Psychology of ADD: Defenses — ADD Tip o the day 264

With or without ADD or ADHD, we couldn’t survive without defenses.  But some are more healthy and functional than others.  Healthy – humor, sublimation, altruism, et al.  Unfortunately we tend to some others, like denial and avoidance.

denial – I look at something I’ve done and say “Oh, it’ll be OK.”  It probably won’t.  (I want to be sure this is not perfectionism -it isn’t).  Or “Well, what I said couldn’t have hurt her feelings.”  It did. Or,  “Well, if I messed up the math a little on that tax report, it won’t really matter.  I don’t need to do anything about it.”  It mattered.  Or “I don’t need to write out my talk, I can just wing it.”  Guess what?

avoidance – If it might be difficult, I just stay away from it (this can be procrastination).  I know the taxes are due, but I just can’t seem to get to it.  Or I miss an important meeting because I’d  be uncomfortable -I might blurt out something  inappropriate and it’s embarrassing that I haven’t done my preparation.

The anti-bark dog collar isn’t working anymore, probably the battery, but I’m not sure that’s the problem.  Don’t know how to open it (haven’t looked), or what kind of battery it takes, or where to get one.  Avoiding it.

Strategies:  notice when I’m using denial or avoidance.  “Oh, it’ll be OK.” is a red flag: reconsider.  Keep a list of things I know I’m avoiding, so at least I’m aware.

doug     

The good the bad and the ugly: see the reviews- clik here       your comments???

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About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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2 Responses to Psychology of ADD: Defenses — ADD Tip o the day 264

  1. yes, and it is the same brain, the one with ADD. thank you for your comment

    Like

  2. Betsy Davenport, PhD says:

    Well, you can call it denial, and maybe it is, some of the time. But when I read your examples, I am struck by their familiarity along the dimension of cognition. The brain that has a hard time knowing where to start when cleaning a room, for example, is the brain that can’t latch onto the problem of the dog collar not working. That is an open ended problem and the cognitive demand is sometimes too taxing. Not to make excuses, but there are usually reasons people fail to do what seems easy to most others.

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