Tag Archives: adult

Patience? With ADD, Not So Much —- Add tip o the Day 434

With ADD or ADHD, are we short on both willpower and patience?   Aren’t they related somehow? I was looking for some information on a website and was forced to sit thru the first part of a video to be able … Continue reading

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Toxic — ADD Tip o the Day 419

Some people are toxic for us and it is better to avoid or minimize contact.  A christmas card once a year can be a good way to stay in contact.  or not. I also recommend, the Dance of Anger, by … Continue reading

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Sit and Be — ADD tip o the day 360

Getting better at this.  Just sitting takes discipline (willpower, self control) which is not a strong point with ADD or ADHD.  I say, “Oh, yeah, I will sit right after I finish this blog.” and then I jump right into something else instead.  … Continue reading

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meds and foods — ADD Tip o the Day 309

There is a lot of controversy around medications and food, especially in ADD and ADHD. Although there are strong believers, I don’t think there is any really good evidence that additives or diet have much effect on ADD or ADHD. … Continue reading

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Get outdoors —- ADD Tip o the Day 308

Why does getting out doors help with ADD or ADHD? It’s  a big help, up there with getting enough sleep and exercising.  I don’t know why.  Maybe it helps clear our mind for awhile, like sitting.  My sitting works best when I … Continue reading

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Criticism reviews —ADD Tip o the day 307

Are you excessively sensitive to criticsm?  I don’t know that ADD or ADHD makes us extra sensitive, but maybe it does – our self esteem can be pretty fragile. I’ve had two negative reviews so far.  I’ve been told that … Continue reading

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“That won’t work for me.” —- ADD Tip o the Day 306

Sometimes I hear that when I suggest a strategy for ADD or ADHD – “That won’t work for me.”  Seems like four possibilities: 1.  they’ve never tried it. 2. they tried it, but not in an effective way. 3. if … Continue reading

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The Principle — ADD Tip o the Day 301

The principle is :  identify the problem, make a strategy, make it a rule, make it a habit. Magpie did just this when she suggested a holder to hold my keys onto the gas pump, so I wouldn’t keep driving … Continue reading

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Things that are good for ADD or ADHD — ADD Tip o the Day 300

(ADD tip o the day 300!  imagine!!!) These things are good for ADD or ADHD: sleep, exercise, structure, get out of doors Someone just posted that taking the ritalin just before bedtime helped him calm his mind enough that he … Continue reading

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“Just Try Harder” — ADD tip o the Day 297

If you have ADD or ADHD, didn’t you hear this growing up? Repeatedly?  “You just need to try harder.”  Did you learn the habit of saying this to yourself? There used to be a flyer for ADD or ADHD with a picture … Continue reading

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Hard days — ADD Tip o the day 295

Some days are hard.  I  feel overloaded, not at my best, disorganized, and I can’t get started.  That’s all part of ADD or ADHD, and we need strategies. 1.  if I have more than 5 things on my list of … Continue reading

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Self flogging — ADD Tip o the Day 293

I don’t know if self flogging is a  part of ADD or ADHD, or if we  just have more occasions to do it.  Roni posted about this on ADDer World, and she plans to stop  it, which is good.  Self flogging … Continue reading

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Topics from ADDerWorld —- ADD Tip o the Day 291

ADDerWorld is a great website - clik here-for us with ADD or ADHD.  Three current topics caught my eye – addiction to games, can’t clean room, and self flogging. I was addicted to computer games, war games, loved them.  Fun, challenging, … Continue reading

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Numbers, numbsers, numners!! — ADD Tip o the Day 289

Well, I type letters better than I type numbers, or dial them (or write them down).  With my ADD (or ADHD), I need to carefully double check when I write down a phone number or when I dial one.  Especially … Continue reading

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The Have Done Non List — ADD Tip o the Day 287

This just in from my sister, Lucy, who does not have ADD or ADHD, but has been supportive of my struggles and was one of the  courageous reviewers of the terrible early drafts of the book: “A hint for the … Continue reading

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Notes — ADD Tip o the Day 286

With ADD or ADHD taking notes is essential, like making lists.  But we need strategies even for that. For notes to be useful, they need to be legible, understandable, and locatable. 1. I use the index cards that are always … Continue reading

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Still sitting —- ADD Tip o the Day 285

The just sitting experiment is back on track after a brief detour.  Hard to do with ADD or ADHD. The strategy of using meal times as anchors to remember to sit did not work, so I’m just doing it when … Continue reading

