Screwed Up Again

OK, I did it again and my wife says my excuse of not thinking and then apologizing is getting old.

I scheduled something on top of something routine I’m supposed to do with her, and it was going to be hard to reschedule it.

I said I’d try to be more careful.  She wasn’t impressed.

Suddenly the light bulb went on!!!  We’re scheduled to take groceries to the church on the 2nd  and 4th Friday every month and I’d just scheduled taking our priest fishing on the 4th Friday.  I hadn’t noticed the conflict.  But!! – I suddenly realized the strategy – put it in my appointment book for each of those dates!  All the way thru December.  No more problem.

The thing is, I used to do that and somehow I’d stopped.

The principle:  once we find something that works, the next thing we do is stop doing it.

Quotes O the Day:

“If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.”
One of my favorite quotes.

“It can’t all be in the front.”
One of my wife’s favorite quotes, regarding the refrigerator.

Links:

Executive functioning

Delusional Optomism

Next apology O the Day:

Last post I put a link to a great post from James Clear and later saw that it didn’t work and I couldn’t find it to replace it and now I can’t figure out how to correct something once it’s posted anymore.  Working on that.  I tested these two links and think they work ( I hope.)

doug

About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote four ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I also published a novel, Alma Means Soul. The books are available at amazon.com (soft cover or E book), or smashwords.com (only E books). The prices are as low as they are allowed to be. Managing Your ADHD Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year.
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9 Responses to Screwed Up Again

  1. bjkuhlman says:

    I really enjoyed your two quotes, so very true to life. And the GiFs made me laugh, I needed that. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. Cindy Bahl says:

    I know what you refer to isn’t time blindness, but for me these two do seem to be related (in my brain, at least). For anyone interested, this article about ADHD and time blindness is one of the best ones I’ve seen on this topic.
    https://adhdhomestead.net/time-blindness-feels/

    I love the voice they use when talking about it and how it affects not only them but those around them. To me, this seems very related to what you are talking to, accidently scheduling two things at the same time. Curious if anyone else relates? Thanks, Cindy

    Liked by 1 person

    • cindy
      i agree with you, this is at least on the edge of the time blindness problem which covers such a large area of our lives. and thank you for the link, i plan to post it ( i always cringe when i write ‘I plan to – ‘, because, you know–)
      thank you for the helpful comments
      best wishes
      doug

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Cindy Bahl says:

    Doug,
    Feel your pain. I have found that sometimes I need to retrain my brain back into helpful habits. What I do is put bright colorful post-its (or whatever attention-catching things are appropriate) for a few months. Like you can put a reoccuring alarm on your phone to check your calendar daily and make sure to add events. Eventually, your brain will get back into that habit and you probably won’t need those phone alarms (or bright post-its) after awhile. I found that if I’ve fallen out of a helpful habit, I just need to go through the retraining process again. Yeah, easier said than done. Sorry you are dealing. I don’t think anyone can understand just how hard it is to do the things neurodivergents have no issue with. And when we screw up, it’s soul-crushing because we are the harshest judges of ourselves. We are pretty relentlessly ruthless in this regard. Good luck. And, as always, thank you so much for sharing this aspect of your life with us along with bits of wisdom. It helps so much. It makes the rest of us feel a little less ‘stupid’ or a lost cause. And it’s comforting just to be here on this blog, reading not only your posts but comments by others as well. ADHD can be incredibly isolating because we seem to be in perpectual shame of our endless screwups. So, we are ashamed and keep it to ourselves. Which doesn’t help us any.
    Thanks,
    Cindy

    Liked by 1 person

    • cindy
      great comment, it boosts me too. i’m going to think some more about how to use the iphone for reminders, while at the same time trying to figure out how to edit word press posts. thank you for commenting.
      best wishes
      doug

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Dee says:

    Oh my gosh Doug you had me laughing out loud at “once we find something that works, the next thing we do is stop doing it.” I do this all the time, the as I am trying to come up with something “better” I drive myself silly trying to figure out a way to do it.

    Then…I hit the Senior Trying to Reset Password. I was laughing so hard my husband came out to check on me. I hit the last line and just lost it. Thank you SOO much for the laughter.

    PS If you tape enough sticky notes up and around because they are all important, hyper focus kicks in due to all the “noise” all over the place, so you take them all down and can’t think or find a thing.

    Liked by 1 person

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