Category Archives: Uncategorized

Distraction — ADD Tip o the day 135

My wife and I had a running disagreement about my colleges grades, she thought I was putting myself down and saying they were worse than they were.  So I ordered my transcript.  I didn’t know that I had ADD when … Continue reading

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Your life can be better — ADD Tip o the day 134

My daughter just told me that one of my reviewers had commented to her that he felt sorry for me after reading the book.  That’s one of the things I was afraid of and I tried to address it and … Continue reading

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Forgiving part 2 — ADD Tip o the day 133

We humans are not programmed for forgiving, it is one of the hardest things to do.  It may be that we need to forgive ourselves first if we are to learn how to forgive others.  If we are struggling with … Continue reading

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Forgiving – — ADD Tip o the day 132

I have a lot of grudges and resentments – slights, hurts, disappointments and things people “did to me”.  They’re really silly, we all know they harm no one except me. I have lot of regrets, things I did or didn’t … Continue reading

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Criticism and ADD — ADD Tip o the day 131

When I’m getting criticised, I tend to wall off and not hear well.  Even more so if I’m getting pressured to do something, which often feels like criticism, as does plain helpful suggestions or advice. Since I have ADD, or … Continue reading

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Feedback loops — ADD Tip o the day 130

Most everything seems to work in feedback loops.  If we get depressed, we don’t feel like doing anything.  If we don’t do things we get more depressed, which makes it harder to do things, which makes us more depressed. If … Continue reading

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Why I don’t get it done – Part 2 — ADD Tip o the day 129

So I’m doing something I enjoy, or maybe not, maybe I’m just killing time, instead of doing what I need to do.  Reasons: 1. I’m not sure I can do it – it looks too big, too hard, too complicated.  … Continue reading

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Why I don’t get it done — ADD Tip o the day 128

Why do I keep doing what I want to do instead of what I need to do?  I do the easy enjoyable fun things while the things I need to do pile up over my head.  The more they pile … Continue reading

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Listen — ADD Tip o the day 127

Last night I had a great idea for todays blog.  I had the thought that I should write it down, but I knew that I would remember it this morning.  Not! Why do I have to learn over and over … Continue reading

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Criticism — ADD Tip o the day 126

When we are criticized we usually take one of two approaches, either assess the information and see how we might benefit from it, or else, attack the source. The book has been blessed by many reviewers.  Two reviewers did not … Continue reading

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Like father, like son — ADD Tip o the day 125

There are many stories of parents bringing their son in for evaluation, and when his ADD is diagnosed and ADD or ADHD is explained to them, the father is amazed to realize that he has it too. I estimate a … Continue reading

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Quien mucho abarca, poco aprieta. —ADD Tip o the Day 124

The person who embraces a lot doesn’t squeeze much.  This isn’t talking about hugging.  I have this afternoon off, so I’m writing the post that I will publish tomorrow. This will get done.  Then I will do something else, but … Continue reading

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Stupid? —- ADD Tip o the Day 123

Am I stupid to keep putting these posts up on the blog? Was I stupid to buy some stocks early this morning when the market dropped instead of this afternoon when it was even lower?   Or for knocking over … Continue reading

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A Mess — ADD Tip o the Day 122

The man said, ” I just hate housework. I really hate it!  You make the beds and wash the dishes and two or three weeks later you just have to do it all over again.” Messes affect us.  They lower … Continue reading

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Clumsy?— ADD Tip o the Day 121

We were enjoying a nice lunch, when I reached for the butter. I was very aware of the danger of knocking over the wine, so I was very careful how I reached.  So I knocked over the water.   At … Continue reading

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Enough is enough! — ADD Tip o the day 120

For those few of you who may not have heard yet – tho I shouted as loud as I could- the book is at the publisher!  Draft 23. draft 21 was still awful, hard to believe after all those revisions.  22 was incorporating the … Continue reading

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Plug Away — ADD Tip o the day 119

I wanted to submit the book to the publisher yesterday, Monday.  I was close to ready, so I shifted into a pressure rush mode.  If we’re struggling to cope with ADD or ADHD, that mode is familiar to us but … Continue reading

