Toxic — ADD Tip o the Day 419

Some people are toxic for us and it is better to avoid or minimize contact.  A christmas card once a year can be a good way to stay in contact.  or not.

I also recommend, the Dance of Anger, by Lerner.  sometimes we need to speak up and address the toxic behavior.  For one hypothetical example – ” I feel hurt when you make fun of my ADD.  I would like you to stop.  If you do it again, i am going to break off contact for a week to heal.  and the next time, it will be two weeks.  and the next time three.  and so on.  I will miss you, but the ridicule is damaging to me, and I plan to minimize my exposure.”

They will probably test you to see if you mean it; don’t say it unless you mean to follo thru.  But what if you are married to them or otherwise intimately  connected?  Then I suggest you consider counseling, preferably together, and give some hard thinking to why you are staying in that relationship.

best wishes, doug


add,adhd,adult add,adult adhd,attention,deficit, relationships

It’s not all roses.

denise’s discussion clik

About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at, or (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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