Tag Archives: managing

Marriage/Relationships? Part Two— ADHD Tip O the Day 986

Marriage part two Throughout this series, I use “marriage” “to stand for “marriage and/or relationships.” I understand that marriage is becoming increasingly rare. ADHD and marriage:  Marriage is hard.  With ADHD it’s much harder, especially for the non ADHD partner.  … Continue reading

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Marriage and Other Strange Relationships, Part 1 — ADHD Tip O the Day 985

Relationships are so complicated, even without ADHD, that this will take two or more posts.  And with ADHD – Whew!! We marry with expectations of what our marriage will be like.  Generally, we expect our marriage to either be like … Continue reading

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How to Be Happy — ADHD Tip O the Day 983

It can be hard to be happy, especially these days, and harder with ADHD.  But- Affirmations:  Every morning, state, “I choose to be happy today.” Learn  to cope with your ADHD. Minimize contact with toxic people. Help someone else. Get … Continue reading

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Many ADHD Links, Many Choices — ADHD Tip O the 981

  We ADHD ers have difficulty making choices. I’ve collected too many links, so I’m going to dump them now.  You pick and choose.  It’s up to you now. Doug Links:   Outgrow ADHD?   Ages and stages of ADHD … Continue reading

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Non Stimulant ADHD Meds — ADHD Tip O the Day 980

While stimulants are  the first choice of medication used to treat attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), there are many non-stimulant medications that may be used. Statistically, stimulants are more effective, 85 % of ADHD ers. Straterra (atomoxetine), has the best response rate of the … Continue reading

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“New” ADHD Science — ADHD Tip O the Day 979

ADHD research continues. That’s good.  There’s actually not much that’s very new, but: The new DSM V Tr is due out March 2022.  I’ll try to find out what it will change about ADHD diagnosis, but that’s probably not available … Continue reading

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What to do about my forgetfulness and absentmindfullness? — ADHD Tip O the Day 975

Answering this question about ADHD: This is an example of accepting that you can’t change something, but you can make strategies to help you cope with it. (But medication might help somewhat.) 1. Write everything down on a card, folded … Continue reading

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Frustrated and Overwhelmed — ADHD Tip O the Day 974

A couple of weeks ago, I just gave up, just for the week.  I didn’t post, and lots of other things I let go.  Some weeks are like that with ADHD, although fortunately, it’s usually just a day, not a … Continue reading

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Procrastinating or Pushing Ahead? — ADHD Tip O the Day 971

Overwhelmed is common with ADHD but strategies can help. The same is true for procrastination. I took on the task of clearing the trash in our stretch of the Santa Fe “river“ (even calling it a creek is an exaggeration … Continue reading

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Truths About ADHD Medications — ADHD Tip O the Day 970

There are many misconceptions about ADHD medications. The two classes of ADHD meds are the stimulants and the others.  The following truths primarily apply to the stimulants:  methylphenidate – Ritalin, et al, and amphetamine – Adderall, et al.  70% of … Continue reading

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ADHD and ODD, REVISED— ADHD Tip O the Day 969.1

Morwen made an excellent comment on my original ODD post which leads me to revise the  post and also add new links:  Hello Doug, I feel as though the information you presented above lacks critical engagement with diagnosis or disorder. … Continue reading

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The Giant ADHD Flywheel and More — ADHD Tip O the Day 968

With my ADHD, I’m driven.  The pressure is constant. Here is a viewpoint from Creatieve.  I love your comments. Creatieve Creaties says: July 19, 2021 at 11:42 pm I definitely recognise myself in the “not being able to keep the house … Continue reading

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Self Abuse Makes ADHD Worse — ADHD Tip O the Day 967

(Not that kind) With ADHD, we have many opportunities to feel shame.  And we often contribute to that be being harshly critical of ourselves.  And we often were subjected to shaming criticism as we were growing up  (and after), so … Continue reading

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Women and ADHD part two — ADHD Tip O the Day 966

In reply to Denise Dion’s comment:. denise – the ADHD symptoms of the inattentive type, which most ADHD women have, are the same as in men but without the hyperactivity, distractability, procrastinating, for sure. And probably without the impulsivity, blurting out, … Continue reading

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ADHD Handwriting — ADHD Tip O the Day 965

