denial and avoidance — ADD Tip o the day 116

I think we ADDers might use denial and avoidance more than the average person, though they aren’t integral parts of ADD.  

I found a proofreader, and we reached an agreement, and I sent him the book to work on. We had  an agreement about the fee, but it wasn’t specific.  I was clear about what I wanted from him; that was good.  But we didn’t get clear on how he was to do it.  I was avoiding the chance of any conflict with him, and although I thought about it, I denied the need to clarify.  So he revised the book, and it made more work for me than if we’d used a format where the changes he had made were clear.  So I wound up having to use two screens, mine and his, and searching for the changes.  Kind of slow and laborious.  It turned out well though.  He did a good job, and did some editing, which I hadn’t wanted but turned out quite helpful, and the cost was in the ballpark and reasonable.  But the denial and avoidance made things a little harder for me.

Denial and avoidance are two of the primitive defenses, and among the least useful, since they do not deal with reality and problems ignored can get worse.  However, if you are a marine ordered to charge a machine gun, denial is good- you can feel sorry for the guys on your left and your right, who are in danger of getting killed, poor fellows.


i am hoping that the book goes to the publisher this week.


About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at, or (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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