Some people are toxic for us and it is better to avoid or minimize contact. A christmas card once a year can be a good way to stay in contact. or not.
I also recommend, the Dance of Anger, by Lerner. sometimes we need to speak up and address the toxic behavior. For one hypothetical example – ” I feel hurt when you make fun of my ADD. I would like you to stop. If you do it again, i am going to break off contact for a week to heal. and the next time, it will be two weeks. and the next time three. and so on. I will miss you, but the ridicule is damaging to me, and I plan to minimize my exposure.”
They will probably test you to see if you mean it; don’t say it unless you mean to follo thru. But what if you are married to them or otherwise intimately connected? Then I suggest you consider counseling, preferably together, and give some hard thinking to why you are staying in that relationship.
best wishes, doug
denise’s discussion clik