It’s called dysgraphia, another ADHD comorbidity. This might be related to dyscoordination (basal ganglia, cerebellum), being in a hurry, and trying to get a flood of ideas down on paper before we lose them. My handwriting caused me lots of … Continue reading

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Breaks and ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 962

Everyone needs breaks, probably more so with ADHD, but they can be difficult. Breaks throughout the day, week, and year can be very beneficial, even necessary.  That’s why we have vacations, and why it’s best not to work during them.  … Continue reading

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Coping with ADHD Stress — ADHD Tip O the Day 961

Living with ADHD is stressful. (So is living with someone with ADHD.) Meditation, breaks, getting outdoors, exercise, are all helpful. Some of my favorite tools for stress or anxiety  are breathing tools. Here’s my latest favorite.   Think what you  want … Continue reading

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ADHD and Time – ADHD Tip O the Day 959

If you have ADHD, time is a booger. We underestimate how long a task will take. It always takes longer.  And if its fixing or maintenance, it’ll take at least two trips to the hardware store. Strategy: Estimate the time … Continue reading

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FAQ about ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 958

I get many AHD questions from various web sites. Here are some answers (ie my opinions) with links. What can cure ADHD?  –  Only God. Does ADHD get worse with aging? – No, age just adds more problems. Am I … Continue reading

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Some Links For ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 956

These are some good ADHD links for you and that’s about it for today. I’m taking a break. And I plan to do the next post on breaks (“I plan–“). Enjoy. doug Links: ADHD Brain Differences ADHD Brain (download) Shame … Continue reading

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Assumptions, Premises, and Illusions — ADHD Tip O the Day 954

Now for something different This will be a philosophical discussion today, not limited to ADHD.   (Had you assumed there would be a Poem O the Day?  Sorry to disappoint you. I hope you’re not heart broken. ) General Strategy O … Continue reading

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Parenting — ADHD Tip O the Day 950

Being a parent is not easy. Parenting generally is  difficult and stressful, but it can also be extremely pleasant and rewarding. As they say, they grow up very fast. Look for every opportunity to spend quality time with your children … Continue reading

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I’m Very Doubtful — ADHD Tip O the Day 949

Technically, adult onset ADHD isn’t possible, because it’s a neuro developmental disorder, meaning we’re born with it (or at least something interferes with the development of the nervous system early in life). The DSM requires symptoms to be present before … Continue reading

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ADHD Medications — ADHD Tips O the Day 948

This article is so good I’m offering it as the ADHD Tip O the Day  ADHD Medications Hope you’ll read and enjoy it. doug Poem O the Day:     The Mail Back in the day, when I was working, in … Continue reading

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ADHD Excuses — ADHD Tip O the Day 947

We ADHDers are hard to live with.  We cause a lot of frustration. A comment from T: “I would love for you to address the issue with people with ADHD trying to justify behavior that is driven by the ADHD … Continue reading

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I’m Also Doubtful About — ADHD Tip O the Day 946

John Rosemond — writes syndicated newspaper columns and books on parenting. His style is about using the power differential to control children and seems out of the 40’s and  maybe a little sadistic at times.   He recently had a column … Continue reading

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Failing with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 940.1

“I am a failure.” What a terrible thing to say about yourself. I often read posts from mothers who say they’re failing, that they must be a bad mother. Often that means they can’t get their child to do what … Continue reading

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Venting — ADHD Tip O the Day 938

It’s good for us to vent and get things off our chest occasionally. This works best of course if we have an audience. Thank you for being my audience today. 2. Word has decided to revolt and take control. It … Continue reading

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Update on ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 936.1

A good way to start the new year will be to update your knowledge of ADHD. A key strategy for managing our lives with ADHD is to educate ourselves. We can each become an ADHD expert and without too much … Continue reading

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Update on ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 936

A good way to start the new year will be to update your knowledge of ADHD. A key strategy for managing our lives with ADHD is to educate ourselves. We can each become an ADHD expert and without too much … Continue reading

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Overindulge? With ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 935

With ADHD, we are at risk. I hope you don’t overindulge over the holidays. All you need to do is use your willpower, self-control, and judgment. Assuming you have some. Not all of us do. My wife makes wonderful cookies.  … Continue reading

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An ADHD Christmas, et al — ADHD Tip O the Day 934

‘Tis the season to be jollyFa La La La La etc. etc. Bah! Humbug. Even with ADHD? The holiday season is very stressful for many if not most people (family? shopping?), but more so for us.  We’re supposed to be … Continue reading