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strategies — ADD Tip o the day 118

The book is about strategies for coping with ADD or ADHD, to make our lives better. Those without ADD or ADHD don’t understand what it’s like living this way, but those living with us do know what it’s like living … Continue reading

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Pressure (heed thine own advice) — ADD Tip o the day 117

I got the draft back from the proofreader. Because of my avoidance and denial it was in a form that made it hard to work with.  I had wanted to send the book to the publisher by the end of … Continue reading

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denial and avoidance — ADD Tip o the day 116

I think we ADDers might use denial and avoidance more than the average person, though they aren’t integral parts of ADD.   I found a proofreader, and we reached an agreement, and I sent him the book to work on. … Continue reading

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Denial — ADD Tip o the day 115

A while back I got an email from napster, where I had a bunch of music I’d bought. It said something about something they were going to change and something I needed to do to keep from losing my songs.  I … Continue reading

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Try harder! —– Tip o the day 114

If we are coping with ADD or ADHD, we have heard that all our life:”You need to try harder!” We learned to say it to ourself. Problem is, it doesn’t work.  What we need is to try smarter, which with … Continue reading

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Balance — ADD TIp of the day 113

One of the measures of mental health is balance, not too much of this or of that.  We who try to cope with ADD or ADHD have trouble with this.  We have to set aside what we would like to … Continue reading

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Problem, Strategy, Rule, Habit? ADD Tip o the day 112

I often write checks on  my wife’s checkbook.  I often make errors in arithmetic.  This causes her headaches.  So her strategy was to ask me to use the calculator.  I agreed.  Next I would need to make this a rule and … Continue reading

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Worst case — ADD Tip o the day 111

When I’m worried about something I have several strategies.  One of them is to ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”  Then I ask, “And what would I do then?” And then I make a plan.  So I am … Continue reading

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Memory — ADD Tip o the day 110

Because we have very poor memories, we need to remember.  What??!! We need to remember that we have very poor memories and that therefore we need to write it down, to make lists.  But because we won’t remember where we … Continue reading

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Help — ADD Tip o the day 109

As you may know, I am trying to cope with ADD.  I need a lot of help.  For example, when I pack for a trip, I always forget something, razor, or socks, or medicine or something.  So my wife helps … Continue reading

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Expectations — ADD Tip o the day 108

I have a lot of things I think I will get done today. I will not.  Writing them all down is a good idea; then I need to make a shorter list, five or less.  Then I need to pick … Continue reading

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Just stop! — ADD Tip o the day 107

It started off as one of those days, early, when I stubbed my toe on a middle of the night bathroom run.  Then the paper hadn’t come yet.  And I’d forgotten to set up my breakfast things the night before. … Continue reading

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Write it down — ADD Tip o the day 106

A lot of negative things had piled up, all pretty minor thank God, but I was feeling kind of down.  I was moping around grumbling to myself and not really enjoying it.  So I sat down and made a list … Continue reading

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Where are my glasses? — Add Tip o the day 105

Couldn’t find my glasses. I take them off to use the computer, and had been using two computers, so I looked carefully in each place.  Carefully because sometimes I don’t see things.  And I say that if I don’t have … Continue reading

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Vulnerable — ADD tip o the day 104

“steaming” is a poker term.  When you got a really good hand, and you played it perfectly, and then you lost a big pot because some bozo  made an incredibly lucky draw and beat you, you are likely to be … Continue reading

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Being positive — ADD Tip o the day 103

Just read a great comment from Lucy, who read tip 101 as self flagellation and over pressuring myself.  As I just wrote in 102, we often don’t see ourself, or what we are doing, or hear what we are saying.  I … Continue reading

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We don’t see it — ADD Tip o the day 102

I just finished draft 17 for the book.  I’d thought it would need a little tweaking, maybe a typo here and there, maybe a little polishing at a few points.  Wrong! A lot of tweaking, and several sections needed complete … Continue reading

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Focus — ADD Tip o the day 101

I just did it again!-hit the big backspace key when I meant to hit the little delete key.  Erased what I wanted to keep and still have what I wanted to erase.  Why do I keep doing that? Because I’m not … Continue reading

