try to do better. My other main difficulty is time management: Before I undertake a task I often try to guess how long it will take. Unfortunately, having to often deal with others, the task usually takes MUCH longer than anticipated! The effect is to further stress me, and hamper my productivity.
Luckily, I just finished Section II of your book, and am hoping to get some good tips in Section III, with deals with TIME… Jeff
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