My long suffering wife (very, very long) still gets annoyed sometimes when I do ADHD stuff. For one example, of many, calling her to come help and then doing something to get ready while she’s standing there waiting.
I’m trying to enlist her help, as Melissa Orlov teaches, to figure out together ways to prevent these problems.
We have come up with one strategy – I’ll try to have everything ready before I call her. But I’m afraid that may just be a strategy of “trying harder.” Which we all know doesn’t work. We’ll see.
But we have backup strategy: if she’s waiting, I’ll explain to her what I’m doing. That should help.
It would be great if I could just stop doing ADHD stuff, but we haven’t come up with a strategy for that yet.
doug
ADHD relationships by Jenna Knight
The ADHD Effect On Marriage by Melissa Orlov
Bonus note: This post represents another strategy, locking in. By publicly saying what I plan to do, I’m more likely to do it.
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- My ADHD and me.
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- ADHD marriage.
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- Life with ADHD.
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- What?
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- Whoops!
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- Were you waiting on me?
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- ADHD and marriage
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- Another favorite that’s been a problem.
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- What?
ADDadultstrategies 
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I have ADHD I’m married to a man that has ADHD 😫except I have been diagnosed 15 years ago and I’ve been on medicine. He however does not think he needs medicine and so therefore drives me bananas😩 even though I showed him The wonderful book Driven to Distraction and he looked over the 100 questions to see if you had it and he definitely was, he thinks he’s fine but what he fails to realize that those around him are not fine SOS 🤡
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lorna
that’s hard. some ideas:
have you read orlov’s book? would he read it too?
try agreeing with him, he does not have a problem, you have a problem. your problem is that it drives you nuts when he does X. just pick one X, a very specific behavior, the more specific the better. then see if he will work with you on that one to come up with a strategy.
later, you can pick Y. its a slow process.
thank you for commenting
doug
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Isn’t that ALWAYS the challenge – ADD or not. 🙂
I have an older article that offers 10 Tips that might help [Surviving Beloved’s ADD]. I just went back to add a link here, so you can jump to read it from the ping notification, if you have them enabled. If not, there is a search box on the top right of my site.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
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Pingback: Surviving Beloved’s ADD | ADD . . . and-so-much-more
Ha! Try a marriage with two ADHD folks… My ex-husband is now being treated for his ADHD as am I. There were some rough times there in the past, though. My current husband’s doctor says he has ADHD too, but I doubt it.
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southern – i can hardly imagine! but it’s good if the doc is ADHD too, so he’ll understand ( but you’ll need double check any prescription he writes.)
thank you for commenting
doug
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