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An ADHD Christmas, et al — ADHD Tip O the Day 934.1

‘Tis the season to be jollyFa La La La La etc. etc. Bah! Humbug. Even with ADHD? The holiday season is very stressful for many if not most people (family? shopping?), but more so for us.  We’re supposed to be … Continue reading

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ADHD Hypersensitivity — ADHD Tip O the Day 929

The post on rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) lead to the post on emotional hypersensitivity but we ADHDers are hypersensitive to many things, not just emotions. I’m hypersensitive to noise in general, and certain noises in particular. Certain smells. Even my … Continue reading

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ADHD Emotions Part 3— ADHD Tip O the Day 923

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria as a part of  ADHD Do I have RSD?  I don’t know.  I reread the article, it says usually the crashes just last for hours, mine last a day or two. Still, I’m certainly overly sensitive and … Continue reading

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ADHD and Emotions — ADHD Tip O the Day 921

There is some interesting new research on emotions in ADHD.          I plan to do a series on the topic, interspersed with other subjects. Spoiler Alert: It’s possible this will a little disorganized.  You think? Definitions:(excerpts from … Continue reading

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Why Use Strategies and Habits for ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 919

Insights on living with ADHD: I finished another retreat and again gained some insights, some of which I’ll share with you. The purpose of the ADHD strategies and the habits is to make your life easier, to decrease pressure and … Continue reading

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Marijuana and ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 918

Does Marijauna help with ADHD? I recently answered this question about marijuana (weed, pot) on another website. My answer stimulated a lot of controversy.  My answer began, “I don’t recommend marijuana. “ Apparently some people took this as my being … Continue reading

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ADHD and Changing — Tip O the Day 916

Puryear’s Principles of Human Behavior #1 After we struggle and struggle with a problem and finally find some effective way to cope with it, the next thing we do is stop doing it. Maybe one of the reasons is that … Continue reading

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Misdiagnosed ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 914

Misdiagnosed ADHD? A friend asked if his bipolar diagnosis could actually be misdiagnosed ADHD. ADHD has many comorbidities,  other problems that frequently occur with it. Bipolar (used to be manic depressive) is a major one. In US adults, 1 to … Continue reading

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ADHD Changes — ADHD Tip O the Day 913

Puryear’s Principles of Human Nature – Number One: “If we struggle and struggle with a problem, and we  finally find a solution that works, the next thing we do is to stop using it.” One of my favorite strategies is … Continue reading

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Dystechnologia and ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 912

Dystechnologia is not an official part of ADHD.  But I sure have it, and I think it’s one of the frequently occurring comorbidities.  Could result from our symptoms, lack of focus, etc., or could be related to the same brain … Continue reading

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Letting Things Slide — ADHD Tip O the Day 911

It’s a long ADHD story, sad but true, and instructional. I publish my books on KDP, a subsidiary of Amazon. Their authors’ page lists all the books and their status. I looked at it several times, but not carefully. It … Continue reading

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ADHD Time — ADHD Tip O the Day 910

How I spend my time; a typical 24 hours: Screwing around on the computer.              2.5 hours Sleeping?                                    … Continue reading

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Does ADHD Medication Help With —? — ADHD Tip O the Day 909

ADHD Medication Helps with Focus, Motivation, Inertia The medication can be a miracle for some, but it doesn’t seem to help with: irritability losing things memory patience time management sleep   Too bad; sorry.  But what it does help with … Continue reading

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Clumsy with ADHD? — ADHD Tip O the Day 907

If ADHD is related to abnormalities of the basal ganglia and the cerebellum, and the circuits connecting them, then what would you expect?  Clumsy. I pull a cereal bowl off the third shelf and on the way down manage to … Continue reading

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ADHD Medication — Tip O the Day 905

The Question Was, “What should I expect when I start ADHD medication?” Between two hours and two days you should notice more focus and more motivation and more follow through. You probably won’t get any side effects, but if you … Continue reading

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Report on My Retreat —ADHD Tip O the Day 904

I finished my five day spiritual retreat, a success.  I got off track some on day five, next time I’ll do four days.  It wasn’t as difficult as I’d expected. I had a little struggle about how to use my … Continue reading

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Living with ADHD and Corona Virus — ADHD Tip O the Day 903

