Discouraged, Demoralized, Depressed —- ADD Tip o the Day 349

If you have ADD or ADHD do you ever get into this state?  If you haven’t, then I question the diagnosis, but if you want to experience this, here’s the recipe for how to get there:

think of what you haven’t done yet and all that you still have to do, not just the next thing, but everything.

think of it as “have to’ or “should”, not “need to” or “want to”.

reflect on all your failures and screw ups.

call your self names, like  “loser”; pronounce yourself a failure.

compare your self to others – they are doing so much better than you.

As an added bonus, you can also use this same recipe to become paralyzed.

doug  ADD,ADHD,adult ADD,adult ADHD,deficit,attention

Dana Acuri’s post and comments amply illustrate this clik here

                                                                 choose, sun or shadow?

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About doug with ADHD

I am a psychiatric physician. I learned I have ADHD at age 64, and then wrote two ADHD books for adults, focusing on strategies for making your life better. Your Life Can Be Better; strategies for adults with ADD/ADHD available at amazon.com, or smashwords.com (for e books) Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD: 365 Tips O the Day ( e-book). This is one tip at a time, one page at a time, at your own pace. It's meant to last a year. As a child, I was a bully. Then there was a transformation. Now I am committed to helping people instead abusing them. The Bully was published in January, 2016. It's in print or e book, on Amazon.
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10 Responses to Discouraged, Demoralized, Depressed —- ADD Tip o the Day 349

  1. I am in that state of mind right now unfortunately. I was a special ed. teacher for three years and was fired right before receiving tenure. I had perfect observations, reviews and was let go for “organization and communication” issues. I fully believe I was fired because I told my director I had ADD. I looked at how hard I worked at getting my degree and teaching certs., and how much time and effort it took to land a job, and I get discouraged now. I feel like a total screw up and failure and very depressed. Some days are better than others and I try to be positive about it, but it is so hard to not feel like a loser right now who is collecting unemployment. I do not even have the confidence to move on to find a new teaching job. When you have ADD, you have to work so much harder to prove yourself and to achieve your goals. For some reason, I have found that when you have ADD, some people will love you and some will dislike you.. even when they barely know you. It was so tough even trying to make friends at the school I worked at. Deep down I feel like my ADD ruined my career, and it is so tough to move on and look forward to the future, but all I can do is hope that things will work out again for me. What is even tougher is I cannot take my medicine (because I am pregnant) so I am not getting very much done… sigh..

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    • wow, chica, very sad. I’m sorry you’re having such trouble. wish I had answers. Thoughts: identify as small and specifically as possible the problems you had at school (sounds like you actually were doing well, from the good reviews?) and come up with strategies. consider therapy and or a coach; you don’t need depression on top of ADD.
      exercise and sleep.
      thank you for commenting
      best wishes, doug
      “Ritalin is a stimulant classified as Class C, which means its safety has not been determined in clinical trials with pregnant women. However, no major birth defects have been found in case studies according to the 2007 book “Drugs During Pregnancy and Lactation: Treatment Options and Risk Assessment” by Christof Schaefer and others. Pregnant women with ADHD should consult their doctors to determine if taking Ritalin is absolutely necessary; otherwise it should be abstained from to protect the fetus.”

      Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/234294-what-effects-does-ritalin-have-during-pregnancy/#ixzz2Fid0DjCA

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  2. I always feel like I’m not doing a very good job at anything. I was complaining about my productivity to my brother-in-law one day and he said to me: “What is it that you want to accomplish that you’re not doing? Your house is in order; your bills are paid; your life looks good.” I think about that comment a lot and it reminds me that my expectations are too high and I’m focusing on the negative too much. So sometimes I ask myself the question: “What is it that I think I should have done that I haven’t?” Sometimes there’s a list but a lot of times I’m good.

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  3. Lisa says:

    Indeed…I feel that way, not usually every day (although there are times!), but frequently enough. I often feel like I’m trying to “pass for normal” in my day to day life. As the single mom (with ADHD) of an almost 17 year old son with bipolar disorder, various anxiety issues, and probable ADHD and a 12 year old daughter with ADHD plus a yet to be definitively identified learning disorder(s), we’re pretty darn far from normal most of the time! Intellectually, I know that my focus should be on being FUNCTIONAL, not normal, and a lot of the time I’m OK with that. My kids are fed, clothed, cared for, and most importantly loved…yeah, my house is a mess, and I might have to fly by the seat of my pants, but it’s OK. But some days I feel really low because I don’t live up to the ideal that I have in my mind of the mom I thought I’d be and wanted to be. So yeah, I can definitely relate!

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  4. Yup. Check and check. All of the above accurately describe the frequent reality of my inner dialogue that I encounter every day. It’s quite seductive to continually compare myself to others I deem as “more” ____________(fill in the bank). There is something about the low self esteem generated as a result of ADHD functioning that really starts to close in on empathy for myself and just how hard I actually try to measure up in a world of institutions that so often feel set up against me.

    However, it’s reading posts like these that helps me regulate my inner critic and hold off on more emotional battery to myself. It’s SO encouraging to know that this phenomenology is so common to those, who like me, also struggle with ADHD.

    For me, constantly staving off the feeling of impending doom and bracing myself for getting in trouble in some way shape or form… is an area I am holding my attention. How to make more space for other alternatives, possibilities, than the notion that I am inherently “bad”, “defiant”, or “lazy”.

    Great post. thank you ❤ Will muster up the good juju from this validation and use it towards my current productivity needs in this moment . . .

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  5. wiser – i believe that is damaging (even in jest, which it usually isnt). we can use a strategy of spotting and stop doing it.
    how can you change your life from a rut? i believe it is doable.
    best wishes,
    doug

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  6. Every day of my life is a rut. And I have used the word loser on many an occasion. I believe I referred to myself as Losery McLoserson the other day on my blog.

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