“I hear ya on the time management “tips” on the internet in general…I think most of those are written by people who don’t have ADHD or know much about it. It’s like a sighted person writing “tips for seeing” for blind people! That’s what I appreciate this blog…Doug knows what it’s like, and he offers tips that have worked for him.”
Yep…I’ve sure heard “that’s just an excuse” from my mother (a retired elementary school teacher!) many times about the struggles my children and I have. It doesn’t help that many of us CAN overcome our issues some of the time…people get the idea that we could do it if we really wanted to. It’s true…if I have a 7:30 meeting that I need to be there for and I know it will have a significant impact on my employment if I’m late, I will most likely be there. Same with needing to get my daughter to school early on the day of a class trip so the bus doesn’t leave without her. Folks see that and say, “If you can get to school by 7:30 for a field trip, why can’t you get to school by 8:00 every day?” Which seems logical, and I get why they don’t understand. What they don’t realize is the level of preparation and stress, and the yelling “Let’s go!” every few minutes it took. It’s exhausting, and I just can’t do it every day.
“I love variety (maybe because I’m easily bored by things!), but my life is definitely a lot less stressful when I limit my choices. For example, I now buy one box of cereal, and that’s what’s for breakfast until it’s gone instead of buying my 5 favorite kinds because I don’t know what I’ll be in the mood for. Of course, I had to throw away a LOT of stale, half-used boxes of cereal before I figured it out.”
Tip- if they don’t have it they won’t get it; sorry, but don’t waste your time looking for understanding. Too many choices saps our will power, and eventually could drive us nuts too.
doug
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I just read the book..I am 60 and recently diagnosed…made my 5 to do list yesterday and laid out my clothes for work! That helped so much!
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Shirley
glad it is helping. thank you so much for your comment. hope you will contribute more
best wishes
doug
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Isn’t that the truth! Too many choices is a VERY BAD thing!!!
I write a lot of organization and time management stuff on my blog and I really try to make it realistic and practical – not the same old, same old. Every time I’ve done a search for “time management for ADHD” it says the exact same thing. But it’s pretty much the exact same thing they say for people who don’t have ADHD. Excuse me?! The same methods do not work! On my blog I try to give lots of options and lots of creative ways to manage time and organize so the ADHD, ADD or regular person can all find something to help. And I’ve stopped doing “time management for ADHD” searches because they’re worthless.
Oh, and I’m trying really hard not to give myself too many choices in my daily life.
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patty – excellent point, what works for most might not for us. for example, knowing something is “important’ does not turn our focus center on.
would you share your blog address here please?
thanks for the comments
doug
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i found patty’s blog
http://homemakersdaily.com/
doug
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Thanks, Doug, for mentioning my blog! Here’s an article that might be especially helpful called 10 ADHD organizing strategies that work for everyone. I got a LOT of feedback on this one from folks who struggle with ADD/ADHD: http://homemakersdaily.com/10-adhdadd-organizing-strategies-that-work-for-everyone/
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I read these comments and am always nodding my head in agreement. I’m so tired of trying to pull it all together, and no one understanding how exhausting being “normal” can be.
Just a thought – I won a book from someone – didn’t happen to be on this site, was it?
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robin – i dont think it was here – Your Life Can Be Better?
maybe “being normal” is not the right goal for us?
thank you for commentings.
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Robin, boy I can relate! It is SO exhausting trying to be “normal”. When I was younger and raising my kids, I shared with my girlfriends about my struggles and they looked at me like I was from Mars. Nobody had a clue what I was talking about. It wasn’t until much later that I figured out I had ADHD. I just thought something was wrong with me. All I knew was that I wasn’t like my friends and it took everything I had just to get through the day.
I’ve learned a lot of strategies that have helped but it still takes a lot of effort to hold everything together. But it does get easier.
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I appreciate your words. I am going through a lot of anxiety because my adult son crashed and burned out-of-state and depression has been fatal in my family. Between the ADHD and nerves, I’m not sleeping much. I am working on strategies, but with four hours of sleep under my belt, I am pushing a lot. I am glad to hear it does get easier. I’m much better at not picking up the book at night or starting a new search on the internet. Hope to connect again.
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It is a relief to read this. I know I ruined my health trying to bend to everyone’s expectations while I was raising 3 ADHD sons and my daughter and I with differing amounts of ADD.
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dars – it’s so easy to be influenced by others and get off our own path. I like to say that only God’s opinion of me matters (I say it, but it’s hard to live it.)
you sound like a hero too.
best wishes
doug
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Thank you! I’m glad you are out there helping others go through it with you.
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Reblogged this on Darswords and commented:
I so get this!
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dars-Thanks! I think Lisa has nailed it. and that she’s a hero.
as always, thanks for commenting
doug
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