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Stress — ADD Tip o the day 100

What do we do when things get stressful?  We focus on the problems and forget to do the things that help us handle stress! Our first week of vacation was a little rough; some things weren’t going well.  After a while, … Continue reading

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The power of lists — ADD Tip o the day 99

I like lists.  I need lists.  I make lists all day long. Couldn’t function without them.  It’s not just the list, having it as a guideline and for structure, but it’s also in the making of the list.  To make … Continue reading

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Pecking away —ADD Tip o the day 98

I am not getting to do as much  on the book as I would like right now, but I am pecking away.  I do a little bit every day and it is amazing how it adds up.  So one small … Continue reading

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ADD in women — ADD Tip o the day 97

ADD or ADHD starts in childhood.  Boys tend to have the hyperactive type, so they get diagnosed or punished or expelled, whatever, they get noticed.  Girls tend to have the “inattentive” type, they just sit there and daydream and don’t … Continue reading

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Too much is never enough — ADD Tip o the day 96

I quickly got into the  habit of buying for breakfast two croissant and one pain raisin, which is kind of like a cinnamon roll but more so.  This was obviously too much; I was leaving the table feeling overstuffed and … Continue reading

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Know your limitations — ADD Tip o the day 95

I think that I’m a good writer.  It’is probably useful to me to think that, but unfortunately, I know, or perhaps better, I know that unfortunately, it is not true.  I am a lousy writer.  I am in the middle … Continue reading

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Time management — ADD Tip o the day 94

You heard about the guy who was lousy at time management.  His friends recommended a good course to him, but he didn’t have time to take it. Well, if he has ADD or ADHD, he needs some coping strategies.  I … Continue reading

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A new hero — ADD Tip o the day 93

I have a new hero!  Did you ever spend time chasing pickles around in a jar with a fork, or worse yet, a knife, trying to spear one of the little buggers, or somehow get one up and out? Did … Continue reading

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Stay ahead — ADD Tip o the day 92

The other day I noticed I was quite a bit ahead on my to do things, and how good it felt, comfortable and relaxed. The next day was the opposite, I was behind and feeling kind of pressured and overloaded.  … Continue reading

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Time management? —- ADD Tip o the day 91

We tend to underestimate the time it will take to do something or to get somewhere.  We are not good at it.  One of the several reasons is that we estimate based on the assumption that there will be no … Continue reading

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Solving problems —- ADD Tip o the day 90

I bleive that for every problem there is a solution, although I know that that’s not actually true.  but i think it’s mostly true, and I think that it’s the best thing to believe, even if it’s not true.  Because … Continue reading

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Careful — ADD Tip o the day 89

I find that I am careful sometimes.  We toured a glass factory and then were led into an incredible showroom filled with art pieces, very expensive.  I had on a back pack and realized that it was not safe, i … Continue reading

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Asking directions — ADD Tip o the day 88

I had to ask for directions several times yesterday.  That is hard for men to do.  First, we are supposed to be on top of everything and show no weakness.  Second, research, which I didn’t understand, shows that some part … Continue reading

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coordinated, not — ADD Tip o the day 87

Last night I reached for the wine glass, and instead of grasping it, I knocked it over.  Red wine on the white tablecloth, tho I guess it didn’t matter too much since I’d already spilled a lot of pizza sauce … Continue reading

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Check, check, check —- ADD Tip o the day 86

Left my blue sports jacket hanging on the back of the chair at the restaurant at JFK airport.  It was hot and stuffy there,  no air conditioning on in the airport.  Leaving the jacket there wasn’t so bad except my … Continue reading

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Frustration ADD Tip o the day 85

Frustration ADD Tip o the day 85.

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Frustration ADD Tip o the day 85

Computers are wonderful, aren’t they?  We can do so many things with them that we never could do before we had them.  This blog is just one example.  So I guess we just put up with the fact that they … Continue reading

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Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84

Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84.

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Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84

Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84.

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Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84

Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84.

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Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84

Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84.

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Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84

Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84.

