Self-esteem is essential and precarious, especially with ADHD
Our self esteem suffers when we don’t complete something, and that demoralization makes it harder to start the next job. When we do complete something, the boost in self-esteem helps us move on to the next task.
A bonus tip – when you finish something, stop for a moment to give yourself a pat on the back.
But there is so much more to it; like everything else, it’s complicated.
Pete Quilly is a Canadian ADHD coach and expert, who helped me get started with this stuff. And I hope he won’t mind if I just copy something from his post without permission, since I am giving full credit to him.
Excerpt from Pete’s recent post:
“What things boost your self-esteem?
- achievable goals
- affirmations/positive self-talk
- avoiding energy vampires
- being helpful to others (boosts dopamine)
- belonging to positive people and groups – that you resonate with – that do things you enjoy doing
- breaking down a big project into smaller parts and getting it done
- create something physical, making something with your hands
- doing something creative, physically, artistically, emotionally, or intellectually creative ie, make a meal
- exercise and meditation
- figure out a script with a problem you are having – start using it in front of the mirror
- gratitude journal
- groups that you resonate with, what you like
- hang around people who appreciate you
- help someone make something – use your strengths to help others
- learn what gas lighting is and how to recognize and deal with it
- learning a new skill
- notice and celebrate your successes and get curious why –> how can i use that again?
- recognize manipulation
- rewarding yourself when deserved
- short, doable routines
- spend less time on web/social media
- stepping outside your comfort zone
- succeeding at a small goal
- try something new or challenging
- try, test, measure, evaluate and adapt
New Years ADHD Note:
My biggest resolution is to not make any resolutions. Resolutions are just set ups for failure and demoralization. The Strategy is to just do what you can do and give yourself credit for it.
Happy New Year