ADHD and Corona Virus, wouldn’t either one be enough?   I hope you are safe and well and finding some way to make use of this strange time.  Although we’re all waiting for things to return to normal,  I fear that … Continue reading

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An ADHD Christmas — ADHD Tip O the Day 882

  Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a blessed whatever. Since Christmas, and everything else, sneaks up on me – “Wait!  That can’t be this week can it?” But this year i was on top of it.  i ordered my wife’s … Continue reading

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Coach and Therapy for Anger — ADD tip o the Day 386

A response to Holly on ADDerworld, who is concerned about her anger, and says that she know all the things she should be doing but is having a hard time doing them: “Holly, you recognize the problem, that it is … Continue reading

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Commitment — ADD Tip of the day 296

One of the hardest things for us with ADD or ADHD is to follow though, to finish, to persist after the novelty and the initial enthusiasm have worn off (is that one or three things?)  One strategy is commitment. First, … Continue reading

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The Blue Book — ADD Tip o the Day 290

I recommend this book, The Quiet Mind.  This is a spiritual matter, but you will see that you can apply these principles to anything.  The book is new agey, left field, a little weird, kind of  Christian.  It has short little … Continue reading

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Habits, habits, habits — ADD Tip o the day 288

Habits are so important with ADD or ADHD! I just got half way to the river when I realized my fishing stuff wasn’t in the car.  I had taken it out over the weekend while I went on a hike.  … Continue reading

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Alone with ADD —- ADD Tip o the day 230

How do you do on your own?  Alone? My wife is leaving (no, not like that)for five days.  I know the script – the first 3 days will be great!  I can do as I please (more or less).  I … Continue reading

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Good stuff — ADD Tip o the day 215

there’s a lot of good stuff for ADD or ADHD on the web (so I’m flattered that you check this blog), as well as of course a lot of junk.  here’s some good stuff: http://adhdmanagement.com       good tips, and … Continue reading

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Some things I am not good at — ADD Tip o the day 210

I am not good at: (at least partly related to ADD or ADHD) 1. facebook- and I even tried reading the directions, which i rarely do.  mess every thing up 2. linked in – dont understand the concept, how to … Continue reading

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Latest on willpower — ADD Tip o the day 205

Another NY Times article just out, agreeing that willpower is limited.  The people who do  best with willpower are those who use it least. They avoid temptation as much as possible.  If you have a problem with food, then put your … Continue reading

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ADD meltdown — ADD Tip o the day 172

At the Kairos weekend I was suddenly appointed music leader.  Suddenly.  No preparation time.  I had my song book but I thought the page numbers in the songbooks the guys had were different than in mine, so I had to transpose.  … Continue reading

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ADD and reading — ADD Tip o the day 158

I read one of the paragraphs in the little blue book nearly every time I come in or out of the office.  It helps me keep on track and it’s uplifting.  I just noticed that I tend to rush through … Continue reading

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Does ADD Get Better? —- Tip o The day 151

People sometimes ask if ADD or ADHD gets better. Well, there are some programs that are supposed to help, like balancing and coordination exercises, and someone just told me that the memory program at cogmed.com has helped them.  And the … Continue reading

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Decide the night before — ADD Tip o the day 148

The list of five is a crucial strategy.  Then we need to pick one. For many of us coping with ADD or ADHD it is good to make the list and pick one the night before.  When we wake up … Continue reading

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A Mess — ADD Tip o the Day 122

The man said, ” I just hate housework. I really hate it!  You make the beds and wash the dishes and two or three weeks later you just have to do it all over again.” Messes affect us.  They lower … Continue reading

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Balance — ADD TIp of the day 113

One of the measures of mental health is balance, not too much of this or of that.  We who try to cope with ADD or ADHD have trouble with this.  We have to set aside what we would like to … Continue reading

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Problem, Strategy, Rule, Habit? ADD Tip o the day 112

I often write checks on  my wife’s checkbook.  I often make errors in arithmetic.  This causes her headaches.  So her strategy was to ask me to use the calculator.  I agreed.  Next I would need to make this a rule and … Continue reading

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Expectations — ADD Tip o the day 108

I have a lot of things I think I will get done today. I will not.  Writing them all down is a good idea; then I need to make a shorter list, five or less.  Then I need to pick … Continue reading

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Write it down — ADD Tip o the day 106

A lot of negative things had piled up, all pretty minor thank God, but I was feeling kind of down.  I was moping around grumbling to myself and not really enjoying it.  So I sat down and made a list … Continue reading