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Laugh —- ADD Tip o the day 84

Well, this is not just for ADD, but we do tend to to get down or frustrated more often than other people, don’t we? A recent New Yorker had an article on a doctor who has made an industry out … Continue reading

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Perception —– ADD Tip o the day 83

Perception —– ADD Tip o the day 83.

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Perception —– ADD Tip o the day 83

Perception, attitude, self talk – they all run together.  The new agers say that we create our own reality, reality is in the eye of the beholder.   It’s early morning; I can say I have a hard day ahead … Continue reading

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disorganized —- ADD Tip o the day 82

I run into people who are too disorganized to get organized.   They don’t have time to learn how to manage time.   I hope they will read the book, but one of my fears is that people with ADD won’t get … Continue reading

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Plan B — ADD Tip o the day 81

It is good to have a plan B, or maybe its a plan C.  We get anxious about the future. Life is full of uncertainty.  We are often worried about a problem or a decision. So it is good to … Continue reading

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enjoy the good —ADD tip o the day 62

Life can be hard sometimes, for anyone, though it tends to be harder for those of us coping with ADD or ADHD.  I think one of ways we can cope with that is to enjoy the good times.  We need … Continue reading

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Advantages part 2 — ADD Tip o the day 79

One of the advantages of having  ADD is that we tend to be good in a crisis.  Probably it is because a crisis does turn on our focus center and we can hyper-focus.  I have found this in my own … Continue reading

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Lots to do — ADD Tip o the day 80

“I have lots to do today”, I’m saying to myself, and I’m feeling overloaded.  So why am I telling myself this lie?  I only have one thing to do- finish this blog post. When I’m finished, I can look at … Continue reading

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checking — ADD Tip o the day 78

Last night I tried out facebook, which I don’t understand. I found out what “status” does, tho why is it called that?  Then I tried “links”.  That worked!  Of course, since I was kind of excited and have ADD, I … Continue reading

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Advantages of ADD — ADD Tip o the day 77

In writing this book, I was surprised as I became aware of some advantages that ADD conveys.  See Pete Quilly’s links to the right of this message.  One of the advantages is creativity.  Most of us coping with ADD or … Continue reading

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pressure — ADD tip o the day 76

I was feeling a lot of pressure to get the book finished by the end of April.  Two separate very wise women pointed out that this pressure was self imposed.  There really is no pressure.  There is no real deadline. … Continue reading

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scraps of paper –ADD Tip o the day 75

“Let me find a scrap of paper to write that down on.” I don’t do that anymore.  Never could find that scrap after I’d written something down.   Carry index cards in my pocket, with an organized system for using … Continue reading

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Brain freeze —ADD Tip o the day 74

Have any of you experienced brain freeze? I’m not sure it’s part of ADD.  It’s certainly related to anxiety. When your brain freezes you are doing well if you can remember your own name.  The synapses are not firing.  It … Continue reading

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Anchors — ADD Tip o the day 73

Anchors are reminders to do something that I need to remember to do pretty often.  It could be to check my blood sugar, or to say a special prayer, or to do a special exercise, or to tell my beautiful … Continue reading

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Know Thyself –ADD Tip of the day 72

“He who knows and knows he knows, he is wise,                    follow him. He who knows and knows not he knows, he is asleep,          wake him. He who … Continue reading

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You are special —ADD Tip o the day 71

As an old friend of mine always used to say, “I never cease to be amazed that —-“, we are all so different and we are all so much alike.  That applies to humans on the grand scale, and to … Continue reading

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Symptoms or consequences — ADD Tip o the day 70

This is something of a puzzle.  Our basic problem is that our focus center (attention center) in our brain is wired differently.  Some of the symptoms that come from that are distractibility, procrastination, difficulty starting, and so on.  Probably impulsiveness … Continue reading

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Stuck again again —-ADD Tip o the day 69

When we are paralyzed, because of the big thing we are procrastinating on, then step two is to break the big thing into the smallest possible steps.  Then do one.  Ideally, do the hardest one first, but it doesn’t have … Continue reading

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Stuck again —– ADD Tip o the day 68

Here’s one of the ways we get stuck: we feel overwhelmed by a big important task, so we procrastinate.  Just can’t get started.  But we have a lot of other things to do.  But instead of doing them, we are … Continue reading

