“Doug, we surely don’t feel brilliant most of the time. Those “extra gifts and talents”, you mentioned, are where we shine, but it is usually obscured by years of false expectations (by other as well as by ourselves) to do everything like non-ADHDers, in schools and jobs that don’t fit us.”
from ronen amit on ADHD adults, linked in group
Yes, we suffer from the expectations of others of how we should be functioning -“You just need to try harder.” – and that the same approach to education, work, marriage, etc will work for everyone. And we do it to ourselves too, and the result is shame, which makes it harder to cope with our ADD or ADHD and feeds into the ongoing feedback loop.
We need strategies to help us cope in the way that works for us. Then sometimes we are indeed brilliant.
plus we need to be knowledgeable when choosing our education, jobs, and partners