Don’t Use These Words If You Have ADHD
or maybe even if you don’t.
Ram recently stated that “Stupidly, I fell off the bike– .” I suggested that that wasn’t a good word to apply to herself, but she explained that she didn’t, she was applying it to the situation.
OK.
But
I’m recommending that we eliminate “stupid,” and all variations from our vocabularies. We ADHDers tend to suffer from low esteem, tend to get abused by others, and we don’t need to compound it. You wouldn’t call your child “stupid,” so why would you do that to yourself? It may be okay to call someone else that, but I don’t recommend it. Instead, I recommend you eliminate it.
Another Bad Word- “Should,” and also, “Have To.”
These words stimulate our unconscious resistance. “You can’t tell me what to do!” They actually make it harder for us to do whatever task we were applying “should” or “have to” to. I recommend you eliminate them from your vocabulary also. You can say “I need to,” or “It would be good if I -,” or even “I’d like to-,” if you can believe it. Form a habit of using alternative statements.
Words have power. Let’s use them wisely.
doug
“Stupid” ( I think made a mistake about the Spanish here. Was that stupid?)
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Hahaha, nice tip, Doug! 😉
I think this vocabulary is too ingrained in me. And being from a generation when spanking children was still acceptable, I think it’s way too ingrained in me to completely give this up. I’ve learned to take the good with the bad and I need, every now and then, to do a bit of negative reinforcement of myself. I know, I know, it’s bad, we’ve discussed this on the comments several times already, but I still need this as a pinch of salt every now and then AND because of you, I’ve learned to correct myself on occasion and actively pat myself on the back when I get something right or acomplish something. Which to me is a serious achievement. 🙂
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Anon-– It pains me to think of you doing that to yourself.
If you feel like you need some negative urging, wouldn’t it be possible to do that without calling yourself names or putting yourself down?
For example, “you didn’t do your best there.“ Or “Come on now, remember to use your strategies.”, Etc.
I believe that calling yourself names or putting yourself down is damaging and makes it harder to improve, not easier. Just my opinion.
Thank you for commenting.
Doug
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Scott- glad to hear this was helpful, and also that you have mastered the second rule (or whichever one it is, I can’t ever keep them straight). and as always, thank you for commenting.
best wishes
doug
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Thank you Doug!
I needed that reminder! As much as I believe that my choices of words effects my frame of mind they still sneak back in. What is that second law? Something like: as soon as I find something that helps, I stop doing it…
All the best, Scott
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