Escape from structure
Camil and others write about being free of structure, “Relief from all this silly rules.” And “Just let my mind fly anywhere it wants to.”
That sounds wonderful to me, and now that I’m retired, seems like it could be possible.
Would that work for me?
I don’t think so:
1. I do like to be functional and productive.
2. I do not want a divorce.
3. I want to finish this book I’m writing.
4. I do not want my house to fall into disrepair or overwhelming clutter.
5. I would lose my mind (the part I have left).
So I need to regain my structure, which I’ve lost (upcoming post).
Doug
The link to discussion:
link to Camil and adult ADHD website (scroll down to Jenny Derksen)
Bonus Link:
Without too much structure:
ADDadultstrategies 
Pingback: Structure, Schedule – The Secret to ADHD?— ADHD Tip O the Day 876 | ADDadultstrategies
One thing that works for me is I made a list of the things that I consider to be my priorities: Marriage, my Faith, Work, various projects I hope to get done, etc.. Under each one I wrote down some of the things I can do to support that priority. Then I pinned the list up to the wall where I happen to usually do my meditating and journaling. Looking at it every once in a while helps me remember to get back on track and helps me remember where that track is.
It is a given that I will get off track. Getting back on track quickly and efficiently is the challenge.
All the best,
Scott
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The trick, I think, is finding the balance between structure and freedom. I’ve tried using schedules but those make me feel claustrophobic. I’ve tried going the fly by the seat of your pants method and that was a disaster. I function best with flexibility within structure. That’s perfect!
But no structure at all? That’s a recipe for disaster.
No. 3 made me laugh, Doug.
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homey- yes, balance is the key to lots of things, sometimes hard to achieve.
And structure does not have to be in concrete, just because I have a roadmap does not mean that I have to follow it.
but I sure know about the disaster part.
Thanks,
Doug
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When my daughter was in school, every year around April I would be so tired of the schedule and the commitments that I’d yearn for the openness of summer. And by August I could not wait for school to start so we’d have some structure!
I think this is the continuing tension in the life of many of us with ADD. Need structure, weary of lists and schedules, want to not be constricted, and without guardrails on impulse there is a trail of stuff around the house and things are not done that if done would make life work so much better.
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Betsy
just personally, I don’t find lists and schedules and structure burdening or constricting, but like homey says I tried to use them flexibly. But I know some people who find a schedule very constricting and like to fly by the seat of their pants. For me, it’s disaster.
Thank you for commenting.
Doug
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Sometimes, within structure, I can still ” let my mind fly anywhere it wants to.” Like when I am doing a job that doesn’t require that much mental energy, I can also think about things, try design ideas for the latest project, remember that time out in the boat, practice a tune in my head, etc.. The problem for me is sometimes I let my mind fly and then find that my body follows and I leave what I am supposed to be doing and go off to do something that really should be done in a different time and place. When I had a boss, that didn’t happen so much. The extra structure of having a boss helped. Now that I am self employed, I have to find ways to impose that missing structure on myself or I don’t get the things done that I need to and get myself into trouble. Summer is an especially difficult time, with the garden growing out of control, great boating weather, music things happening, visitors, hikes to go on, and all the rest. It seems that I just start to find a rhythm of structure and then something comes along and knocks it down and I get distracted for a time, then, slowly start to find structure again…
The cards and journaling and meditation have helped to get me back a little quicker, but it always seems to be a struggle.
All the best,
Scott
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I can’t read the FB link b/c I’m not a member of that group. However, I will say I personally believe that structure is absolutely necessary for those who have ADHD. How do you go from A-Z without it. Structure is one of the ways to manage ADHD. It doesn’t have to be rigid. When you don’t have structure in your own life, it ends up negatively affecting others. I tell people, it’s not always about you. One of the reasons I quit my most recent job was because of my ADHD supervisor who has no respect for structure and doesn’t understand why it exists. Working with her meant chaos, disorder and confusion for everyone.
#2 and #4, very important!
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GFF- i hope you can see the post and comments here?
yes, i can’t function without structure, I start spinning in circles, screaming , and would be tearing my hair if i was able to get ahold of any.
and your point is great, it’s not just my distress, but i mess up other people’s lives too.!
thank you for commenting.
doug
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