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Listen —— ADD Tip o the day 67

I was just at a retreat where we did a candle light service.  They gave each of us a small white candle with a circle of paper to put around it to catch the wax.  Then, one by one, we … Continue reading

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A new rule —– ADD Tip o the day 66

         I need to carry some medicines with me, so I carry them in a pretty little tin Altoid gum box in my pocket.  Always handy.          I went to my volunteer job at the pen today.  I remembered to take … Continue reading

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vulnerable — ADD Tip o the day 65

A fellow ADDer commented that when we are tired we are more vulnerable.  She meant that we are more vulnerable to the symptoms of ADD or ADHD.  When we are tired we are more likely to blurt out, get distracted, … Continue reading

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Genes and ADD or ADHD —- ADD Tip o the day 65

It is estimated that about 4% of adults in this country have ADD.  In men, it is mostly transmitted though the paternal genes.  I have it, and my son Duane had it.  I can come up with a only a … Continue reading

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Thoughtfulness —- ADD tip o the day 63

I did a small nonrequired unrequested kindness for my wife this morning, opening a container that I knew she was going to use later.  She was unaware of this.  I was being thoughtful.  Unfortunately, this was unusual enough that I … Continue reading

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enjoy the good! —-ADD Tip o the day 62

Life can be hard sometimes, for anyone, but especially if we are coping with ADD or ADHD. We manage life by really enjoying the good times; that makes it even out better.  But our ADD, either the symptoms or the … Continue reading

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Can’t do it all —– ADD Tip o the day 61

This is one of our problems; we are blessed with a curious active mind and so many things are appealing.  We are not good at setting priorities.  One reason is that often choosing to do A means that we have … Continue reading

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ADD Symptoms —–ADD Tip o the day 60

Many people who do NOT have ADD or ADHD have told me that sometimes they have  some of the same symptoms- they lose their keys, or forget an appointment, or procrastinate, etc.  I believe them.  I think that’s just human. … Continue reading

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State of mind ——-ADD Tip o the day 59

It is good to be aware of our state of mind – we can be frustrated, overwhelmed, rushed, frantic, mopey, tired, etc.   That would be one part of the practice of awareness, which is good for everyone, but especially if … Continue reading

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Overloaded —— ADD Tip o the day 58

Yesterday I was feeling overloaded.  that is a unpleasant feeling and, the feeling makes it harder to get things done, so then I feel more overloaded.  But that’s exactly what it is, a feeling, a state of mind, a perception, not a … Continue reading

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Time part 2 —– ADD Tip o the day 57

I am usually early for appointments, because I estimate how long it will take me to get there, add 20%, figure out what time I need to leave the house, and then decide to leave 5 to 10 minutes earlier than … Continue reading

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Time and ADD —– ADD Tip o the day 56

When we are young, our life stretches endlessly before us. We can afford to waste a day, or a few, or a week or so. Not every moment is precious, or at least we don’t recognize that it is. One … Continue reading

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ADD and frustration —– ADD Tip o the day 55

A young lady who was recently diagnosed with ADD describes how frustrated she gets with herself when she messes up and recognizes that she is showing an ADD symptom.  Usually once we learn the diagnosis we feel much better, because then … Continue reading

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Many sites ——– ADD Tip o the day 54

You may be amazed to learn that this is not the only ADD site on the net.  It is not even the only good one.  There are many sites on ADD and ADHD, on strategies, tools, coping , managing, thriving, suceeding and so … Continue reading

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Self talk part 2 ——— ADD Tip o the day 53

Every one does self talk.  If we have ADD, it tends to be negative self talk.                         We can call it “the old tapes”.                                                                                               Sometimes we actually hear the parental  voice.                                                 This negativity is destructive.                                              We may be able to stop it, … Continue reading

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Slow down, refocus —— ADD tip o the day 52

  A copy of a small blue book, The Quiet Mind, sits in the book shelf in my office, where I see it every time I go in or out of the door.  The going in or out becomes the anchor that … Continue reading