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Vulnerable — ADD tip o the day 104

“steaming” is a poker term.  When you got a really good hand, and you played it perfectly, and then you lost a big pot because some bozo  made an incredibly lucky draw and beat you, you are likely to be … Continue reading

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The power of lists — ADD Tip o the day 99

I like lists.  I need lists.  I make lists all day long. Couldn’t function without them.  It’s not just the list, having it as a guideline and for structure, but it’s also in the making of the list.  To make … Continue reading

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checking — ADD Tip o the day 78

Last night I tried out facebook, which I don’t understand. I found out what “status” does, tho why is it called that?  Then I tried “links”.  That worked!  Of course, since I was kind of excited and have ADD, I … Continue reading

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Know Thyself –ADD Tip of the day 72

“He who knows and knows he knows, he is wise,                    follow him. He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep,          wake him. He who … Continue reading

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Symptoms or consequences — ADD Tip o the day 70

This is something of a puzzle.  Our basic problem is that our focus center (attention center) in our brain is wired differently.  Some of the symptoms that come from that are distractibility, procrastination, difficulty starting, and so on.  Probably impulsiveness … Continue reading

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Thoughtfulness —- ADD tip o the day 63

I did a small nonrequired unrequested kindness for my wife this morning, opening a container that I knew she was going to use later.  She was unaware of this.  I was being thoughtful.  Unfortunately, this was unusual enough that I … Continue reading

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Can’t do it all —– ADD Tip o the day 61

This is one of our problems; we are blessed with a curious active mind and so many things are appealing.  We are not good at setting priorities.  One reason is that often choosing to do A means that we have … Continue reading

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ADD Symptoms —–ADD Tip o the day 60

Many people who do NOT have ADD or ADHD have told me that sometimes they have  some of the same symptoms- they lose their keys, or forget an appointment, or procrastinate, etc.  I believe them.  I think that’s just human. … Continue reading

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Time part 2 —– ADD Tip o the day 57

I am usually early for appointments, because I estimate how long it will take me to get there, add 20%, figure out what time I need to leave the house, and then decide to leave 5 to 10 minutes earlier than … Continue reading

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Time and ADD —– ADD Tip o the day 56

When we are young, our life stretches endlessly before us. We can afford to waste a day, or a few, or a week or so. Not every moment is precious, or at least we don’t recognize that it is. One … Continue reading

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ADD and frustration —– ADD Tip o the day 55

A young lady who was recently diagnosed with ADD describes how frustrated she gets with herself when she messes up and recognizes that she is showing an ADD symptom.  Usually once we learn the diagnosis we feel much better, because then … Continue reading

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Many sites ——– ADD Tip o the day 54

You may be amazed to learn that this is not the only ADD site on the net.  It is not even the only good one.  There are many sites on ADD and ADHD, on strategies, tools, coping , managing, thriving, suceeding and so … Continue reading

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The ADD strategies book- update —– Tip o the day 46

I am working on the 10th draft of the ADD book, and am waiting for input from two reviewers and finishing from another before I can start on draft 11.  Then I have one more final reviewer and then it … Continue reading

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Morals and ADD ———- Tip of the Day 44

I asked a patient about his use of alcohol and drugs,                                                                  he made a comment about his”vices”.      A friend commented on his ADD, said rules don’t work for him because he just rebels against them, said he doesn’t have a  conscience, … Continue reading

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irritable ——– ADD Tip o the day 43

I am very irritable.  I get easily annoyed, often over small things, often over things that really aren’t even annoying.  I thought it was just me, one of my character flaws. I looked up ‘ADD-irritable’ on the net and got … Continue reading

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Diversity ——- Tip o the day 41

We are all different, each one an individual. If you need medication, I don’t know which medicine will be best for you or at what dose.   I can make an educated guess, but we have to try them. We all … Continue reading

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Diagnosis: part 3 -the last part—Tip o the day 35

So, if your’re not sure if you have ADD or not, you can look at all the symptoms I’ve talked about.  You can take some of the free tests on the net.  Then you can see a psychiatrist or a … Continue reading

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Overdoing Tip o the day 21

Too much is not enough.  (Texas saying) We ADDers do tend to overdo we get enthused with a new pastime and go full out, until its not new anymore. I was doing well with my exercises, so I increased them and … Continue reading

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