ADD ADHD and Marriage?- Is It Possible??? —ADD Tip o the Day 545

 Marriage Experts

I am not The Expert on ADD ADHD and marriage, that would be Melissa Orlov and Martha Puryear.  I do have some years in the field, but only from one side.  My expertise would be in How to Live With A Partner Who is Extremely Frustrated with You.

But that’s not the book I’m writing right now.

Improve

But you and your partner can identify the behaviors that are most frustrating for them, and can come up with strategies to make those go better.

I worked with one man whose marriage vastly improved when he found a way to get to dinner on time.  Mine improved when I learned how to stop losing my keys.

Cooperate

Ideally, your partner will help you work on the issues – help you devise a strategy, remind you when you forget, monitor things. I just have to remember that this is in the category of helping,  not bossing or criticizing.

The Book

A good first step, if you haven’t already done it, is to get Orlov’s book and you and your partner read and discuss it together. Take small steps.

Your life can be better, and so can theirs.                                                

add,adhd,adult add,adult adhd,attention deficit,add and marriage,add and relationships,adhd and relationships,adhd and marriage

Just looking for a partner.

 

doug

The ADHD Effect On Marriage- Orlov

Orlov’s new book – The Couples Guide to thriving with ADHD

melissa orlov great website on marriage link

great post marriage is for losers

the verbal cue

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About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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6 Responses to ADD ADHD and Marriage?- Is It Possible??? —ADD Tip o the Day 545

  1. Pingback: Caring for Someone With ADHD (ambiguous title) Affection or caretaking?— ADHD Tip O the Day 742 | ADDadultstrategies

  2. Pingback: Tips for Surviving with ADD ADHD — ADD Tip o the Day 730 | ADDadultstrategies

  3. Homey – you are blessed with a husband who listens. They are rare. And I’m not even going to mention his carpentry skills.

    And if they can see that we’re trying, that has to help some.
    Thanks for the comment.
    Done

    Like

  4. Scott Marckx says:

    Actually both my wife and I have ADD. In some ways I think that helps, because we both have to forgive and work on things. There is a little more compassion. I lucked out in marrying someone who is willing to work on a relationship, not just expect it to be there. Also, I think the ADD diagnosis helped us stay together through some rough times. It helped my wife to realize that yes I was trying, but I had this thing that was getting in the way and yes, I’m not like a “normal” person who can just decide to and do something. Reading about ADD together has helped a lot. We have seen the different ways we each display the symptoms and the benefits of ADD and we see how some of my wife’s strengths can help with my weeknesses and vice versa.
    Thank you Doug for your blog and the consistant reminder that it gives me to remember and work on my ADD stuff.

    All the best,
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

    • Scott – this is one of the few comments about the “blessings” of ADD, ADHD, that I’ve read that makes some sense. And I think the working together is the key.
      glad the blog is helpful.
      Thank you as always for commenting.
      Doug

      Like

  5. You are right. Marriage can be tough when one person in a marriage has ADD/ADHD. I think it’s even harder when the non-ADD spouse doesn’t understand ADD and the ADD spouse doesn’t try to improve. My husband, David, didn’t do research or anything but he listened when I talked about the things I learned. And I was always very good about trying to improve – not just for our marriage but for myself. I didn’t want to deal with the issues ADD caused in my life. I wanted to be better.

    Liked by 1 person

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