Too Disorganized
I enjoyed meeting again with my friend, the lovely lady who claims that she’s too disorganized to get organized, or to use any of the tips or strategies. She says she doesn’t have shirt pockets, although she guesses she could redo her wardrobe and get them. (Would it maybe be worth it to do that? I don’t think she was serious.)
A Bad Suggestion
I wondered if she could put a little pouch for notes on chain around her neck, but she said she would just lose the chain and the pouch. (plus, she would need to look at the notes!)
Using a cell phone
She does have a cell phone, but she doesn’t remember to look at it. (I didn’t suggest that she could make this a habit; using an anchor would be one strategy.)
I carry my cards in my pocket and check them several times a day. And my cell phone is always in my pants pocket (that’s not entirely true, but I am working on it. Thankfully, I can use my wife’s phone to call mine and find it by the ring.)
Please Help
So, dear readers, help us out here: What works for women??
Quote o the Day – “The man who claims he understands women doesn’t understand that he doesn’t understand women.”
doug puryear (i just now made that one up)
A Truism
A problem has to bother you a lot before you would be willing to go to the hard work and effort to work on making changes to solve it.
(And ADHD can demoralize us so much that we’re not willing to try. But I believe we can form new habits to make our lives better, if it’s worth the trouble.)
doug
you can be beautiful without being organized
Bonus links o the Day
ADDadultstrategies 
I’m a professional organizer. I work with many ADHD clients and also have a daughter with severe ADHD. When my daughter has things she needs to do we put a short note on a very colorful post-it, each item is on a different color and post them on the edge of the TV. She always looks at the TV. The trick is to never have more than 3-5 post-its at a time. I also had a client that would forget important items (like phone, wallet, keys) so we made a checklist and put it at eye level on the inside of the front door. Couldn’t leave without seeing it. Changed the color of the paper occasionally so it was “new & noticeable”.
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lee-
good tips! and it’s so important to change the colors or our brain quickly gets used to the notes and won’t see them.
thank you for commenting
doug
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It almost sounds like your friend isn’t really open to trying anything. I don’t know her so I don’t know if that’s the case – but she’s going to have to try and that might mean learning some new habits.
I have a planner, a phone and a purse I take with me pretty much everywhere. I don’t have to think about it – I just always grab those 3 things. I need them. The help me. They make my life work better. When I’m home, I have my cell phone in one of a couple of locations. I have my purse either hanging on the hook by the front door or sitting on my desk chair. I have my planner wherever I am – usually on the kitchen table, my desk or the table next to the couch. Sometimes I have my phone sitting on my planner. But I always know where they are. Some women combine their wallet and their planner. I’ve never done that but I know it works very well for them. Then they can skip the purse if they want to.
You could have a central location in your house where you kept all your “stuff”. Then when you needed it, you went to that location. You could also have some kind of a tote bag with all your stuff in it. You could move it around with you or leave it in one central location. I’ve actually thought about doing something like that.
My stepdad had a brain injury about 15 years ago. As a result, he has short term memory loss. He doesn’t have ADHD but he still deals with forgetting things and getting distracted. His strategy is to carry around a little notebook and a pen or pencil. He ALWAYS has it with him. He keeps it in his pocket. Whenever something comes up, he writes it down. He does very well using his little notebook.
There’s always something that will work – but you have to be willing to try to figure it out.
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homey – keys are: 1. one location 2. habit ” i dont have to think about it” 3. “always with him”
and two other essential ingredients are : 1. you have to look at it frequently 2. it has to bother you enough that you’re willing to do the work to problem solve and make the habit
thank you for the comment
doug
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Well, it bothering you enough you want to change it is a big one. I have a family member who doesn’t write anything down and she frequently gets herself I I BIG trouble. We were talking about it one day and both came to the conclusion that those situations just didn’t bother her enough to change how she does things.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t live that way and took steps to prevent those kinds of things.
Each to his own.
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Oops. That anonymous comment was me. I wrote it on my iPhone and didn’t realize I wasn’t logged in.
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I hope I didn’t sound mean with my original comment. I didn’t intend to. It just didn’t sound like she wanted to change. I’ve done the same thing many times. I talk to my husband about the same issues over and over but don’t do what he says. So he doesn’t like giving me advice. Oops. I should work on that.
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homey
didnt sound mean to me, everyone is different, something that might drive me crazy might not bother someone else very much, one way of coping is to just accept the way things are.
my learning is that when women talk about problems often they are ventilating and may not necessarily be looking for advice about them – this is a hard lesson for many men to learn
thanks for the comments
doug
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exactly!!!
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Does your friend carry a purse? I find that using a smart phone doesn’t work for me because you have to get it out, turn it on, get to the app where your 3 to-dos are without getting side tracked. Too much business. Cards are easier. I have a larger calendar than you recommend (at-a-glance), and I carry it in my purse. I have my cards paper clipped to the cover.
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colleen – i dont know if there’s a the purse. but if she had it and had the cards in it, she still would need to make the habit of looking at them. and of keeping them in that purse and of not losing it, etc. your statements about a smart phone are just right for me, plus i’m terrified of losing it. but i like it for the alarms function and being able to dictate notes to myself.
thank you for the comment
doug
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