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Small, small steps ——– ADD Tip o the day 51

well, I got the taxes done, almost had to go thru the credit card statements, and mark the deductions usually I would’ve gotten a glass of brandy and sat myself down and bulled thru them hated it.     especially hard with ADD This … Continue reading

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Slogans ——- Tip o the day 50

I have a lot of slogans that help me. I can just say them thru the day, or when the appropriate situation arises: Do it now, do it right, do the hard part first. You can only do what you … Continue reading

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Lost keys? – FOFA —– ADD Tip o the day 49

I found about a neat gadget and have put it in the book.  It may be the neatest thing for ADD or ADHD since the manila folder.  The find-one-find-all has a flat gadget with buttons on it to carry in … Continue reading

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Unstuck ——- ADD Tip o the day 47

If you’re trapped in the negative feedback loop – vicious cycle –  downward spiral into the ADD demoralized stuck pit   –       You Can Get Out !!  1. check yourself for the negative self  talk .  Identify it and counter it.    2. … Continue reading

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stuck —- ADD Tip o the day 46

Many things in life work in feedback loops, like vicious cycles or whatever the opposite is –     beneficial cycles? When our ADD wins out and we drift away from our track, get distracted, can’t get started,    can’t finish, and so … Continue reading

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The ADD strategies book- update —– Tip o the day 46

I am working on the 10th draft of the ADD book, and am waiting for input from two reviewers and finishing from another before I can start on draft 11.  Then I have one more final reviewer and then it … Continue reading

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It’s not stupid! —– Tip o the day 45

A lot of us with ADD call ourself “stupid” when we mess up.  Or we may say “That was stupid!” No, it wasn’t stupid.  And we’re not stupid, it’s ADD.  Those of us who had a lot of trouble in … Continue reading

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Morals and ADD ———- Tip of the Day 44

I asked a patient about his use of alcohol and drugs,                                                                  he made a comment about his”vices”.      A friend commented on his ADD, said rules don’t work for him because he just rebels against them, said he doesn’t have a  conscience, … Continue reading

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irritable ——– ADD Tip o the day 43

I am very irritable.  I get easily annoyed, often over small things, often over things that really aren’t even annoying.  I thought it was just me, one of my character flaws. I looked up ‘ADD-irritable’ on the net and got … Continue reading

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technology-whine? —- ADHD Tip o the day 42

I have read that many of us with ADD are technologically astute. Not me – technologically challenged. I’m not getting many hits on this blog but I think some people are reading it on facebook. I hope so. I get … Continue reading

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Diversity ——- Tip o the day 41

We are all different, each one an individual. If you need medication, I don’t know which medicine will be best for you or at what dose.   I can make an educated guess, but we have to try them. We all … Continue reading

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Serenity —— Tip o the day 40

We need to capitalize on our strengths.   What about our weaknesses? It is good to acknowledge them, so we can come up with strategies to cope with them. We can accept that we are not going to improve them very … Continue reading

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Laugh —- Tip o the day 38

There is a new ‘woo woo’ fad, laugh therapy.  There is some research showing that it has both physiological and psychological benefits.  After some more research supports it, it may not be ‘woo woo’ any loonger. We with ADD tend … Continue reading

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The State of the Book —– Tip of the Day 37

The book is coming along.  Nearly finished the 9th draft now. Need some of the reveiwers to report in before the next draft starts. Surprising how many things still need changing. In writing about stategies to make your life with … Continue reading

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Goals ——— Tip o the day 36

I’ve written my goals for 2011.  I don’t make resolutions, because I never keep them. Some goals I reach, some I don’t, but I do work on all of them. I also review them occasionally to remind myself and to … Continue reading

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Diagnosis: part 3 -the last part—Tip o the day 35

So, if your’re not sure if you have ADD or not, you can look at all the symptoms I’ve talked about.  You can take some of the free tests on the net.  Then you can see a psychiatrist or a … Continue reading

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Detour: the door —Tip o the day 34

I want to finish diagnosis but my last post got messed up and it didn’t get published in the right order, and you need to read diagnosis 2.5 before you read diagnosis 3, or maybe not. AND- I had a triumph.  … Continue reading

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Diagnosis part 2 —–Tip of the day 33

