Examples of various ADD ADHD symptoms and their bad effects
One of our major symptoms is impulsiveness. That leads to blurting out inappropriately. It also leads to making snap judgments of people, but that’s common with vanillas, too.
And we have trouble controlling our emotions. On rare occasions, I get a brief high, feeling very good, almost silly, and get carried away with myself. I’m pretty sure I’m not bipolar.
When I was a kid, I was in that high state after we won a football game, feeling like a million dollars, ten feet tall. A bowling game wouldn’t work and wouldn’t give me my quarter back, so I stole the disc. That wasn’t like me at all. Got in trouble.
As an adult, I was to be honored at a meeting, and was on a high. I met a woman I liked who was in a position to be very helpful to me. I asked her a very stupid silly joking question and lost any chance of further connection with her.
Similarly, another woman I liked, and who could be helpful, started telling me of a painful situation she was in. I wasn’t high, but I took the opportunity to pour out part of my sad story, on and on. That was the end of the friendship.
I was introduced to a new addition to our family. He made a really stupid inappropriate comment. I wrote him off as a big jerk. But over time, I got to know him better, and it turns out, he is a big jerk.
I was introduced to another guy, and he made a really stupid inappropriate comment. I wrote him off as a big jerk. Much later, I was required to do some work with him. I dreaded it. It turns out, he’s an extremely nice guy.
We have trouble with social skills and relationships
No wonder!
Strategies
- I need to note when I’m in a high. I need to recognize it’s a red flag, and to be careful of what I do or say. Fortunately, it’s not often.
- Similarly, making a snap judgement of someone is a red flag. I need to not immediately write them off.
Hope you had a blessed Thanksgiving.
You say I’m socially inappropriate? What’s this “inappropriate” sh–?
doug
Bonus Link
Niall’s take on ADD ADHD symptoms, especially memory problems and their consequences
#add #adhd #adultadhd @dougmkpdp
@addstrategies
I know these traits well Doug and sympathise!
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ken thank you.
i’m still procrastinating on my big science post. are your still procrastinating on something? is that one of the gifts of ADHD?
thank you for commenting
doug
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Oh I am indeed procrastinating Doug! I have made it into a fine art form…
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ken-well,,everybody has to be good at something. so which one us will break thru 1st?
thanks of the comment
doug
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Great post, Doug! I resonate as well with those high energy times. It feels so great to feel that good and positive, but it’s so unpredictable. Then when I’m not feeling that way, I think other people get confused about me and wonder what happened. I am not bipolar either, at least no professional has told me I am. It just must be a ‘normal’ fluctuation with ADD.
One thing I am trying to learn in regards to social skills is in writing business emails. Sometimes I try to be funny, and it so often is misunderstood. In business, just be about business. No funny business.
Glad to hear your grandson is doing better. Ventilators are scary.
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vicki- yes, business. many times i have seen the absurdity of some business process and have approached it with humor and later on paid for the mistake. i try not to do that anymore.
thank you for the good wishes and for contributing comments
doug
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Good post! Dealing with people is the hardest part for me. I didn’t get why I was so weird about people until I was diagnosed and read on the internet that it was common for us. I do think it’s quite difficult. I don’t notice red flags, but a churning feeling on the stomach tells me when I should be careful about what I’m going to say – though it doesn’t allways work. And when I do something wrong, it’s very important to me to go to the person and apologize and explain very directly that my intentions weren’t bad – and then try to accept that I messed up. The hardest part is when I know that I did everything right and people still give me the cold shoulder like I slighted them – and won’t even explain to me on demand what I did wrong. I guess not only ADHDers have trouble with social skills, then… Just makes it that much harder when two clash. 😦
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ram
good point – you don’t have to have ADD ADHD to have poor social skills – but it helps.
isnt the churning feeling a red flag?
and good for you for apologizing – a lot of people find that hard to do. and even when it isnt accepted, you know you’ve done the right thing.
thank you as always for contributing comments
doug
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Doug, that’s a brilliant post! It sums my situation up perfectly, high one day, lower the next, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, etc. etc.
Oh, and I like control. We’ve just built a house and I had to be involved in every decorating decision, leaving nothing alone to my wife. My excuse is that I need to look at the decorations in the house every day, so I need to choose it with her. But it’s about control.
My life is OK in general though and has improved since I was diagnosed with ADD 3 years ago.
Good luck
Peter
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pw pw – yes, we are not alone. see next post for the control joke.
glad you got diagnosed, its a big step towards your life getting better.
thank you for commmenting
doug
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Scott. Sounds right about the tension. Loved your joke. Michael much better but still on ventilator. Thanks. Doug
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Hi Doug,
I hope your grandson is doing better.
I really get this post, but the other side of it that I am trying to deal with is the tension I create by trying to keep myself in check. Lately I am noticing that I hold tension in my gut. I think it stems from being a control freak. I think the control freak stuff might stem from trying not to do stupid things…
“Knock knock.”
“who’s there?”
“Control freak, now you say ‘control freak who?’!”
All the best,
Scott
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