Bryan, in a post on his great website, ADDERWorld, a community site for those of us with ADD or ADHD, talks about the usefulness of “No”. We ADDers tend to take on too much, and we have trouble saying “No” to others, but also to ourselves. We want to do it all. This post is about saying “No” to others.
I was privileged to hear Ann Lamott, one of my four favorite authors (Lamott, Annie Dillard, Gabriella Marquez, Jose Saramago)speak. One of the points she made was that “No.” is a complete sentence.
AA also teaches about “JADE” – meaning you don’t have to justify, argue,defend or explain. Just “No.”
“But why not?”
“But it would be easy for you.”
“No.” or sometimes – “What part of ‘No’ do you not understand?”
For those of us who have trouble with this (I personally don’t always find it easy, but generally easier than the alternative, doing something I really didn’t want to and then resenting it (as though the other person was to blame, rather than my taking responsibility for my caving in); as I was saying, for those who have trouble with this, I recommend The Dance of Anger, by Lerner.
I am a psychiatric physician.
I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. I just published my first novel, Alma Means Soul.
Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD
available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books)
Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book).
This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year.
As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation.
Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them.
The Bully was published in January, 2016.
It's in print or e book, on Amazon.