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OCD and ADD — ADD Tip o the Day 284

Remember the movie, As Good As It Gets?  Jack Nicholson with OCD.  That’s the disorder, with symptoms.  But there is a spectrum, from style, traits, personality disorder, to (neurosis) disorder.  The majority of American males have obsessive-compulsive style, which doesn’t really … Continue reading

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Expectations — Add Tip o the Day 282

We with ADD or ADHD tend to overexpect, of ourselves.  We underestimate how long something will take to do and overestimate how much we can get done in a day.  Then we get disappointed with ourself and tend to feel … Continue reading

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Does it really matter? — ADD Tip o the day 281

“Is it really important?”  Our grandson is in the hospital, and we were taking a break by going to a movie (Marigold Hotel - great!).  Looked like we were going to be late, and I noticed myself getting all up tight … Continue reading

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The i phone and ADD: an adventure — ADDTip o the day 275

Kids gave me an i phone for christmas, said I needed it.  I didn’t realize that, thought I was doing fine without it.  Dystechnologica can accompany ADD or ADHD.  Steep learning curve.  Why do half my fotos come out upside down?  How do I get … Continue reading

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Sitting ???? —- ADD Tip o the day 274

Still trying the experiment.  Two surprises:  One, how hard it is to get myself to do it.  I say, “After I do this, I’ll sit.”  Finish this, find myself doing something else.  Repeat the process.  Then when I finally sit, … Continue reading

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The stress of coping with ADD — ADD Tip o the Day 273

She had read the book, and said, “It seems like you try so hard, it might be easier to just have ADD.”         or ADHD. Well, no. A) if I didn’t have strategies and keep working at it, my whole life … Continue reading

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Bookkeeping?— ADD Tip o the Day 272

Do I hate bookkeeping because I’m no good at it, or am I no good at it because I hate it?  Or because I have ADD? (can you think of any other word in English with kk in it?) Maybe it … Continue reading

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Tidbits — ADD Tip o the Day 271

1. the blog has reached 9000 hits!  thank you all!  The book has sold over 1800 copies, the majority on kindle.  Thank you again! Very surprised and very pleased. 2.  I am reading and recommending 3 books: Willpower – baumeister Thinking, … Continue reading

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Exercise and ADD — ADD Tip o the day 270

Exercise and sleep help us function better if we have ADD or ADHD.  Strategies for exercise:  A: Make sure it’s not a chore, an unpleasant task.                             B: Make it a priority.                                                                                  C: Make it a routine, a habit. … Continue reading

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Being and ADD —- ADD Tip o the day 269

I’m trying a new discipline (strategy, skill) which is quite difficult with ADD or ADHD, of just being three times a day.  I will sit and just be for a few minutes.  This is not meditation, which requires not getting … Continue reading

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Comorbid: ADD and addiction —- ADD Tip o the day 260

We with ADD or ADHD are  more prone to addictions: alcohol, pot, stimulating drugs because they make us more focused, sedating drugs because they calm us, gambling, exercise, the internet -email, facebook, freecell, porn, etc – because these help us escape … Continue reading

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Willpower #4 —- ADD Tip o the day 267

I’m reading a great book, Willpower, by Baumeister.  We start each morning with a pool of psychic energy, which gets depleted during the day each time we resist a temptation or make a decision.  So we become more and more vulnerable … Continue reading

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Is this really necessary? —- ADD Tip o the day 266

With my ADD, it’s important that I learn to ask that question before I start something and even while I’m doing something.  Is this really necessary?  What’s the payoff?  What will happen if I don’t do it?  How does it … Continue reading

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Psychology of ADD: Defenses — ADD Tip o the day 264

With or without ADD or ADHD, we couldn’t survive without defenses.  But some are more healthy and functional than others.  Healthy – humor, sublimation, altruism, et al.  Unfortunately we tend to some others, like denial and avoidance. denial – I … Continue reading

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Psychology of ADD: Perfectionism — ADD Tip o the day 263

So we with ADD or ADHD tend to a big dose of shame, and often we coped by trying to be perfect.   “I’ll show them; they’ll see I am worth something.”  and “If I do it perfectly, then nobody … Continue reading

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Psychology of ADD: Shame —– ADD Tip o the day 262

Shame is a deep core emotion, which we with ADD or ADHD tend to carry with us, from childhood failures, inadequacies and criticisms.  Shame involves other people; it’s the way we feel when we think our bad stuff is exposed … Continue reading

