Bee Gee, on Older with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 843

Bee Gee Diagnosed at 68! Wow! I feel I’d love to talk to this person… being 51 and eagerly awaiting diagnosis it occurs to me that perhaps there are a few positives with late diagnosis. Sure we have all heard about the grief over lost opportunity “what I could have been if someone had recognised this in me”.. but a distinct positive has started to crystallise for me…. perhaps not being diagnosed meant that we clumsily found our own expert solutions to help us navigate the world without having the label of ‘broken’…

two and a half weeks ago I read something about adult ADHD in women… I’ve been reading ever since… talking to people and learning so much about myself… I felt at first elated, then broken, then confused over recent weeks. … so ‘broken’ is part of being self identified as ADHD.. and I imagine is a big part of it for many people… so perhaps those of us who are diagnosed late in life have a special role in communicating how it feels to be an ADHD person… because we now have the comparison of “what I thought I was” vs “what I have realised I am like”… and perhaps with that experiential distinction as an adult we are better equipped to point to strengths and solutions rather than labels and deficits …    

Doug Puryear bee gee – you have many good points here. we do need to grieve the lost possibilities, but not spend much time or energy on it. I don’t think it as broken, but different in a way that makes life harder. and yes, I had many strategies before I ever knew I had ADHD or that they were strategies. and I think getting the right diagnosis, even if its ‘at last’ is a great thing.

Bee Gee For me it has meant that I have a reason..when I do those little things which I know are rude.. drifting off, interrupting etc. a few years back when I thought my cognitive difficulties were due to inflammation from auto immune stuff I turned up to have my hearing tested. I had made the appointment that morning and had been given the address and directions over the phone. The address was in a street I know very well in a suburb I have lived in for most of my life. when I arrived there was no record of the appointment. There was discussion about ringing and booking so she phoned her bookings person and they said they hadn’t spoken to me or booked me in. I was feeling really like I was in the twilight zone.She asked to see my referral.. the referral was for a different place … when I was given instructions about where the place was my mind leapt to ‘know already, don’t need to listen’ and told me that it was the place my dad went to to get his hearing aid… it wasn’t. Silly me.

Anyway those mind thwarting moments of being sure but being wrong which I had gotten used to continued and always seemed worse when having an RA flare. it is only since a friend told me she had just been diagnosed with adult ADHD and she explained how it is often missed in girls and why that I started to really go through my life and look at it through this lens. I recognised so much of myself. Every new bit of information seemed to colour in the detail of my vague life. I’ve now realised that what happened was I built some very successful skills to mask and deal with the ADHD but when I got sick those tricks and work around started to fail. I know this because these same little things used to happen a lot when I was little and right up until my teens… but I guess I just thought I was really misunderstood and/or teachers, parents, other kids were just being mean.

Doug Puryear bee gee. that sounds just right. would it be ok with you if I posted these comments on the ADHD blog? they would be good.

Bee Gee  sure

@addstrategies  #adhd #add @dougmkpdp add,adhd,adult add,adult adhd,attention deficit,living with ADD,living with ADHD,coping with ADD,coping with ADHD,symptoms,problems,ADD problems,ADHD problems,ADHD symptoms,@addstrategies, ADD symptoms,#adhd, #add, @dougmkpdp,@adhdstrategies,strategy,strategies,add,adhd,adult add,adult adhd,attention deficit,strategy, strategies, tips,older qpeople with ADHD,aging with ADHD,

An Autobiography: Life with ADHD.

Thanks, Bee Gee.

doug

   @thebullyonline #bully #bullying #thebullyonline

Quote O the Day:

“Where is my phone?
Oh, there it is. Thank you, honey.
Now, where is my wallet?
Ah, I found it!
Now, where’s my phone?”

 

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About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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4 Responses to Bee Gee, on Older with ADHD — ADHD Tip O the Day 843

  1. Pingback: Ram’s Comment—ADHD Tip O the Day 844 | ADDadultstrategies

  2. Rammkatze says:

    I guess we’re all guilty of thinking about what could have been. I certainly am, as I dropped out of college to take the hard road of becoming a poorly paid pastry baker.
    But then I think of what might have been, had I discovered my ADHD when I was in college – and had I stuck with it. I might’ve graduated and never have moved away from my homelandm to Germany, which would almost certainly make me end up with a dead-end job (which is so much the case in Portugal)
    Instead I came to Germany. I suffered many years until I was diagnosed (jumped from job to job because I couldn’t stand people, went from one bad situation to the next one) but then I was diagnosed. I got a handle on me more than ever before and although I’m not 100% happy with my life, I got a grip on myself enough to try and change the things I can change.
    My life might’ve been great. It might also have been worse. This is my reality now, the reality I have to live. And I strive to make the best of it. It’s all anyone can do. 🙂
    As always, thanks for a lovely post.
    Confession: I’m a bit tipsy. I had a strong beer with my dinner (don’t have to work tomorrow) and I’m enjoying my tipsyness. It usally makes want to hug the world! (more so than usual, anyway) 🙂

    Like

    • RAM
      as always, thank you for your good comment. This story is so good that I will probably use it as a post itself unless you object (you never have before.) I think you’re really on the track. It is as it is, and we cannot guess really how it would’ve been, and it really doesn’t matter anyway.
      Keep plugging away, and work on the things that can help you.
      A bit tipsy: that might damage a few brain cells, but I think it is more likely to clear out some of the cobwebs if done occasionally. Wanting to hug the world, including yourself, sounds like a good space to be in.

      Best wishes
      Doug

      Liked by 1 person

      • rammkatze says:

        Thanks, Doug. 🙂 I don’t often get tipsy. I love beer and I used to drink more than I probably should, even alone. But as it turns out, it wasn’t a real drinking problem, it was more of an ADHD thing: I just felt like drinking something good and couldn’t control the impulse. But when I started working night-shifts 3 years ago, I reduced the amount massively. Because I felt self-conscious drinking in the morning – even though for me the mornings are like normal people’s evenings – and in the evening… Well, I have just woken up in the evening, so I don’t start drinking as soon as I wake up either. Because I still enjoy beer very much, I found an alcohol-free brand I enjoy very much and stuck to it on work days – because even if I could rationalize having one beer with dinner before work, it makes me tired and I don’t want to go to work tired.
        This all happened without much though and without any sort of suffering or withdrawal symptoms of any kind, so I’m really on the clear. 🙂 But I do like feeling like hugging the world, so whenever I have a night off, I have a beer, sometimes two. It sure does clear the cobwebs, as you put it 😉
        I thank you kindly for sharing my post. It’s like I’m inadvertently blogging myself, but get the good stuff filtered onto an audience that is already there ;D
        Cheers to you and your loved ones! 🙂

        Like

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