Shame tip o the day 28

Shame becomes an integral part of our ADD.  It is deep within us and starts deep in our childhood, when we could not meet the expectations of our parents, then our teachers, then others and ultimately ourselves

Missing appointments, forgetting to do things or doing them inadequately, losing things, frantically racing around trying to find them or to get somewhere when we’re late, turning in circles trying to find a way to get started on something-all of these experiences continue to build up our sense of inadequacy, failure and shame.

Therapy is probably the fastest and most reliable way to heal the shame.  But there are other ways.  Good  intimate relationships, spiritual paths, accomplishments.

And certainly using strategies to cut down on those shame building experiences.  With strategies, we can function better and then begin to see ourselves differently than before.

Bonnie Mincu, ADD coach, has a good blurb on shame on her website.  You can find it on the right of this blog.


About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at, or (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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