“Rejection sensitive dysphoria is not a formal diagnosis, but rather one of the most common and disruptive manifestations of emotional dysregulation — a common but under-researched and oft-misunderstood symptom of ADHD, particularly in adults.”
I read this article and dismissed it. I hadn’t seen Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in my patients nor in myself nor read about it elsewhere. And I’ve learned that not everything I read on the net is true, you know what I mean? Then I noticed that the article was by William Dodson, MD. He’s an ADHD guru that I respect. So I read it again.
Guess what? I have it.
My wife occasionally gets mad at me or frustrated with me, often with good reason (I’ll not try to define “occasionally” nor “often.”) She usually gets over it in half an hour or an hour. I’m deeply wounded for a day or two. Sounds like an example of —– Rejection sensitive dysphoria.
Please clk the link and read the article. There’s a lot more to it.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria – Dodson
doug
Bonus Links:
Questions O the Day:
- Anyone else have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
2. Can someone help Scott with Android apps for ADHD? Dinos?
See Scott’s comment:
Thank you for this blog and for your book! I recently got my first smartphone and it is very “Shiny”, as in way to interesting for this ADDer, but I am hoping to use it to help me, as well as be the distraction that it is.
I am wondering if you or any of your readers have any recommendations for an app for an android phone that I can use to make my lists, like the cards in your book with the various lists? I don’t have any real experience with phones like this yet and I figured someone else might have already figured out a good system.
Poem O the Day:
I Was Old for a While
I was old for a while,
And it wasn’t too bad,
then I became old and decrepit.
Decrepit, I don’t care for so much.
Personal notes of the day:
Finished the final draft of Your Life Can Be Better, second edition!!! Whew! Now it’s with Jo for publishing work. Have started again on Alma Means Soul, which I really like.
ADHD Emotions
What can I say?
ADDadultstrategies 
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Hi, Doug!
I think I have that, although I’ve always associated it with childhood trauma: first grade, I got to school and only knew one of the kids – who promptly acted like she didn’t know me – and I was cast aside, spending every single recess playing alone. My mom only got wind of it by the time I was in second grade (aaaah, the eighties! It was like “the kids will know what to do, let’s grab a cup of coffee until we have to deal with those brats again.”). My teacher stood up in class and said my mom had called it to her attention that nobody was playing with me and from that day on, everyone should include me in their games. I was Rudolph without the Christmas-saving-nose. It kinda worked. Kinda.
But I have a very hard time dealing with rejection from my peers. Even an unfriendly person at the supermarket would send me down a spiral of doubt and pain. The meds worked and my rule of thumb is: if I can get over it within a couple of hours, my meds don’t need adjusting.
But being rejected by a group: no meds help. I’m having a hard time right now, partly triggered by people at my work place collectively joining forces against me after I got into a spat with a colleague (I noticed him whispering with others in corners and throwing me sideway glances. I >know< this is not my head making me think weird stuff.
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ram- sorry you’ve had to go thru this.
do you have any friends at work?
sounds like a rough situation. how are you dealing with it?
best wishes
doug
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Thanks, Doug
Well, for now, I don’t have to deal with it. My shrink put me on a medical leave of absence for a month. The stress was so much that I was suffering from bouts of memory loss (it’s getting better, now). But my boss called yesterday and wanted to know if I intend to go back to work and when; because he put an ad looking for people and people are applying and he’d rather keep me, but he needs to know if he should hire someone. The “fun” part is: he’s had an ad for ages and nobody ever applies. And when they do, most don’t bother show up for an intreview. And when they show up, they’re bad. Bud suddenly, after 10 days of my being sick, applicants are running in to knock at his door? Yeah, right … Well if they are, all the better for him.
I politely explained my medical situation has worsened on other sides (currently waiting for an angiogram. I tell you, when it rains, it pours!). I did this even though I’m not obliged to do so by law, and he kept pressing on me about what he should do. So I even more politely explained that I am very sorry but I currently do not have the mental capacity to tell him how to act and he must do as he sees fit.
