Shame is a deep core emotion, which we with ADD or ADHD tend to carry with us, from childhood failures, inadequacies and criticisms. Shame involves other people; it’s the way we feel when we think our bad stuff is exposed or is going to be-it’s about being SEEN. Shame is related to embarrassment but is deeper and worse. With therapy we can identify our sense of shame, understand its roots, modulate it and learn to deal with it. When we use strategies and cope better with our ADD we have successes and that also helps modulate shame. See the class link below for more details and explicit strategies.
We often attempt to cope with shame by developing perfectionism, which just causes more problems; that’s the next post. I plan a small series to also cover defenses and other psychological aspects of ADD or ADHD.
previous blog on shame clik here
bonnie mincu great class on shame clik here
the only thing left over from the comorbid series is the question of which problem to treat first. that depends on each individual situation. I tend to try to treat them both at the same time, but for example, if the depression is too severe you can’t do much about the ADD at the beginning.