Toxic — ADD Tip o the Day 419

Some people are toxic for us and it is better to avoid or minimize contact.  A christmas card once a year can be a good way to stay in contact.  or not.

I also recommend, the Dance of Anger, by Lerner.  sometimes we need to speak up and address the toxic behavior.  For one hypothetical example – ” I feel hurt when you make fun of my ADD.  I would like you to stop.  If you do it again, i am going to break off contact for a week to heal.  and the next time, it will be two weeks.  and the next time three.  and so on.  I will miss you, but the ridicule is damaging to me, and I plan to minimize my exposure.”

They will probably test you to see if you mean it; don’t say it unless you mean to follo thru.  But what if you are married to them or otherwise intimately  connected?  Then I suggest you consider counseling, preferably together, and give some hard thinking to why you are staying in that relationship.

best wishes, doug

doug

It’s not all roses.

denise’s discussion clik