ADHD and Relationships – A Followup— ADHD Tip O the Day 768

What are ADHDers like?  What is it like to live with ADHD? What is it like to live with someone with ADHD?

And why are relationships so difficult for ADHDers?  If you would like to understand, this article from Attitude nails it. 

I wish everyone in a ADHD relationship would read this:

The Link – Why is he (she) like that?


Read Orlov’s book The ADHD Effect on Marriage


Quote O the Day:

“You can’t be married and be right.”

        unknown spouse

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at, or (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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12 Responses to ADHD and Relationships – A Followup— ADHD Tip O the Day 768

  1. Pingback: Constructive Arguing— ADHD Tip O Day 990 | ADDadultstrategies

  2. Pingback: Keep It Short — ADHD Tip O the Day | ADDadultstrategies

  3. Hi! I would like to share this from a page i get resource from for living with ADHD especially if you are in a relationship. This might help. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jeff says:

    By the way, your Tip #780 was dated July 8, 2016, and appeared between Tips 728 and 729. Jeff

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jeff says:

    Hi Doug. I understand it’s more difficult to be the spouse of someone who has ADD, but it helps if the spouse tries to be understanding. My wife often tells me that she shouldn’t have to put up with my ADD, and she shouldn’t have to help me! I feel I am dealing with my ADD fairly well, but I have an extremely poor memory, and this really gets on my wife’s nerves. Instead of being glad that she’s able to help me, she often resents having to remind me of things (so she oftentimes doesn’t).

    By the way, I wanted to update you on my efforts to find a good psychiatrist (see my reply to your Tip #780). After my terrible experience with Dr. R, I began seeing Dr. G in late October, and have seen her monthly since. I have my first appt with a therapist in her office tomorrow.

    Dr. G put me on Adderall. Initially, it was one 15 mg XR in the morning, followed by a 10 mg IR later in the day. In November she added another 10 mg IR daily, making it 15/10/10 daily. But last month I reported that the benefits of the Adderall seemed to be waning, so she changed my dosage to 20/20/20, with the first dose still being an XR.

    Initially, this worked well, but then I began having bad side effects: My mouth began getting extremely dry. Then it got worse when the dry mouth began to give me canker sores on my tongue, and pain around the tip of my tongue that was so bad it would awaken me at night! Lowering the dosage on my own seems to have solved this problem. I guess I just have to live with the lower dose, and reduced benefits.

    Do you have any advice you can give to me based on YOUR experience? Thanks! Also, I believe that from now on the psychiatrist is only going to help me with issues relating to my medication, while the therapist will be helping me with issues relating to my ADD. Does this sound correct? Jeff

    Liked by 1 person

    • rammkatze says:

      Hi Jeff. I’m obviously not Doug, but for what it’s Worth: Doug has mentioned a couple of times that side-effects usually disappear after a while. But waking up with pain on the tip of the tongue does sound painful.


      • Jeff says:

        Thanks, Ramm. My mouth isn’t as dry on a lower dose, and my tongue is back to normal. But my lips are still uncomfortably dry. Have to remember to drink a lot more water. As ADD sufferers, we have enough to deal with besides bad medication side effects on top of everything else! Best of luck to you.

        I hope all is OK with Doug. He hasn’t posted in quite a while, which is unusual for him. Maybe we’ll hear from him soon. Hope so!

        Liked by 1 person

    • Jeff, that’s one way to do it, if you like and trust them both, it should be fine. I hope they both really understand ADHD.
      It is very hard for our spices. If you can pick one specific thing to remember, for example, where to put your keys, perhaps your wife would agree to help you on one specific thing?
      Side effects are boogers. You shouldn’t have to put up with them. Possibly Ritalin would work for you without the side effects, possibly. You could ask your therapist to try it.
      Lots of water is the key, but there is also sugar-free candy to suck on. There is also a medication, I don’t remember the name.
      You illustrate the common occurrence of needing to shop for the right doctor, right therapist, right medication, right dose, right timing. Each of us is unique, a blessing and a curse.
      Best of luck

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jeff says:

        Thanks, Doug. Good to hear from you! Glad you are enjoying Mexico!
        My wife does help me sometimes, especially with remembering appointments, and getting ready. She complains mostly when she’s really stressed out over things. We get along better now that she knows what I have to deal with.

        My therapist and psychiatrist indicate they a special medical interest in the treatment of ADHD. I’ll have to see how things go. So far your tips have helped more than the medication! Thanks again, and enjoy your time away! Jeff


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