Diagnosis Part 2 —-Tip o the day 32Posted on December 28, 2010 by addadultstrategies     procrastination, losing things, forgetting things, arriving late, saying and doing things impulsively and  inappropriately, failing responsibilities and breaking promises.                  lacking patience, can’t finish things, things don’t … Continue reading

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Diagnosis part 2.5 —— Tip of the day 33

Diagnosis Part 2 —-Tip o the day 32 Posted on December 28, 2010 by addadultstrategies     procrastination, losing things, forgetting things, arriving late, saying and doing things impulsively and  inappropriately, failing responsibilities and breaking promises.                  lacking patience, can’t finish things, things … Continue reading

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Frustration # 32 – Tip o the day 32

Scroll down past the bottom of this tip to see the tip 32 that  was supposed to here, or, clik on 32 diagnosis to the right. I just spent 30 minutes trying to get tip o the day  32 just … Continue reading

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Diagnosis Part 2 —-Tip o the day 32

    procrastination, losing things, forgetting things, arriving late, saying and doing things impulsively and  inappropriately, failing responsibilities and breaking promises.                  lacking patience, can’t finish things, things don’t turn out  right.                                         feeling pressured, rushed, frantic, overwhelmed, disorganized.  sometimes demoralized. Well, doesn’t everyone … Continue reading

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Diagnosis? — Tip o the day 31

Many of us who have ADD are not aware of it.  We may think that’s just the way life is; we may think that everyone lives that way, although if we just look around us we can see that’s not … Continue reading

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addictions —- tip o the day 30

We with ADD are prone to addictions.  I think there are two types, chemical and activity. I have been addicted to coffee, in large amounts.  I changed to decaf. I have been addicted to computer games.  I finally had to … Continue reading

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Get Through — Tip of the day 29

Some days you wake up and you just don’t have it.  Maybe you didn’t sleep well, or you’re getting a cold, or you feel overwhelmed.  Anyway, you just don’t have it. A reasonable goal for that day is to get … Continue reading

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Shame tip o the day 28

Shame becomes an integral part of our ADD.  It is deep within us and starts deep in our childhood, when we could not meet the expectations of our parents, then our teachers, then others and ultimately ourselves.  Missing appointments, forgetting … Continue reading

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Avoiding Tip o the day 27

What is the difference between procrastination and avoiding? To me, avoiding means I can procrastinate on it forever, it may never get done. Procrastination means I really need to do it, and will fairly soon. Santa Fe riddle: what does … Continue reading

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Procrastinating Tip o the day 26

Of course, I intended to write this piece sooner. Procrastinating means to me that I need to do it, and will get to it, just not today.  And so on. Usually it means I think it’s going to be difficult, … Continue reading

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stuck Tip o the day 25

What is the difference between inertia, procrastination, and avoiding? To me, inertia is when I can’t get going on anything.  Usually it is because I am feeling overwhelmed, too many things to do, what I need to do seems too hard, or … Continue reading

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Comment- the hard part Tip of the day 24

Got an excellent comment from E. T. G. about starting: Most interesting.  I can relate to just about everything you wrote.  Doing the hard part first is not always  possible.  Take altering a garment, for example. ( sometimes I   put this off)  … Continue reading

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reframing Tip o the day 23

“Reframing” means to change the way I perceive or label something. That is related to “self talk”, the things I say to myself in my head. I can say I have too much work to do today, or I can … Continue reading

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Comment Tip o the day 22

“my most successful tip to myself:   marry a very well organized person and try to remember to reframe “nagging” as loving reminders.”  comment from Peter B. Goldblum, Phd I was going to add, “and you might as well marry a … Continue reading

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Overdoing Tip o the day 21

Too much is not enough.  (Texas saying) We ADDers do tend to overdo we get enthused with a new pastime and go full out, until its not new anymore. I was doing well with my exercises, so I increased them and … Continue reading

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Perception Tip o the day 20

Perception, atttitude, reframing, self talk ‘We create our own reality.’     New Age dictum If I say “I have too much to do today.” then I have too much to do. If I say, “I have a lot to do today.” … Continue reading

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Finishing — Tip o the Day 19

