There is some interesting new research on emotions in ADHD.
I plan to do a series on the topic, interspersed with other subjects.
Spoiler Alert: It’s possible this will a little disorganized. You think?
Definitions:(excerpts from Your Life Can Be Better, 2nd edition):
self esteem – how we feel about ourselves, especially our sense of worth.
self image – the picture of ourselves we carry in our head; who we think we are, what we think we’re like
shame- the emotion we feel when we aren’t measuring up to our standards, or those of others, and we feel exposed, feeling that others can or soon will see our failure and our flaws. A deep seated basic internal feeling. A common result of ADHD.
We all want to be OK (self image). Related to this is perfectionism. We tend to move to perfectionism because we mess up so often and we get get so much criticism, very damaging to our self esteem. But if I can do this perfectly, then no one can criticize me, and it’ll prove to them, and to me, that I’m not a total screw up and loser (self image).
Unfortunately, perfectionism only make things worse, because we never can achieve perfect, so we’ve failed again, and it also fosters procrastination, because the task is impossible.
This stuff is all connected, isn’t it. A lot of things in life work in feedback loops.
Quotes O the Day:
“I’m crazy. You’re crazy. We’re all crazy.”
“I’m not OK. I’m not not OK. I’m just me.”
Extra notes of the day:
Morwen Edhelwen kindly pointed out that “vanilla” is a term widely used in the BDSM community with a specific meaning. So I’ve considered not using it anymore, but it’s widely used for non ADHDers in the ADHD community and I assume that the ADHD community is larger than the BDSM community (beware of assumptions) so I’ve decided to keep using it. Besides, I like it. I will consider any disagreements?
The novel Alma Means Soul and the other ADHD book are on hold while I struggle with the second edition of Your Life Can Be Better. Making some progress. Some. Thanks to Jo for much help and to Dinos for gracious help offer.
Please note Scott’s comment below and see if you can help him. Android phone? Tech? Dinos?