ADD and ADHD and Change and Retirement and Structure and Menopause and and and — Add Tip o the Day 456

Trying to do too much, typical ADD. I want to address that, and further address the great suggestions/questions I got, and also the new NYT article on ADHD and ritalin etc, and  and — don’t you see?  This could turn out to be a long post.

Scott asked about how to create structure, routine, strategies, habits, and maintain them, and how to get back on track when you’re off.  So I responded using my recent retirement as an example.  Because, Boy, am I off track right now!  But I need to address the question more specifically.

Scott Marckx says:

January 6, 2014 at 9:42 pm (Edit)

Here’s something I would like to get better at this year:
Learning how to put together and live a more regular schedule and how to get back to it when I get side tracked. Sort of make a habit out of enough parts of my life that it becomes a little less work trying to figure out what I need to do right now and just do it so I have more brain left for the other decisions. Things this schedule might include:
Regular time to get up and go to sleep
regular work time
exercise time
prayer time
time to get off the computer or limited time on the computer
good eating habits
time for others

Stuff like that. How does one go about getting in these habits and adding to them (realistically) and how does one get back to them when lost?

Your book has helped me a lot. Maybe it is time for me to read it again?
Thank you!

Margaret ask about ADHD and menopause, time management, and so how to function when you’ve got every thing off track and are overwhelmed, and when there’s been big change (like my retirement).  

homemakersdaily says:

January 6, 2014 at 2:53 pm (Edit)

I really struggle with time management. I used to do pretty well as long as I used my planner but now that I’ve added menopause to the mix, I’m really floundering. For a while I couldn’t even make a to-do list. I’d sit on the couch in the evening and try but I just couldn’t do it. I finally talked to my doctor about it (along with some other issues – like brain fog) and he put me on a low dose of an anti-depressant. I felt better quickly but I’m still struggling with the time management issue. I’m overwhelmed and keep switching from planner to planner without settling on one. It’s making me crazy and I feel really out of control. I don’t know what day it is or what I need to do. I’ve never been like this before. We’ve also had a LOT of changes. I’ve learned in the past that it takes me about 6 months to switch gears. But these days the changes have come faster than that and I haven’t been able to settle into any kind of routine. I’ve read your time management strategy in your book but I’m not sure it would work for me. I need to write EVERYTHING down so I can see the whole picture. Anyway, more stuff on time management would be helpful. Maybe and how ADHD and menopause are related.

Since I didn’t know much about ADHD and menopause I researched it.  So this could apply to menopause, or having the flu, or going through a depression, or any time of heavy stress.  This is what I found:  see if your doctor can help, use your usual tools and strategies, realize that you are not at your best and won’t be able to do as well as usual.  Try to be nice to yourself, cut back where you can, lower expectations and take it a little easy.  This too shall pass.

So I really like retirement, but it has surprised me, isn’t like I expected.  The big internal flywheel has slowed and the sense of time pressure has lessened, but they’re not gone. I haven’t gotten the hang of it yet, and don’t have things organized.  Lacking structure.  But it’s been less than a month. So many things I want to do and hard to choose, prioritize, and know where to start.

So I’ve been getting this message over and over recently, in various ways, but haven’t really heard it, until this morning.  Our wonderful new priest spoke about God loves us, as we are, and we don’t have to be always striving to improve.  

Finally, I think I got it.  “Relax.”   I still need to prioritize, let go of some want to do’s, create structure, set goals, and so on, but there’s no great hurry about it. It will all fit into place with time.


Will try to address these issues again and soon, and more specifically.  But maybe get the new NYT article on medications in next.  Can’t do them all at once, don’t you see?

Still looking for requests and suggestions for topics; really appreciate them.    

Tip 455 on this   clik           

on a new anti ADHD book (ignorance is bliss?)  clik         

add,adhd,adult add,adult adhd,attention,deficit

a little too much going on?

About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at, or (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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3 Responses to ADD and ADHD and Change and Retirement and Structure and Menopause and and and — Add Tip o the Day 456

  1. Pingback: ADD ADHD and Change of Schedule – – – ADD Tip o the Day 521 | ADDadultstrategies

  2. homey- yes, i’m not the same as 10 years ago either, but, i am only going to keep getting older (God willing), while menopause is going to pass. glad this helped.


  3. “try to realize that you are not at your best and won’t be able to do as well as usual. Try to be nice to yourself, cut back where you can, lower expectations and take it a little easy. This too shall pass.”

    That’s exactly what I needed to hear, Doug. I’m not at my best. But I’m pushing myself to be the same person I was 10 years ago and it isn’t going to happen. I’m not her anymore. I’m older; I have different priorities (grandkids, now); I’m going through menopause and it’s kicking my butt! So I do need to ease up and take it easy and stop acting like everything’s the same as it was. Everything’s changed and I need to adjust my expectations.

    Thanks for the pep talk. It was just what I needed to hear.


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