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Comorbid: Dyslexia et al — ADD Tip o the day 261

With ADD or ADHD we are more likely to have learning problems – dyslexia, dyscalcula, dysgraphia.  I have a touch of each.  These are not actually part of ADD or ADHD, they just seem to frequently travel together. I read … Continue reading

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Anxiety and ADD —- Tip o the day 259

30-50% of us with ADD or ADHD have a comorbid anxiety disorder also.  Many people with anxiety problems turn out to also have ADD.  Anxiety alone can produce some of the symptoms of ADD, but I doubt if it can … Continue reading

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Comorbid: Depression and ADD —- ADD Tip o the day 258

We with ADD and ADHD have a 2.7 times higher rate of depression than the general public where the rate is about 10%. Reasons: 1. Childhood abuse, shame, failures  make us vulnerable to depression.  2. our continued failures and poor … Continue reading

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Comorbid —- ADD Tip o the day 257

Comorbid refers to conditions that go along with the primary problem, in our case  ADD or ADHD.  This is not a list of our problems, but of diagnoses that often accompany them: 1. Depression – our problems set us up … Continue reading

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Impulse spending —- ADD Tip o the day 256

With ADD or ADHD this can be a big problem.  How big a problem is it for you, and how much do you want to control it?  You need strategies: 1. cut up your credit cards.  You have eight good … Continue reading

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Budget and impulse buying — ADD Tip o the day 255

I was asked to comment on budget and impulse buying.   I might not be the best person for this, but – will offer a few thoughts: We were never able to keep a budget and spent a lot of … Continue reading

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Reading with ADD – Tip o the day 254

I love reading.  But do I have dyslexia, which often accompanies ADD or ADHD?  In general I don’t have a reading problem – maybe.  I do reverse numbers all the time, rarely letters.  I read fast, have no patience to … Continue reading

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Stuck with ADD — ADD Tip o the day 253

With ADD or ADHD we can easily become stuck or paralyzed.  Sometimes I just can’t get started on anything. I wrote about ‘the one fork strategy’;  just pick one very small thing and do it. A man responded, ‘My wife would not be happy at … Continue reading

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How to change — ADD Tip o the day 252

Change is hard for anyone, not just for people with ADD or ADHD.  First, we have to make up our mind to change; the payoff has to be worth the effort to us (usually someone else wanting us to change is not enough). … Continue reading

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Podcasts and ADD — ADD Tip o the day 251

Do you watch or listen to podcasts? I never have, but there’s some appealing topics  on facebook, some on ADD or ADHD.  I assumed that I wouldn’t have the time or the patience for them, but decided to check it out. Learned … Continue reading

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– ADD Tip o the day 249

Bonnie Mincu’s blog came up with a concept new to me, that some of us ADDers or ADHDers think that using a calender is a cop out.  They pride themself on their memory.  Would this fit this any of my … Continue reading

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good links ADD Tip o the day 247

here’s links for some particularly good blogs we all struggle with the same stuff, and we can find strategies that help us make our lives better.  then we can share them. bonnie mincu clik here anahi ortiz clik here for those … Continue reading

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criticism with ADD —- ADD Tip o the day 245

just got the first NEGATIVE REVIEW! on amazon, by J. well, I had anticipated it sooner or later – some people don’t like flan, i don’t like broccoli, not everyone is going to like the book.  that’s life.  isn’t that … Continue reading

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Succeeding —- ADD Tip o the day 244

Anahi Ortiz Md, pediatrician and ADHD coach interviewed me for her blog, about how I’ve managed in spite of ADD.  you might find it interesting :   clik here and it looks like i’ve learned how to do the “clik here” … Continue reading

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Sit! —- ADD Tip o the day 243

New idea!  - think it’s gonna be great!  if you have ADD or ADHD, or even if you don’t—– Went to weekend event, wasn’t what I’d expected, but was able to go into chapel by myself and SIT.  prayed a … Continue reading

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Memory aids — ADD TIp o the day 242

With ADD or ADHD our problem is focus and not really memory, so it’s paradoxical that we need memory aids, but we do.  Otherwise, we don’t remember, and then—— I wear a black elastic on my wrist to remind me … Continue reading

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Memory????? What memory? —ADD tip o the day 241

Bonnie Mincu just put up a great post: We think we have bad memories actually we probably don’t, we just have trouble with attention and concentration (ie focus) so it comes out the same.  but we get down on ourselves (a strategy … Continue reading

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