But you get a feeling of what I’m dealing with here? I mean, he’s not an evil guy with horns, he thinks he’s being a good boss in the middle of this. That lack of sensitivity together with my ADHD is a disaster waiting to happen, so my strategy: get the hell out of Dodge, if you pardon my French!
But first I need to focus on my health. It’ll be fine, I’m sure. The doctors still don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m very confident in them. 🙂
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ram – sorry. this sounds really rough. the good point is that the boss wants to keep you, that’s a compliment and a good recommendation for you.
unrequested advice: hope you are using the time off in helpful ways, even that means letting yourself have a time to do nothing at all. the key is intentionality, you have decided and taken charge.
glad you have good docs. hope all the medical stuff gets sorted out soon and turns out well.
best wishes
doug
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Thanks, Doug 🙂 I rarely have a boss who wants to get rid of me. I know I’m good AND I compensate my personality flaws with a strong work-ethic. But I really am taking charge.
And thanks for the unrequested advice: I will defenitely do so! I get discharged from the hospital tomorrow, if all goes well. And then I’m keeping the focus on me, my health and my future. 🙂 And that includes a lot of doing nothing, on my book… 😉
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ram
didn’t know you were in hospital. hope all turns out well
best wishes
doug
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Hey Doug
We’ll all get over it. Thanks for asking and your well wishes 🙂
Yeah, I was admitted for longer than I cared (6 days) because I had blocked arteries. Second time my body throws clots at me, so that’s strange, but it also gave the doctors a pattern (all seem to come from the knee pit) and a place to look and they found the issue. I’ll need surgery soon to correct it, but I’m confident 🙂
More confident than my family, who insists on burdening me with their doubts when I’m so positive. Knowing they don’t because they worry doesn’t help.
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ram
wow. big stuff. glad you got it diagnosed. keep us informed please. here’s a link, but only if you like macabre humor.
good luck
doug
link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNnus_hth4o
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Thanks for the video, Doug! It’s very amusing! 🙂 People keep sending my funny videos of stays at the hospital (a german cartoon about a guy who just wanted to sleep and dream of big breasted women at the beach but was woken up every 5 minutes for some nurse to take his BP or some other thing, and then leaving and not turning off the light. Very amusing stuff!)
It’s more than a cultural thing, it seems, it’s a worldwide phenomenon! It does seem to bring out the worst in people! I shared the room with an elderly lady for about a day, but I was sedated most of the time, and the next morning, before she left, I was up for it and chatted a bit. Explained about the clotting and her response was “Oh dear… and when the body starts doing that, then there’s really not much of a good outlook, huh?”. 😐 Wow, lady! Bedside manners! I calmly explained that up until a week ago, there was talk of artherosclerosis, but since that was ruled out, the chances of finfind the source of problem and a cure/solution were good,”. She swallowed her words. What I REALLY felt like saying was “Listen up, smarty pants: I’m more than 20 years younger than you and up until a few days, I thought my leg was gonna get amputaded. So as far as I’m concerned, now that it’s rules out, it’s all clear blue skies to me!”.
I’ll keep you posted. In 3 weeks, things will get moving again. Unless something goes wrong *knock on wood* I just have to wait now and let my arteries recover from the angioplasty.
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ram- glad you liked the video. you’ve had some big time stuff. sounds like things will get better now. thank you for commenting and for keeping us up to date.
best wishes
doug
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Scott, I use Google Keep Notes for lists and pin the important ones to the top.
The android calendar that I use is called Business Calander Pro, I spent the extra $ for the upgraded version. I am able to see my families schedules and include my own tasks.
Also, widgets can be your friend.
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ben
thank you
doug
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re: Benjamin’s recommendation on Google Keep, fantastic . i’ve used for many years to emulate your system with the colored note cards + pinning them to the top. it worked really well for me (especially because you can color code the cards!) and I highly recommend it.
you can use it on both an Android and iPhone. if Scott hasn’t seen this yet, please be sure to relay this to him 😃 and he can always email me if he has any other questions about this sort of thing
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dinos
thank you for this. i hope scott reads the comments but I’ll also try to get it to him.
thank you for contributing
doug
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