Big problem.  We start full of vinegar and enthusiasm. We get near the end and we stall, out of steam. The novelty has worn off, we have mastered it and the challenge is gone.  Maybe there is no heavy immediate … Continue reading

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Avoiding Tip o the day18

What is the difference between avoiding and procrastinating? It may be  subtle, but for me, procrastinating is putting off starting something that I will eventually need to do, while avoiding is avoiding something that I may never get around to. … Continue reading

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The Book and The List Tip o the day 17

All of the ADD books suggest that you start with an appointment book and a to do list. I think that is good advice. But they are useless if you don’t know how to use them. I have trained myself … Continue reading

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Will power? Tip o the day 16

I don’t have much willpower. That’s one of the reasons that I need strategies. But I think another is that willpower, even if I had it, is not a very effective way to improve focus, concentration, attention.    (Couldn’t hurt though.) … Continue reading

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The Slogan Tip o the day 15

Let’s put them together now. This is my best slogan. I have trained myself so that I think of it whenever I am deciding what to do next. Do it now, Do it right, Do the hard part first. This gets … Continue reading

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Do It Right Tip o the day 14

Because I have ADD, my experience leads me to believe that nothing I do will turn out right. So I don’t want to put too much time or effort into it. So I rush through it sloppily and do it half … Continue reading

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Goals tip o the day 13

yesterday I sat down and wrote down my goals I find it useful to do this every few months. now comes the hard part I need to look at each goal and ask myself If I was really serious about … Continue reading

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keys tip o the day 12

a patient called today to cancel her appointment. she had locked herself out of the house her purse and keys and cell phone were locked inside guess she was calling from the neighbors. I think everybody does this, and everybody … Continue reading

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ADD: even more frustration – tip o the day 11

I was frustrated when the blog changes I made weren’t sticking. because I hadn’t seen the ‘save changes’ button. so I recognized that was a problem, so I made a new rule: Look At The Whole Page ! that’s the … Continue reading

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ADD & more frustration -tip o the day 10

spent the morning trying to get the blog verified wasnt working finally I found the “save changes” button on the bottom of the page below the window i was looking at. hadn’t been saving them. new rule: always look at … Continue reading

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add & frustrations Tip o the day 9

i get frustrated a lot.   and easily. those frustrations add up. but some of them I can do something about. losing the keys.  can’t find the other sock.  recognizing the right address stamper. the first step is recognizing that … Continue reading

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The Very Short List – tip o the day 8

I use a lot of lists the long list, the short list, the list of five, the list of three but the most important list right now is the list of one. I need to do this blog.   now.   that’s … Continue reading

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Do It Now! – tip o the day 7

do it now – this is hard, just go ahead and do it. this is instead of putting it on my to do list instead of saying, ” I need to do this later.” or any other form of procrastination. … Continue reading

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criticisms tip of the day 6

I am persistent, you are stubborn. I am decisive, you are impulsive. I am laid back, you are sloppy. other: ” you are apathetic and indifferent!” me:”I don’t care.” I mess up a lot, and I get a lot of criticism. … Continue reading

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the Hard Part-tip o the day 5

if I can break the task into small steps, then I have to decide where to start. not easy for us with ADD. Strategy:  do the hard part first. If I do the hard part, then it is done.   It … Continue reading

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I Don’t Have To – Tip O the Day 4

I need to avoid the words “have to” and “should”. They automatically bring up resistance. And make me feel burdened. I need to use “need to” and other phrases instead. doug from: Your Life Can Be Better it would be good … Continue reading

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ONE STEP AT A TIME- tip o the day 3

if a task seems daunting break it into small steps consider each step a separate task tackle one step at a time If I need to “do my taxes” I can’t get started, but if I need to “find last … Continue reading

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tip o the day

focus on one thing. put everything else on your list and then put your list aside. this prevents feeling overwhelmed. doug

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Your Life Can Be Better

This blog is to introduce Your Life Can Be Better: strategies for adults with ADD and those who care about them. book coming out in 2011

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first tip o the day

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strategies for adults with ADD

Your Life Can be Better: strategies for adults with ADD and those who care about them book coming out coming out in 2011

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