Marriage- Part Three — ADHD Tip O the Day 988

I need ADHD help! Now!

With ADHD , everything is much harder, especially relationships.

We disappoint, forget, let down. We get preoccupied, don’t finish, don’t get started.  We blurt out, do and say socially inappropriate things.  We run into things, knock things over, drop things. Whew!

Do you think we might be hard to live with? 

Out of date stero types:  man brings home the bacon, woman takes care of the house and raises the children, (all by herself).  This is changing and the men in recent generations do much better.  (Way to go, Will!)

If you got along well before marriage, that doesn’t mean you’ll get along well after marriage.  If you didn’t get along well before marriage, it’s highly unlikely you’ll get along well after.  If you marry thinking the person will change you may be right, but it’s unlikely to be for the better.

Once we end a marriage or relationship, we often find someone else who turns out to be pretty much like the one we just left, and we have the same problems.

If it bothers your partner, it is a problem even if it doesn’t make sense. You do not want your partner to be bothered.Try to remember to treat your partner with kindness and respect. Even when it is difficult.

Get counseling. A neutral third-party can be can make the difference.

doug

Story O the Day:

TV show years ago: Host interviewing couple with many years of marriage, “What’s your secret?”

Husband:  “When we first married, we agreed that I would make the big decisions and she’d make the small decisions. We haven’t had any big decisions yet.”

Constructive arguing rules – very important.  “Plan” to post next time.

Three Quotes O the Day:

We’re all crazy, except me and you, and sometimes I’m not so sure about you.

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

       Ann LamottThe only thing worse than being married is not being married.

Personal Notes O the Day:

It was actually my wife who suggested my first strategy, “Always put your keys on the front table,” which started off my understanding of and devising of strategies. She was tired of finding them for me.

If I did all the things I’m supposed to do for my health I’d have no time to do anything else.

Help!  Mrs. P is requesting suggestions for funny books, movies, etc.  Any suggestions would be welcome.

Links:

If you love me,–

“How RSD affects my marriage”

Is it possible?

Relationship

 

Shhhhh!

 

The ADHD Mind

 

 

About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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7 Responses to Marriage- Part Three — ADHD Tip O the Day 988

  1. rammkatze says:

    Funny books: Try looking for Fowl Language, I think it’d be righ up your alley (and your wife’s), even if it’s about raising small children.
    I don’t know if “Lunar Baboon” has released any books, but I think you’d like it too,

    Like

  2. bjkuhlman says:

    This is a good reminder to be mindful of or significant other.
    “If it bothers your partner, it is a problem even if it doesn’t make sense. You do not want your partner to be bothered.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Martha Puryear says:

    Good one, Doug! ❤️

    Sent from my iPad

    Like

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