This just in from my sister, Lucy, who does not have ADD or ADHD, but has been supportive of my struggles and was one of the courageous reviewers of the terrible early drafts of the book:
“A hint for the overwhelmed/compelled – The Have Done List –
On the days that The to Do List (3,5, whatever)- or just the thought of making The TD List is too depressing; just start your day,..- then in a few hours make a list of those what you have accomplished so far (got up, brushed my teeth, petted the dog). You might be surprised to find that is a great motivator to do more. Works for me! (for who like variety, it helps: maybe not so much for the OCD). I have even gone so far as not granting it the title of List (-so there, take that you taskmaster)”
This incorporates a lot of the strategies -rewards, do something! , get started ( I often pick up the dog poop first thing, and feel good -” well, that’s behind me, and I’ve already gotten something done”). And it’s good to give ourself credit for what we do, and quit beating ourself up for what we haven’t (that’s also a good child-rearing strategy), and if we are using a TD list it feels good to cross something off.
Thank you, Lucy!
doug
This post also illustrates another good strategy – take things as easy as you can. Lucy just handed me a ready made post, so I don’t need to think one up for today.
I appreciate all comments, hope each of you will feel called to contribute
“you have to show up to see the miracles” Scott
Pingback: Do a To- Do List or Don’t Do a To-Do List? — ADHD Tip O the Day 740 | ADDadultstrategies
Pingback: Distractions | Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD
Pingback: From ADD Tip o the Day | Living Daily With Adult ADD or ADHD
Pingback: Schedule and Structure and Routine — ADD Tip o the Day 455 | ADDadultstrategies
Pingback: Numbers, numbsers, numners!! — ADD Tip o the Day 289 | ADDadultstrategies
I don’t title my lists either. I the idea of giving yourself credit, it kind of makes you want to do more.I have been struggling with my lists, so I had to shorten them, I would make the list and stare at it and just get overwhelmed thinking about what I need to do. Anyway enjoyed the post, you have a great sister too.
LikeLike
yes, thats why i recommend the list of five, no more, and some days i really need to make a list of one, and then another one later. and yes about the sister too, she has been huge support to me. we can always use support.
thank you for commenting, its always appreciated.
LikeLike
Sometimes 5 is plenty and I have to par it down to three, or I just ignore it. It is a challenge to have both, but I am learning the differences and that helps me a great deal o steer my myself in the right direction.
LikeLike
great!
these things take practice.
(not sure what you meant by ‘both’?)
best wishes and thanks
doug
LikeLike
I have found that every person has to develop strategies that are highly individualized and very specific, to that person. It’s inefficient; someone else’s trick won’t work. But what will work is a certain bent of mind, keeping the eye on what you’re of strategy is our is not likely to work. At this point, if you suggested one to me, I’d know immediately whether it has a chance of helping, whether it doesn’t, and if it did, what adjustment I’ll have to make for it to be useful to me. People who can’t get interested in that process don’t do as well at becoming effective.
LikeLike
exactly!
we are so similar and yet each different, unique.
I think the general principle of “identify problem, devise strategy, make rule, make a habit” is great but even it doesn’t work for everyone – some people cant tolerate the idea of a rule (Tom).
and i like your point of not just rejecting a strategy, but considering how it might need adjusting to work for you.
always grateful for your comments
LikeLike
I also have bipolar, making it a extra challenge.
LikeLike
well, just wrote a reply but think it got lost (ADD).
yes, that is a big challenge. just as some of the symptoms overlap, so do some of the things that help – sleep, exercise, reduce stress, structure, and medications (but different ones). thank you for writing
best wishes
doug
LikeLike
Thank you Doug, I try to practice good habits, I do pretty good, except for sleep. I never seem to get enough of it. I have gotten good at noticing the overlaps, and telling which is which.
LikeLike
good for you. it is hard work. knowledge is power.
LikeLike
This is good. And reminds me of the many times I’ve added to a list things I did but had not listed ahead of time. Someone once scoffed at that as I wrote and immediately crossed off, but I felt then as I do now that the list is a tool, my tool, and as such can be used in a way that is helpful; thus, crossing off what I have done for the satisfaction it brings me is a good use of the tool.
LikeLike
yes, positive re inforcement is so powerful, and we need to pay attention to ways to get it, including or especially giving it to ourselves.
I gave my sister some postive reinforcement by e mailing your comment to her.
thanks
doug
LikeLike