Ouch! Hypersensitivity and ADHD – – – Tip O the Day 809

I know I am hypersensitive.

Am I hypersensitive as a symptom of my ADHD? Or have my ADHD problems, including so many screw ups, just made my self-esteem fragile? So is the hypersensitivity an ADHD symptom or a consequence?

I am hypersensitive and overreactive to:
Put downs– Being laughed at, ridiculed, poked fun at, especially in a group.
Criticisms – although I think I handle constructive criticism  well.

I am also hypersensitive and overreactive to unrequested advice, supervision, instructions, and commands.
Is this because they imply that I’m not competent, not able to do it myself? That would certainly connect to my ADHD, wouldn’t it?
I have worked well with some bosses, those who left me alone to do my job my own way unless there was a problem. I have read that we ADHDers tend to do better working for ourselves.

And of course our actual incompetence, screw ups, forgetfulness, etc., invite people to feel they need to provide us with advice, direction, supervision and  also invite criticism, more than most people get.  Which is toxic when you’re hypersensitive. 

I am also hyper sensitive to certain noises, and a high level of noise drives me up the wall.  That may be another post (not a promise.)

So, are these problems of ADHD , or is it just me?

Strategies:

  1. Recognize that I am hypersensitive, overreacting, and often misinterpreting.
  2. Ask, ” Is that a criticism?”
  3. Breathing techniques.
  4. Try to think of the big picture, and realize that these incidents are not really significant (although large doses may be significant even though the individual ones are not).
  5. Escape the situation.
  6. Keep my mouth shut, offering less of  a target.
  7. Never promise anything.
  8. Direct my attention to something else rather than ruminating on the hurt.

How well does this work?

Somewhat.  I’m still working on it.  The good part is that I usually get over something pretty quickly

doug

Questions O the Day?

  1. Are you hypersensitive, too?
  2. If so, how does it connect with ADHD?
  3. If so, how do you handle it?

Note O the Day

Happy Thanksgiving.  I am thankful for so many things, have been blessed far more than I ever deserved.  And thankful for you, the readers of the ADHD blog, and especially those of you who have contributed so much with your comments.  Thank you.

@addstrategies  #adhd  #add  @dougmkpdp

 

 

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About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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2 Responses to Ouch! Hypersensitivity and ADHD – – – Tip O the Day 809

  1. ram – you’ve nailed i again. makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one.
    “a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”
    wish i could change my reaction from ‘”your’e saying I’m dumb.’ to “your unrequested advice is your ill advised counter productive way of trying to be helpful and show that you care.” working on it.
    thank you for your contribution
    doug

    Like

  2. rammkatze says:

    Hin Doug!

    Wow, I could go on and on about being hypersensitive. Let’s see if I can gather my thoughts.

    When you said “I have read that we ADHDers tend to do better working for ourselves.”, I nodded. I do have a great time at work because I have “my corner” where I’m master, even if I have occasional supervision. I get to decide and work on my own. Sometimes I have an apprentice. This is hard for me, because I’m better and faster when I’m alone: I don’t have anyone disturbing me on the worst of occasions with questions “How do I do this? Where do you want this? Can you show me how to do this?” plus doing my work and keeping an eye on someone else’s work because I’m responsible for them… that makes for slower reaction, more thinking and letting other people try and coordinate my work, or to remind me “don’t forget this, don’t forget that”.

    My best strategy for unrequested advice is saying “I know, but thank you for reminding me”. Even if I’m annoyed, people usually take it as annoyance towards myself.

    But unrequested advice really is my achilles heel. And forcing stuff down my throat, like when I’m talking about my life is going great and someone asks “Why? Did you get a boyfriend?” and when I get pissed and tell them a man is not the answer to all of my problems, people still go “No man is an island….”. I keep explaining to people (even when I see them using these tactics on other people) that to the other person, it doesn’t feel like they’re helping, it feels like they’re saying “Not only you’re too dumb to do this on your own, you’re too dumb to realize you need help, so, here it is!”. GRrrrrr! But it’s no use. Live and let live, I guess.

    Like

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