Our inner critic can really sabotage us, especially if we have ADD or ADHD and there are so many opportunities for criticism and it falls on such fertile ground. But we can use strategies to cope:
1. spotting – this is noticing and naming it whenever The Critic starts to speak- “Oh, I know what that is, it’s just the old Critic again.”
2. defend yourself. Be a defense attorney for yourself. Argue, refute, bring up facts- “What do you mean I never finish anything?! Last month I finished that project and the boss even complimented me on it!” or “That’s a lie! Sometimes I do stick with things. I didn’t stick with the tennis but I have been fly fishing now for 17 years, and besides that I’m getting pretty good at it!”
3. distract yourself- find something else to do or to think about, or someone to talk to.
4. stop and make a list – write it down- of all the accomplishments you feel good about, all the things you’ve finished, followed through on, succeeded with.
5. just proceed, no matter what The Critic says. Ignore it.
6. therapy is more a solution than a strategy, learning where The Critic came from, why it’s there and hopefully modulating it and turning it into an ally instead of a saboteur – it is useful to take an honest look at ourself, but The Critic is not honest – just gives the negative side of the picture, exaggerates it, and makes it a personal attack. Who needs that?
We don’t have to let The Critic hold center stage unchallenged or to control our life.
I know I just used the ostrich but he seemed perfect for this one.
was this a tip or an exhortation?