ADHD and Self Esteem? A Plan for the New Year—ADHD Tip O the Day 760

Self-esteem is essential and precarious, especially with ADHD

Our self esteem suffers when we don’t complete something, and that demoralization makes it harder to start the next job.  When we do complete something, the boost in self-esteem helps us move on to the next task.

A bonus tip – when you finish something, stop for a moment to give yourself a pat on the back.  

But there is so much more to it; like everything else, it’s complicated.

Pete Quilly is a Canadian ADHD coach and expert, who helped me get started with this stuff. And I hope he won’t mind if I just copy something from his post without permission, since I am giving full credit to him.

Excerpt from Pete’s recent post:

“What things boost your self-esteem?

  • achievable goals
  • affirmations/positive self-talk
  • avoiding energy vampires
  • being helpful to others (boosts dopamine)
  • belonging to positive people and groups – that you resonate with – that do things you enjoy doing
  • breaking down a big project into smaller parts and getting it done
  • create something physical, making something with your hands
  • doing something creative, physically, artistically, emotionally, or intellectually creative ie, make a meal
  • exercise and meditation
  • faith
  • figure out a script with a problem you are having – start using it in front of the mirror
  • gratitude journal
  • groups that you resonate with, what you like
  • hang around people who appreciate you
  • help someone make something – use your strengths to help others
  • learn what gas lighting is and how to recognize and deal with it
  • learning a new skill
  • notice and celebrate your successes and get curious why –> how can i use that again?
  • recognize manipulation
  • rewarding yourself when deserved
  • short, doable routines
  • spend less time on web/social media
  • stepping outside your comfort zone
  • succeeding at a small goal
  • try something new or challenging
  • try, test, measure, evaluate and adapt


Pete Quilly’s post – several good lists

Bonus Links:

Criticism and self-esteem

New Years ADHD Note:

My biggest resolution is to not make any resolutions. Resolutions are just set ups for failure and demoralization.  The Strategy is to just do what you can do and give yourself credit for it.

Happy New Year



@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at, or (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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5 Responses to ADHD and Self Esteem? A Plan for the New Year—ADHD Tip O the Day 760

  1. Pingback: New Year’s Resolutions — ADHD Tip O the Day 993 | ADDadultstrategies

  2. SouthernHon says:

    Thank you for the reminder about not making NY Resolutions. Just sets us up for failure. Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ari says:

    Can I add a bonus to the bonus? This is a video from a wonderful youtuber that tackles the same issue, how to build resilience and self-esteem:

    Liked by 1 person

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